Tori Spelling’s mom Candy has decided that her daughter doesn’t need any significant amount from Aaron Spelling’s $500 million.

Despite reports that Tori Spelling would inherit millions from her father’s $500 million estate, Us has learned exclusively that the actress, 33, will get just 0.16 % of the Spelling fortune. Tori’s share – a cash inheritance payment of $200,000, combined with approximately $600,000 in private investments her dad set up for her – is a brush-off Aaron Spelling would never have intended for his only daughter, says a family source.

I’m no math genius, but 0.16% sounds pretty small even if that amounts to $800,000. Now Tori has to rely on her business savvy and acting ability to make a living. Which pretty much means you’ll be seeing Tori at the dollar store and pawn shops much more often.

Imagine you’re Aaron Spelling, circa 1973. You hold in your arms your newborn child, pull back the blankets and shriek! “What the hell?” Are you the father of the first cross-species mammal? Half-human, half cocker-spaniel, the doe-eyed mammalian stares back at you.

You give the child a new nose, her own tv show, a set of boobs for chrissakes! And how does she repay you? She doesn’t! The least Tori could’ve done is stayed with her dad, pointed to her boobs and thanked him. Instead, she blames her mom for not calling her to tell her that her dad died.

I hope Aaron Spelling takes back her funbags and wills them to those less fortunate.

Without Aaron Spelling, what would Tori be? Just another washed-up, blond porn actress studying the physics of the first three-way anal.

Update: The Spelling family responds.

“We are deeply saddened that, during our time of loss and grief, we are forced to respond to the media frenzy caused by the mean-spirited and surprising comments made by Tori to the press, just two days after the passing of Aaron,” the statement, issued by Spelling family rep Kevin Sasaki, begins.

“As we try to honor his memory with love and respect, the sudden media frenzy she has created at this sensitive time is hurtful and very disturbing,” it continues. “Aaron’s legacy deserved pure and unadulterated tribute and recognition which, sadly, has been tainted.

“Everyone deals with grief in a different way, and since Tori chose not to be here at that time, we believe she is having a harder time dealing with that loss. We understand how difficult it might have been for her to be here, and, perhaps, more difficult for her after she arrived. Aaron loved both his children with all his heart, and he understood how hard it was for her.”

The big news on Friday was that Aaron Spelling died. The man responsible for giving people a glimpse to what it would look like if you were a 30 yr old trying to pass as a high schooler and for inducing premature puberty in boys with Charlie’s Angels, but inhibiting them again with 7th Heaven.

• Wonder Woman may be played by Priyanka Chopra. My vote is still for Charisma Carpenter.
• The Clerks II trailer is out.
• Nicole Kidman has officially dominated Keith Urban.
• Trying to steal some of Kidman’s thunder, Marcia Cross also got married.
• Click is #1 at the box-office, but Waist Deep almost makes just as much as Click per theatre.