Alessandra Ambrosio needs to stop getting pregnant. Hopefully this will be her last kid for a while. According to her Facebook, Alessandra gave birth to a boy named Noah Phoenix Mazur who’ll join his genetically gifted sister Anja Louise.

She wrote, “Well, the day just arrived and we couldn’t be more happy!!! Noah Phoenix was born yesterday afternoon and already stole our hearts. Anja is a proud big sister now and we are so thankful he is with us…”

Her fiance Jamie Mazur tweeted, “Welcome my son, can’t wait to show u around this crazy place.” He didn’t add, “There’s going to be so many models for you to bang.”

I’m amazed that at six or seven months pregnant, Alessandra Ambrosio still looks like she could pass for a non-baby infested Victoria’s Secret model. It’s a stark contrast to Jessica Simpson who looks like someone stuffed three 25 pound turkeys inside of her.

Alessandra Ambrosio is five months pregnant with her second kid but that didn’t stop her from walking the runway in Sao Paola for the Brazilian fashion line Colcci. Aw, gross.

The 30-year-old model, best known as one of Victoria’s Secret’s “Angels,” looked smashing at five months pregnant, wearing tiny shorts and short skirts to show off her long legs but looser fitting tops and dresses to accommodate her growing belly. NYDN

With how used to skinny models the attendees were, I wonder if they threw up a little in their mouths when Alessandra took the stage and if a few of them rushed to the bathroom to put a finger down their throats because they felt like they were catching some of the fatness.

Alessandra Ambrosio’s rep confirmed to PEOPLE that the Victoria’s Secret model is expecting her second child with fiance Jamie Mazur.

When Jamie first heard the joyous news he screamed, “Aw, god dammit. Not eight months of fat sex again!”

Photographer Ralphael Mazzucco released a book titled Culo and if you know any Italian/Spanish/etc. at all, you already know this book is about asses. The new coffee table book features asses from celebrities like Nicole Scherzinger, Stacy Keibler, Lady Gaga, Fergie, Alessandra Ambrosio and more. Even Diddy gave the book his approval.

“Raphael is a true artist,” Diddy says of the famed fashion photographer in a press release for the book. “He relies on instinct, capturing a raw, natural sense of beauty through his lens.” PEOPLE

I feel like that press release could have been condensed to just: “Dayaaaam! Dat ass!” A few excerpts below including Scherzinger, Keibler, Ambrosio, Kate Upton, Christie Teigan and Irina Shayk. Video also below.

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2011 took place on Wednesday in New York. Nicki Minaj, Kanye West and Jay-Z performed while models such as Adriana Lima, Miranda Kerr and Alessandra Ambrosio walked the runway modeling outfits you’ll never see a normal person wear. We in the business call that “fashion.” All the models looked pretty hot. As they should considering all the dieting they do leading up to this day. But, jesus, what’s with blurry pictures. Doesn’t anyone know how to focus a camera? You click the shutter button halfway and then press it down after it focuses. It’s not hard, people. It’s not like trying to find the clitoris. I mean, can someone draw me a map or something?

When not modeling, Alessandra Ambrosio is in Maui with her daughter showing off her body. What I’d like to know is is this a Victoria’s Secret sanctioned bikini? What would happen to her if it wasn’t? Would the punishment be to force feed her a stick of fried butter?

Here’s Alessandra Ambrosio modeling a swimsuit in Panema Beach for the Colcci fashion line. For being a Victoria’s Secret model, this is disappointing. She should be in something much skimpier. Like this bikini I made out of saran wrap. It’s practical AND sexy.

The great thing about Victoria’s Secret Swimwear is you don’t have to be a woman to enjoy their catalog. All you have to have is an open mind and a couple boxes of tissues. Uh, you know, to wipe away the fingerprints on your collector’s edition catalog.

Victoria’s Secret supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio showed up to the grand opening of Marquee Dayclub at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas on Saturday. Wearing a dress held together by string, she stood next to a pregnant Selma Blair. Well… that’s just mean.

Not only is The Daily Mail starting the fire but they’re also fanning the flames. They posted this picture of Victoria’s Secret Angels Adriana Lima, Candice Swanepoel and Alessandra Ambrosio at a swimsuit photoshoot yesterday to highlight how skinny Candice seems in comparison and to feign concern. They make it sound like it’s a bad thing when a girl’s thighs never touch.

The 22-year-old appeared to have lost a significant amount of weight as she modelled the lingerie line’s new range of swimwear at The Mondrian hotel in Los Angeles.

Standing alongside models Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima, she stood out from her fellow Angels with her pencil thin legs and concaved stomach. She also appeared noticeably slimmer around the jawline. While Adriana and Alessandra looked slender in their black swimsuits, Candice looked almost emaciated next to the two girls.

To be fair, who wants to look at fat chicks in bikinis. I want my chicks in bikinis to be skinny. The skinnier the better. The best is when they have to be tethered to a spike in the ground so they don’t blow away with the wind.

Here’s Alessandra Ambrosio in GQ Brazil doing what she does best. Look hot in a bikini. The entire article was talking about me and how she loves me more than her baby. See? It’s right there in that second paragraph. Aw, what do you know? You don’t speak Portuguese.

Alessandra also uploaded a new video to her website of her swinging around on a really modern-style sex swing. At least that’s what I think it is.

Taking a break from all the Charlie Sheen madness, here’s Alessandra Ambrosio modeling for French Revue de Modes. Sure, they painted her up like a whore but if you pay close attention, she’s wearing a see-through top. It’s so sheer she might as well not be wearing anything at all if you catch my drift. Hint hint. Take it off. Woo! *Throws dollar bills at computer* NSFW version here.