Dana Kennedy from the Huffington Post did some investigative reporting and found out Tony Parker’s supposed mistress is a liar. Earlier, a woman named Alexandra Paressant went to X17 claiming she and Tony had an affair in France because Eva Longoria wouldn’t let him give her a facial. Alexandra even went so far as to make a video for X17. Soon after, Parker filed a $20 million suit against X17 claiming the story was false. It turns out Tony was telling the truth and Alexandra is a complete psychopath.

The real Alexandra used pictures of a German model, Hana Nitsche, for her MySpace page. She then tricked Hana into making a fake video about Tony so she could send it to X17. Alexandra told Hana that it was a casting video for a love movie. She did the same thing with Brazilian soccer player Ronaldinho by doctoring photos of him. Ronaldinho is also suing her.

Dana caught up with a childhood friend of Alexandra who said,

“She was never happy in her own skin,” said Marie-Caroline. “She never thought she was pretty enough. She was troubled. It was like she felt she didn’t really exist.”

Uh, yea. Who would do something this insane? This is incredibly weird. Heh heh. *Hides pictures of Jessica Alba with my head pasted on her boyfriend’s* Crazy bitch.

Video is of the girl Alexandra was pretending to look like.

Tony Parker has filed a $20 million lawsuit against X17 who claimed he had an affair with Alexandra Paressant shortly after he married Eva Longoria. The suit alleges X17 defamed him and that X17 never tried contacting him to verify the information. Tony claims,

“X17 had to know that the story was false, or at the very least, it had to have entertained serious doubts about the credibility of its supposed source.”

This could have all been avoided if Eva was into anal and facials. Two things which are a requirement in marriage. It says so in this marriage handbook that I may or may not have just written on this Burger King placemat. See? Ooops, it should read “anal” not “annal”.

Alexandra Paressant (Myspace), a French model and supposedly the girlfriend who kept Ronaldinho up all night with sex and Playstation, claims she and Tony Parker maintained an illicit affair in Paris. A mutual friend, soccer player Thierry Henry, introduced the two after Tony gave her the come hither look — it consisted of him winking at her… real hard — at his and Eva Longoria’s wedding. The two began exchanging sexually explicit messages until September 29 when they finally hooked up in Paris at the Park Hyatt hotel. This continued until Tony left for San Antonio. Alexandra says,

“We had room service. He said that Eva sexually speaking does not want to do certain things. She do not want to make love in front of a mirror, does not like certain position and thinks that sperm gives acne”

Wow. You mean to tell me this thing won’t let Tony shoot a load on her face, but this girl (NSFW) will? That doesn’t make sense. Ugly girls aren’t supposed to be choosy. They’re supposed to try harder and be grateful. This goes against the very laws of nature. It’s like Eva slapped God in the face and said, “Screw your rules, asshole.” Not only that, Alexandra has clearly proven sperm doesn’t cause acne. If anything, it might actually make your skin more awesome. Take heed women. The road to flawless skin is paved with gallons of joy juice.

Update: Tony says this is all a lie. Eva loves sperm on her face.

· “The other woman” speaks [X17 Online]
· Eva Longoria and Tony Parker Smack Down Rumors of Affair [People]