If you didn’t think Tim Burton’s re-imagining of the classic Alice in Wonderland would be filled with haunting imagery, surreal landscapes and much creepier, lecherous versions of characters from the story, then you must not know Tim Burton very well. Are you sure we’re thinking of the same guy?

This is what they’d look like. ComingSoon.net has the first look at Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland. It seems Depp’s Mad Hatter will be to Wonderland as what that guy driving a blacked out van with “Ice Cream” stenciled on the side is to middle schools. An anticipated character who raises the creep factor.

High Shool Musical 3 over Saw V: Holy crap, there’s a V? Anyway, teeny boppers will prefer the waxy looks of Zac Efron over the imaginative disembowlment of unrelatable characters. I think.

Miley Cyrus is living with her boyfriend: NE says that Miley Cyrus is looking for her own apartment — common practice for high school freshmen — and is currently living with her 20-year-old boyfriend. I’m told that unlike Jamie Lynn, Miley knows where a condom goes. “On a banana, right?!” Ugh. *shakes head*

Radar is dead, long live Radar?: Radar has been purchased by AMI along with their website. They will hope to rise from the ashes as a serious competitor to TMZ, but not to me because I’m untouchable. I have big muscles. David Perel says Radar Online will begin delivering celebrity content immediately and hey, if you’re looking for a job, they’re hiring.

Crispin Glover found a job: Crispin Glover has been cast in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland and will bring the film to a much higher level of creepiness usually only reserved for 35-year-olds with pedophile beards.

Ashley Todd sucks at making things up: I think the picture sums up the story nicely.