Stop the presses. Have I got shocking news for you. A celebrity’s daughter received preferential treatment on a reality show. News at 7! Also, you may be surprised to find out the sky is blue.

As you may or may not have heard, Jim Carrey’s daughter, Jane, auditioned for American Idol and managed to get a golden ticket. Though her American Idol experience was vastly different than that of her peers. Mostly because she never had to wait in line like those other schmucks.

“She didn’t have to sleep outside and wait for hours hoping to audition like everyone else,” a source exclusively told RadarOnline.com. “She basically had an appointment and showed up!”

The source said they doubted if the judges knew about the special treatment Jane was given, but the show gave her the VIP service.

“Her audition was pre-arranged with the producers. She did not wait and line up for hours or days outside – she had a time, she showed up and went in,” the source said. Radar Online

If I were Jane, I’d name drop my dad, Jim Carrey, too. Only suckers wait in line. Which is exactly what I tell people when I cut in front of them at Starbucks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=1iT0U4Z2iv0

For those of you that don’t watch American Idol anymore, you missed last night’s episode where Jennifer Lopez broke down and bawled like a little girl after stomping all over contestant Chris Medina’s dreams. Chris Medina, of course, is the guy who brought his brain-injured girlfriend to meet the judges. Probably at the behest of AI producers to make everyone go “awww”.

J.Lo let Chris down gently telling him he wasn’t good enough but to keep practicing. When Medina left, Lopez started crying. Oh, boo hoo. Play it up for the cameras. She’s about as heartbroken over this as she was when they messed up her lunch order. Way to make yourself the center of attention. When Chris goes home to take care of his brain-injured wife, I’m sure he’ll be glad to know that the one thing people will remember about his appearance on AI is JLo crying.

Even though everyone knew about it and didn’t care, American Idol still made a spectacle of announcing Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler as the two new judges.

Asked what she was looking for in an Idol contestant, Lopez said, “I’m looking for the next Michael Jackson. We’re looking, we’re looking, like Randy said, for the best American Idol ever.”

Steven Tyler’s corpse also mumbled something but it wasn’t clear what.

I bet “descending unto Earth like an angel from the heavens” was part of Jennifer’s diva demands for appearing on AI. Every show is going to start like the picture above. Jennifer on a cloud in the sky floating to the stage as harps play behind her and a beam of white light illuminates her body. I for one welcome our musical Messiah.

Despite rumors of diva behavior which American Idol claims were started by the competition, Jennifer Lopez just inked a $12 million deal to be the third judge on American Idol.

According to the report, Lopez was hoping for movie and TV development deals to accompany and even larger Idol salary as well as input about her new co-judges, but Fox made no commitments and she settled for a cool $12.

“She’s very excited,” a source close to Lopez says of the final deal.

Having no discernible musical talent or onscreen charisma, this is a major coup for people like Heidi Montag, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian who can only dream of pretending to know what they’re talking about while millions of viewers at home watch in utter disbelief.

Turns out Jennifer Lopez is still one of the top picks to be a judge on American Idol. Despite rumors to the contrary which said negotiations ended because of her diva-like demands, sources tell TMZ that, barring any last-minute snags, the deal could signed as early as next week.

“‘Idol’ sources say producers believe Jennifer is the key to re-energizing the show.”

Are we talking about the same Jennifer Lopez? The only energy she could bring to the show is emphatic wheezing as she reaches for the last donut.

Looks like American Idol has their heart set on a third judge that can make their lives hell. E! reports that Mariah Carey is still in negotiations to be the third judge on Idol.

“She wants it,” says the source. “She’s seen what America’s Got Talent has done for [hubby Nick Cannon] and thinks it will be a good career move.”

When contacted Thursday evening for comment, a rep for Carey didn’t confirm or deny, responding only that there is “nothing to report.”

Several sticking points remain, but we hear that Fox is optimistic that they will make a deal with Carey.

These sticking points include having someone hold her straw for her while she sips from her cup, having her seat higher than the other judges so she’ll look more important and all contestants must bow down and kiss her feet before every performance. You know, the usual.

When news broke that negotiations had fell through for Jennifer Lopez to be one of the judges on American Idol because of her ridiculous demands, Lopez tweeted the photo above with the caption, “Hmmm… what should I wear today?”

Oh, snap! Passive aggressiveness. You showed them (or us?), J.Lo. I still have no idea what your point is, but it hurt. It hurt bad.

With the departure of Simon Cowell, American Idol thought this would be the perfect time to shake things up so they’re replacing Ellen DeGeneres and Kara DiGuardi. The only problem is Kara didn’t know she was fired until she read about it on the internet. Her dad explains,

“Would you believe she did not hear — and still has not heard — anything?” Joe DioGuardi said on the New York TV show “Capital Tonight.”

“She read it the way you did and I did. Her disappointment is that that’s the way she’s being treated and she feels that’s not proper. I think they’re trying to create a lot of buzz … they’re trying to reformat the thing. But Kara has a very deep career in music … she’ll be fine. Would she want to do it another year? I think so … I think at some point (she) will confront them on that.”

Yes, at some point, Kara will confront FOX about them kicking her off without notice. You know, if it’s alright with them and if they’re not too busy. You’d expected her to be on the phone the day she heard about it but instead she’s just moping around. Is Kara a pushover? I bet if I stole her ice cream cone she’d gently tap me on my shoulder and ask me how it tastes.

The deal to have Jennifer Lopez as one of the new judges on American Idol has fallen through. Presumably because she thought she was more famous than she really is.

A source close to the deal says, “Her demands got out of hand. Fox had just had enough.”

Well thank goodness. Listening to Jennifer Lopez relate every one of her criticisms back to some point in her life where she was down and out would have made me want to kill myself. And I don’t even watch the show. I don’t even know what advice she’d give to contestants. Is “be hot in a movie then release an album because idiots will eat it up since your famous” helpful? The answer is yes. Especially when it’s coming from someone sitting on a golden throne being fed grapes by shirtless slaves. She knows what she’s talking about because she looks important!

On Thursday, Ellen DeGeneres announced that she wouldn’t be returning as a judge to American Idol. No one really cared because the only thing Ellen was good for was agreeing with what Simon or Randy said but phrasing her critique in a different way so it would sound like her own idea. Whenever she was asked to give her opinion first, you could see her floundering before coming up with either an obvious comment or a wishy-washy analysis.

Kara DioGuardi was also fired because she was useless and no one liked her even though she was the most attractive one there. Sources say the official reason is that AI wants to go back to the three-judge format. Which would make sense if they kept the original judges. But they didn’t. So read into that as you will.

Reports today say Ellen and Kara have been replaced by Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler. Oh, good. So this show will be even less entertaining. What’s the over/under that Jennifer will somehow always include a little fact about herself in each of her critiques and Steven will look lost every time he’s called on. Next season of AI will just be an infomercial for Lopez’s life and people confusing Steven for a 70-year-old lady.

[Fame]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp-wchflAfE&feature=player_embedded

The whole point of American Idol is to find the most talented and charismatic singer of the year. One the public will love enough to vote for. Contestants go through audition after audition to impress both the judges and America and spend countless nights wondering if they’re the next to be booted off the show. They probably spent most of their lives honing their craft to one day make it big.

Consequently, it must be real discouraging and frustrating to watch a world famous band with little to no singing ability perform and dance around in front of them like idiots while the audience blindly cheers along. The remaining contestants must have done their best “WTF” face when watching The Black Eyed Peas perform on American Idol last night. None of these guys can sing without autotune. Will.I.Am sounded like he was drunk karaoking, Fergie screeched a few notes and I’m pretty sure they turned the other guy’s mic down. If I was an Idol contestant, I would have just hung myself right there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONmEVro8Fog

After demolishing the Dallas Cowboys, 40-year-old Brett Favre went back into the Vikings locker room to celebrate with a little bit of ass slapping and a rendition of America’s #1 hit, Pants on the Ground. Christ, Favre is unstoppable.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATWC9hXLUio&feature=player_embedded

Last night on American Idol, contestant General Larry Platt debuted his soon to be #1 hit single, “Pants on the Ground”. As you can clearly see, the judges loved it as did everyone in the room. Timbaland called in right after and wanted to lay down some tracks with Larry. Chris Brown, Kanye and Akon have nothing on this guy.