Angelina Jolie Is an Evil Sorceress

When I saw this set, it was labeled, “Angelina Jolie has become an evil sorceress,” so I just assumed they were photos of Angelina stealing a husband on the set of her new movie.


Angelina Jolie Shows Off Her Engagement Ring

Angelina Jolie made an appearance outside the Roosevelt Hotel and showed off her $250,000 – $1M wedding ring which is of course larger than Jennifer Aniston’s because whenever we talk about Angelina Jolie, we have to let people know that whatever she’s doing, she’s doing it better than Jennifer Aniston.


Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Were at the Oscars

Brad Pitt may not have won Best Actor for Moneyball, that honor went to Jean Dujardin for The Artist obviously (seriously, the Academy must have gotten so hard watching that silent film), but he still gets to bang Angelina Jolie and her right leg, which kept making an appearance through a slit in her dress the entire night.


Angelina Jolie Is on a Hunger Strike

In a show of solidarity with the third world children she visits, an Angelina Jolie source says her thin frame is due to her going on fasts “to make statements.” Being fabulously skinny is just a side-effect.