Anna Nicole’s physican, Sandeep Kapoor, may have been gay because he kept a diary. Unless all physicians keep diaries. Then are they all gay? Or are they all six-year-old girls? Regardless, out of numerous diary entries, Sandeep had only two interesting excerpts revealed by a California Medical Board investigator during a hearing that will determine if there is enough evidence to take Sandeep, Khristine Eroshevich, and Howard K. Stern to trial for facilitating drugs to and having inappropriate contact with Anna Nicole. E! Online reports,

“I was making out with Anna, my patient, blurring the lines. I gave her Methadone, Valium. Can she ruin me?” and “I have to get off the drugs”.

Sandeep will be happy to know Anna Nicole cannot ruin him as she is dead. However, he may be disappointed to find he has ruined himself and his masculinity with the revelation of his diaries. It’s only a matter of time before detectives find a diary entry revealing the details of Anna’s death paired with a drawing of Madonna’s boy toy, Jesus, dressed in a rainbow leather catsuit with the lyrics of Barbra Streisand’s “The Way We Were” scribbled beside him. One has to wonder if Sandeep left his diary out for easy discovery so that he may one day live out his dream of being someone’s prison bitch. Why else would a man risk disease by kissing a drugged out Anna Nicole? Answer me that, Howard Stern.

In 1996, Anna Nicole Smith starred in Skyscraper. The next movie she was in wouldn’t be for another eleven years when she appeared in Illegal Aliens which was released in 2007 (the year she died). Eleven years. Why did it take so long? Judging by the outtakes from Skyscraper, she was well on her way to an Oscar. Oscar, of course, being her dealer. (via I Watch Stuff)

According to the Associated Press, Anna Nicole Smith was once considered a possible murderous vixen who may have been responsible for the death of her rich husband’s son.

“Smith’s FBI records, obtained exclusively by The Associated Press, say the agency investigated Smith in 2000 and 2001 in a murder-for-hire plot targeting E. Pierce Marshall, who was at the center of a long legal fight to keep the starlet, model and stripper from collecting his father’s oil wealth, valued in the hundreds of millions. The younger Marshall died three years ago of natural causes.”

And with that, two new Law and Order episodes have been cleverly scripted on Anna May Smithson whose life was plagued by death by natural causes. Oh, and drugs. Lucky for Anna Nicole, prosecutors concluded there wasn’t enough evidence to charge her, but not before detaining and investigating her Dr. Suess hat.

“The FBI files show a .357 Smith and Wesson revolver was confiscated from Smith’s home, along with a 3 1/2-inch stainless-steel knife and, for reasons that were not explained, a black and orange hat described as ‘Dr. Seuss.’ All three objects were returned to her about seven months later.”

When asked the reason for the confiscation of Anna Nicole’s Dr. Suess hat, an unidentified FBI agent shrugged and said, “It made me feel fancy.”

Anna Nicole Smith died in 2007 due to a drug overdose and possibly at the greedy hands of her doctor, psychiatrist, and boyfriend/attorney, Howard K. Stern. Now, E! is reporting that a California based pharmacist refused to fill an order for “six potent substances” by Anna’s psychiatrist as it was “pharmaceutical suicide”. The pharmacist informed Anna’s internist that he would not fill the prescription, thus saving her life. Way to go, buddy. E! continues,

“Dr. Khristine Eroshevich, whose name was on all 11 meds found in Smith’s room, had written scrips for two sedatives, 300 tablets of methadone, a muscle relaxer, an anti-inflammatory drug and four bottles of a painkiller nicknamed “hospital heroin.”

What one person may call “pharmaceutical suicide” is what I call an awesome weekend. I know my friends Anna Nicole and Michael Jackson can agree with me. Am I right, guys?

…guys?

Howard K. Stern turned himself in after he, Dr. Sandeep Kapoor and Khristine Eroshevich were charged with conspiring to feed an addict, Anna Nicole Smith, with prescription drugs. Smith died last February from taking a lethal combination of RX’s.

Stern and Kapoor were charged with one count of unlawfully prescribing a controlled substance. Eroshevich and Stern were charged with unlawfully prescribing a controlled substance between June 2004 and January 2007.

Kapoor and Eroshevich were each charged with obtaining a prescription for opiates by “fraud, deceit or misrepresentation.” They were both also charged with one count of obtaining a prescription for opiates by giving a false name or address.

Kapoor and Stern were also charged with one count of “prescribing, administering or dispensing a controlled substance to an addict.” Eroshevich was charged with the same crime for separate prescriptions.

It took over a year, but Anna Nicole finally got her revenge. Her storybook life finally has a worthy final chapter and that chapter is her rising out of her grave to reclaim her baby Dannielynn. Muahahahaha.

This picture of Anna Nicole Smith naked and covered in her own vomit was supposedly taken when she overdosed in the Bahamas, not when she died. Hah and they said she lacked class. Suck on this naysayers. Uncensored pic here.

A search of Anna Nicole Smith’s hotel room yielded illegal narcotics and prescription medications. A toxicology report will determine if these drugs played a role in her death. The autopsy is scheduled for Friday in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Citing a credible source, Access Hollywood states,

The employee pulled back a sheet and discovered that she appeared to have choked on her own vomit. The same source claims that Smith took what was referred to as a “children’s sedative,” and had “kept passing out” before her death.

Read that very carefully. Her OWN vomit. I smell conspiracy. Are they trying to cover up that she may have, in fact, choked on someone else’s vomit? The crack team of Florida investigators are not ruling it out. That nurse is going to have some explanin’ to do.

That picture of Anna getting a 10 count, although hilarious, is an old picture. She’s wearing a different top, bracelets on wrists and is missing a tattoo.

Jessica Alba’s bra is up for auction on eBay.

Alessandra Ambrosio is one of the top 2 Victoria’s Secret Models. That’s right, I said it.

Pink wears panties unlike some other celebrity I know. Had she gone au naturale I seriously may have vomited.

Christina Aguilera is an alcoholic. No drunken tirades yet.

Anna Nicole’s eviction is final. Needs money now. Has decided to forget wearing panties like Britney. Effect is not the same.

The Wii is an awesome console. That’s why I bring you the Wii Lebowski.

Bye, bye, American Pie.

This reminded me of Green Acres. G. Ben Thompson has repeatedly told Anna Nicole Smith to vacate his home in the Bahamas. Anna has not complied claiming the house was gifted to her. Last Friday, Thompson took matters into his own hands by shutting off the electricity to the house. Anna Nicole pleaded with the power company to restore electricity which they did, until Monday. Now she’s living in the dark probably trying to figure out where they hid the switch to the candles.

Not only that, G. Ben Thompson sent his son-in-law to serve Anna Nicole with an eviction lawsuit and what followed was something that I thought only happened on the old Nick-at-Night.

We’re told Smith ran back inside the house and then appeared on the balcony and, in classic antebellum style, began screaming: “You get off this property. This is a gift and I ain’t ever leaving. And I’ll show you, Ben, you ain’t never gonna see the baby again! You did a declaration for that fuckhead Larry Birkhead!”

This is made even more peculiar by the fact that the son-in-law was serving the papers, yet Anna seemed to be addressing G. Ben Thompson himself. Add a pig, a pitchfork and overalls to this story and we could have ourselves a hoedown. And that ounce of sympathy I had for Anna after her son died has been dutifully replaced by a pound of contempt.

Right after the world learned Anna Nicole was evicted, her residency has come into question by a Bahamian politician. Former prime minister Hubert Ingraham has also asked the government to look into her residency status.

“Clearly, Anna Nicole Smith is not a fit and proper person to become a permanent resident of the Bahamas,” Ingraham said of the 38-year-old former Playboy model. “Her general character and reputation don’t commend her for such status.”

The Bahamas don’t side step the issue that they make exceptions for the rich,

The law in the Bahamas states that a person owning a house there valued at more than $500,000 and having the means to reside without being employed … and being of good character … can be eligible for residency.

If Charles Manson moved into a $3 million house there, they would just say, “Well, the human skulls he keeps aren’t that bad. At least they’re clean.” So once Anna is out, she’s definitely no longer fit to be a resident of the Bahamas. She continues insisting the house was a gift, but developer G. Ben Thompson is still denying it. This is another life lesson for Anna. If you’re going to have a sugar daddy, don’t screw yourself over by “marrying” your lawyer. The best thing she can do for herself is find another sucker to give her a house worth more than $500k. God knows there are a lot of them living in the Bahamas.

Anna Nicole Smith is now being accused of bribing Bahamas’ immigration minister, Shane Gibson, with a $10,000 check delivered personally to his home to fast track her citizenship. According to Larry Birkhead, this was necessary to avoid any talks of custody and visitation. Minister Gibson explains,

“Now granted this one was done very quickly,� he told The Bahama Journal. “We did our research. It’s not the first time.� He cited the case of a wealthy Czech financier from 1995, whose application was processed in just over two months. When asked if he had visited Smith in the hospital after the death of her son, Minister Gibson refused to comment.

Gibson just told everyone that if you’re really famous or really wealthy, citizenship will come pretty fast and if you’re not any of these things, then maybe you shouldn’t be escaping to the Bahamas anyway.

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I bet Anna Nicole Smith would look smoking hot on her wedding day”? If you have, then you would be wrong. Dead wrong. People snagged these wedding pictures of Anna Nicole Smith and Howard K. Stern for an alleged $1 million. To say she looks stunning would be an understatement. She is gorgeous. That’s if gorgeous dunked it’s head in a vat of pig fat and mugged for the camera while its son, who died a couple weeks ago, was awaiting burial. Rest of the pictures after the jump.

Larry Birkhead, the other guy claiming to be the dad of Dannielynn, has filed suit for a paternity test. He alleges Anna Nicole Smith is addicted to methadone (found in Daniel Smith’s body) and Stern facilitated the habit. That she fled to the Bahamas to avoid drug testing her baby. That Howard is claiming he’s the father for his own financial gain. Some say he sold his wedding/commitment photos to People magazine for $1 million. And that Stern asked a third man to say he was the father of Anna’s daughter, but it didn’t work because he already had a vasectomy.

So continues the dysfunctional circus that is Anna Nicole’s life. Not even the best soap opera writers in Hollywood could come up with something like this. If they did and they handed it in for approval, they would be asked to take this part out because it’s a little too far fetched, but the parts about vampires are fine because vampires are super cool.