Anne Hathaway romped around the ocean in Miami in a black bikini today without her $150,000 engagement ring while sporting her pixie cut that doesn’t really work for her because it exaggerates her already exaggerated features. She just looks like a living, breathing caricature of herself now.

Here are those Dark Knight Rises promo pics for Catwoman, Batman and Bane that have been passed around the internet like a cheap hooker. They’ve been released in such a way that they’re easily Photoshopped into inappropriate situations such as I’ve done here.

Anne Hathaway pulled an Emma Watson the other day, chopping her hair short in a pixie cut for her role in Les Miserables. This elicited a “Dear god, what have you done?!,” from everyone on the planet. Nevertheless, all smiles, Anne debuted the new do at The Box nightclub in London last night.

Someone should tell Anne Hathaway that short hair only works on some girls like Morena Baccarin from Homeland and V. Anne and Emma Watson, not so much. In fact, maybe not at all.

In an interview with, I’m not sure who, Anne Hathaway said she could relate to Lindsay Lohan because she’s done a lot of the same stuff.

“Lindsay Lohan and I have more in common than people think. We’ve all done things we shouldn’t. It is just that I did stuff at college when nobody knew about it, so I’m not a saint. I wasted time doing self-destructive things.”

“I found you can only dance on so many table tops. I got all that out of my system and I am healthy and grounded.”

Lindsay Lohan has hijacked a car, been caught with cocaine, flashed her crotch, stole clothes and jewelry, gone to jail and been on probation for half of her life. I’m pretty sure the similarities between Lindsay and Anne stop at them both having a vagina.

Looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt’s club for failed relationships just got a lot lonelier because Anne Hathway found a guy who isn’t a shady con-artist who pretends to be a priest as part of a real estate scam. That is to say, after three years of dating, Anne Hathaway and actor Adam Shulman are engaged.

The Oscar-nominated actress, 29, has been spotted out and about recently wearing an engagement ring — designed, her rep tells Us, by Kwiat Heritage.

“We hit it off immediately, but it took us a pretty long time to get together,” Hathaway has said. After they realized they were both single, the actress reveals that “things sped up a bit — and I think I’ll leave it at that.”

“So far, it’s worked out great,” the Dark Knight Rises actress told Harper’s Bazaar of her guy, adding that Shulman was far more “mellow” than her previous romances.

“Mellow doesn’t always make for a good story, but it makes for a good life.”Us Magazine

Anne continued, “Compared to bilking old people out of money, drowning stray cats in the bathtub doesn’t seem quite so bad.”

Breaking Dark Knight news. Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman costume now comes complete with cat ears. Just in case all of you were confused about this cat woman thing, her goggles now double as a way to tell you, the viewer, she is indeed like a cat.

Speaking of Anne Hathaway, she’s on the cover of the September edition of Interview magazine. She hides her face on the cover but gets all artsy inside. Anyway, on to some quotes.

On her royal obsession: “Right now, I’m obsessed with Kate Middleton. Obsessed. I loved the Royal Wedding. I was so cynical going into it, and pseudo-political about the whole thing, but as soon as I saw her I was utterly charmed. I’m just completely enchanted by Kate and William. With everything she’s doing right now, I say, ‘Yay, Kate.’”

What? There was a wedding? Was that why Pippa’s ass was dressed in white?

On the Jersey Shore: “When I first saw the show, I thought, Wow, they are having a very different experience there than my experience in Cape May. I thought the first season of the show was awesome because it was authentic, but I don’t watch it any more because now they know that there’s a camera there. The Situation is totally self-aware. He’s referring to himself as The Situation non-stop. In the episode I saw, his car got towed, and he was like, ‘We’ve got a situation here, and The Situation is the situation.’”

When I first saw the show, I reached for a gun so I could blow my brains out but all I ended up doing was squirting water in my face.

On Snooki and J-Woww: “I like to watch MTV for escapist pleasure, but when I saw Snooki, I saw my twin. I couldn’t lose myself in the show anymore because there I was… That being said, I think JWoww is amazing. I love JWoww. She’s intense. See, JWoww to me is proper Jersey because she will scrap for a friend.”

To be clear, Anne, you’re comparing yourself to a no-talent pickle eating midget. This is about as apt a comparison as K-Fed is to Brad Pitt. I’ve heard Ozzy Osbourne make more sense than you.

One of the reasons to love Anne Hathaway and her exaggerated features and her ghost white skin is she’s kind of pretty and she doesn’t take herself seriously. In fact, she’ll shout-sing a terrible rap she made up that would make even Rebecca Black cringe and she’d feel no shame. Save until the end when she’s overcome with embarrassment.

The only thing I remember about Catwoman is what I saw from Michelle Pfeiffer in the original Batman movie. That is to say, the only thing I faintly remember is Catwoman wore a leather cat costume, had a whip and licked herself a lot. Normally when a chick does this, you’d call her crazy but if she’s hot, she sort of balances out to normal.

Anyway, Anne Hathaway’s version of Catwoman is more subtle than Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry’s version. She’s done away with the cat ears and instead opted for a pair of fancy riding goggles. Don’t worry though. She still has the skin-tight leather costume which, sadly, also benefits her two biggest foes, butt sweat and diaper rash.

At this point, I’m not sure if Anne Hathaway can even tan. She’d burst into flames if she was in the sun longer than 5 minutes. I’m surprised people weren’t rushing up to her at The Naked Heart Foundation and clutching her wrist to see if she still had a pulse. Her body bounces off so much light that most of the time she looks like a ball of pure energy.

James Franco generally sucked while co-hosting the Oscars with Anne Hathaway. The show itself sucked but at least Anne put in effort. In fact, judging by the way James acted, people thought he was high. He wasn’t, apparently.

Franco went on Letterman and theorized people thought that because Anne Hathaway was so energetic. “I’ve thought about it. I think I know why, because — I love her — but Anne Hathaway is so energetic, I think the Tasmanian Devil would look stoned standing next to Anne Hathaway.”

James added that he hadn’t watched the show and admitted he might have had low energy but “I actually played those lines as well as I could.”

He then pointed out the hypocrisy of Hollywood: “But here’s the hypocritical thing: Leading up the Oscars, I couldn’t hear enough about how, ‘Oh, people don’t care about the Oscars anymore; it’s dead, it’s boring, it’s at the end of a long awards season, who cares about it?’ Well, as soon as you don’t host the way they want you to, they suddenly care and won’t shut up about it!”

Yea, tell me about it, James Franco. First the big wigs are all like “sir, you’re not allowed in there. That’s Megan Fox’s private dressing room,” and then they’re all like “securrriittyyy!” What’s up with that?

Although Anne Hathaway’s Oscar hosting duties didn’t pan out like she’d hoped, she still was the big winner at the end of the night. Mostly because Tiffany’s & Co. paid her $750,000 to wear a necklace. Meanwhile, Gwyneth Paltrow, who performed Coming Home during the telecast, was paid $500,000 to wear earrings, a brooch and ring from Louis Vuitton’s “L’Ame du Voyage” collection.

It’s not the first time Paltrow has been linked to lucrative, hush-hush endorsements. In late 2009, sources told Us Weekly that the actress was compensated to help promote the lavish Hotel La Mamounia in Marrakech, Morroco.

Reps for Paltrow, Hathaway, Vuitton and Tiffany & Co. all tell Us the payment claims are “incorrect.”

Yea, stop inflating the numbers to make the story juicier, Us. $750,000? Preposterous. I mean, it’s probably closer to $725,000. That’s like the difference between a cheeseburger and a double cheeseburger. Amateurs.

James Franco and Anne Hathaway have grown to hate each other ever since bombing the Oscars last Sunday. An insider claims Anne had to provide all the energy while James just phoned it in. They added that producers “were pissed.”

In fact, as UsMagazine.com reported Monday, after the awards, Franco, 32, skipped his own party at L.A.’s The Writer’s Room.

“He went immediately back to NYC because he was pissed about how the show went,” adds a third source.

Franco’s rep responds, “This is absolutely not true,” while Hathaway’s rep says, “Anne had a wonderful experience with him.”

I’d be pissed too if my co-host was just standing around like a lazy lump of Britney Spears. Not even a 5 Hour Energy drink and a Redbull would have woken James up. Anne should have given him this drug called Charlie Sheen. I hear it’ll melt your face off.