Salma Hayek showed up in red leather Gucci for the Puss in Boots photocall at Cannes. It went swimmingly. Mostly because a 7 foot tall giant pointed his camera downwards at Salma’s chest.

Melanie Griffith has checked into rehab again. Her publicist says this was planned in advance much like when you run into a pole and try to pass it off as being whimsical.

“She is there to reinforce her commitment to stay healthy. This is part of a routine plan that was designed between her and her doctors years ago.”

Everyone else says different. They say she’s in there this time to save her 13 year marriage with Antonio Banderas as he’s tired of her addiction to drugs and alcohol.

What’s the big deal? Drunk girls are fun. Have you ever watched a middle-aged woman try to compete in a pole dance or wet t-shirt competition with their loose skin and saggy breasts flopping around? Sooo hot.

[Image: Splash News]

Antonio does his best Sylvester Stallone impression.

At a press conference for his new heist movie, The Code, Antonio Banderas was asked who he’d like to swap places with for a day. His answer was that he’d like to try being a woman to better understand the “fairer” sex.

“But I don’t know which one. May be Mimi, just to understand what she is going through,” he joked, referring to The Code director Mimi Leder.

Helpful hint to Antonio Banderas. If you want to know what it’s like to be of the opposite sex, buy yourself an apron and a spatula and get to work because if sexism has taught me anything, it’s that the hardest part about being a woman is avoiding the splatter of grease from a frying pan and remembering to take the pill every day. Oh and of course, childbirth. But, if men can handle a hangnail once in a while, I think women should be able to handle a 8 pound baby tearing through their vagina.