The Blemish » ashlee simpson Better than a slap to the face Wed, 19 Nov 2014 01:09:25 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Magazines Unwilling to Buy Ashlee Simpson’s Wedding Photos Wed, 03 Sep 2014 18:48:22 +0000 Ashlee Simpson married Evan Ross last Saturday in Connecticut in what was probably a beautiful ceremony. The two also took a bunch of pictures of the nuptials in hopes of selling an exclusive to one lucky magazine. The only problem is no one cares about Ashlee Simpson or Evan Ross. Cue the sad trombone.

An insider explains that the Simpsons have a history of selling pictures to magazines. Like when her dad sold an exclusive multi-part deal with OK! magazine when Jessica Simpson was still with Nick Lachey and, most recently, Jessica sold her wedding photos to PEOPLE for $300,000.

But that’s Jessica Simpson we’re talking about. She’s sort of famous and has a modicum of talent. This is in stark contrast to Ashlee Simpson whose biggest claim to fame is messing up a lip sync on SNL and dancing an embarrassing jig which effectively ended her career.

Another source claims that the only magazine who had any interest was PEOPLE, but even then they had one condition. Since no one cares about Ashleey or Evan, Jessica had to be in the photo or else they wouldn’t guarantee a cover.

Coincidentally, after NYDN contacted Simpson’s rep about it, the wedding photos were released for sale to any magazines and papers without an exclusivity deal. They were released on Labor Day. In the late afternoon. So if you wanted to know what desperation smells like, take a whiff of this.

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Ashlee Simpson Will Marry Diana Ross’ Son Tue, 14 Jan 2014 17:53:35 +0000 Ashlee Simpson and Evan Ross are engaged. According to the weirdly lit photo she posted on Twitter that made it look like they were about to enter the gates of Heaven, it happened in Hawaii. That or Hawaii is where the honeymoon is going to be. I’m not exactly sure. It’s not like there’s been a lot of press surrounding Ashlee lately letting everyone know where she is. May your marriage be fruitful and the amount of times Bronx is asked by his friends, “You don’t look half black. Are you adopted?” be kept to a minimum.

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Ashlee Simpson Spent the Weekend in Hawaii Wed, 02 Jan 2013 18:43:26 +0000 Sure, Jessica Simpson may have been born with the talent, the looks and the t*ts and Ashlee went 0/3 in those departments but she surprisingly came out the big winner over NYE weekend in Hawaii. Probably because she didn’t have back to back pregnancies or stuff her face with county fair pies.

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Ashlee Simpson Is the Hot One Now Fri, 28 Dec 2012 00:29:22 +0000 Because Jessica Simpson is about to balloon up to hungry hungry hippo size in a few months… again, her fiance Eric Johnson needs new eye candy. Who better than Jessica’s sister Ashlee who’s kind of hot now.

This is like one of those movies where the ugly duckling sister finally blossoms into a beautiful swan or that other one where an average girl just stands next to a really fat girl so she looks pretty by comparison.

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Ashlee Simpson Is Edgy Now or Something Thu, 01 Nov 2012 22:31:23 +0000 Hoping to erase that memory of that career ending performance on Saturday Night Live where she danced a little jig after she was caught lip-syncing, Ashlee Simpson released a teaser video for her new single Bat for a Heart, her first new material since her 2008 album Bittersweet World. And this time she’s all grown up and edgy.

How can you tell she’s edgy? The black and white, the writhing around in panties and the prevalent use of the word “f*ck.” My god! Did you see that? She’s dressed in barely anything and she’s swearing. Mothers. Un-ball that fist from around your pearls and use it to cover your children’s ears!

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Ashlee Simpson in a Bikini Mon, 26 Sep 2011 16:06:17 +0000 While Jessica Simpson, who has yet to be pregnant, denies rumors that she’s getting a breast reduction to make herself look skinny, Ashlee Simpson (left side), who’s had one kid, is on vacation in Mexico in a hot little bikini denying rumors that her ass was genetically engineered by horny scientists.

Geez, just look at that. Ashlee may be the talentless one in the family but she more than makes up for it by not being fat. Although her dad is creeping me out by pulling a half-Basic Instinct in that lounge chair.

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Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson May Be Calling Off Divorce Fri, 01 Apr 2011 15:30:13 +0000 It was only February when Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz announced their divorce after two and a half years of marriage. Pete, however, wouldn’t let go. He kept wearing his wedding ring even after the break-up and seemed to be still trying to win Ashlee back even though she’s dating his friend, Craig Owens.

It seemed pathetic at first but, hey, all that groveling might have worked. X17 says the two were seen hand in hand flirting with each other during a Starbucks run with their kid. An eyewitness tells X17, “Ashlee and Pete definitely seem back on — from their body language to the smile on their faces, it certainly looks like they’re headed toward reconciliation.”

This source isn’t far off from sounding like an internet commenter who cries “fake” and claims “I can see the pixels.” Just because a girl smiles and looks happy doesn’t mean she is. Hell, I can make a girl smile and flirt with me. Just give me a knife.

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Ashlee Simpson Dating Pete Wentz’s Good Friend Fri, 11 Mar 2011 19:45:23 +0000 Craig Owens is a member of the band D.R.U.G.S. which just released its first album on Decaydance, Pete Wentz’s record label. Pete even called D.R.U.G.S. his favorite band of 2010. Not only that, but:

“Pete did a lot for this guy,” a Wentz source tells “Craig was in another band and got kicked out. Pete found Craig, built a band around him and signed him.”

To repay Pete for his kindness, Craig started nailing his ex-wife, Ashlee Simpson. What a good friend.

A witness says the two were holding hands in the elevator at the Beverly Center mall in LA and “a lot of the time he had his arm around her. They even kissed each other on the lips. It was obvious they were a couple.”

Attempting to spin this, a “source” claims, “Ashlee and Craig are longtime friends. They have spent some time together, and he is comforting her throughout this difficult time.”

I’m sure he’s comforting her real well. Comforting her on the couch, on the table, on the stairs, on the kitchen counter, at her house, at his house. He’s given Ashlee so much comforting that that you could say she’s been comforted right up the butt.

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Pete Wentz Wants Joint Custody Tue, 08 Mar 2011 23:53:23 +0000 Ashlee Simpson is hoping to get primary physical custody of her and Pete Wentz’s 2-year-old son Bronx. Probably because she loves the child support with all her heart. I guess that sounds like a cynical way of interpreting this. That is until you find out Ashlee wants the court to make Pete pay for both of their legal fees. Unsurprisingly, Pete has taken issue with that.

Wentz just filed legal papers in response to Ashlee’s divorce petition … asking the judge for JOINT physical and legal custody of their son. In her divorce petition, Ashlee checked the box that indicated she wanted primary physical custody.

According to the docs, filed in L.A. County Superior Court and obtained by TMZ, Wentz also wants each party to pay their own legal fees … even though Ashlee asked the court to make Pete foot the bill for both sides.

And while Ashlee didn’t specify the official break-up date in her papers — Pete says the two called it quits on Feb. 9 … just days after Pete came home from a wife-less trip to Dallas for the Super Bowl.

So Ashlee filed for divorce, wants child support and won’t even pay her legal fees. Is this because she resents Pete for costing her a lucrative music career? Someone should tell her it wouldn’t have worked out anyway. By laughing in her face.

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It Was All Ashlee Simpson’s Fault Fri, 18 Feb 2011 17:02:05 +0000 When Ashlee Simpson filed for divorce from Pete Wentz, her side said it was because Pete was touring too much and was never home and that she didn’t sign up to be a single mother. Pete cried and cried trying to reconcile with Ashlee but it was fruitless. Now there’s another side to the story.

Friends of Ashlee and Pete say she’s the one to blame. Ashlee has been out partying for the last few months while Pete was away. “Specifically, the singer-actress hangs with a crew of pro skateboarders in San Clemente, Calif. and returns home at sunrise. She would loose track of time.”

Pete “started getting burnt out” by it. He felt he couldn’t trust Ashlee while he was on tour. He “would constantly check in on Ashlee, and he’d have his friends call the house and her cell to make sure she said she was where she said she was going to be.”

Meanwhile, Popeater claims Ashlee’s dad, Joe, was partly to blame. In the creepiest quote you’ll read today, a friend says “Joe likes being the only man in his daughters’ lives and is happy that Ashlee has moved back into his home [in Encino, Calif.], just like Jessica did after she announced she was leaving Nick.”

Why wouldn’t he be happy? That teddy bear nanny cam he has in the bathroom has pretty much gone to waste since Ashlee and Jessica left. Just kidding. But not really. That dude is creepy. I wouldn’t put it past him. He probably has gigs of half-naked pictures from his daughter’s photoshoots so he can look them over and critique them.

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