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Ashlee Simpson is promised to Pete

February 28th, 2008Respond

Last night on Fuse TV, Ashlee Simpson denied rumors that she was engaged to Pete or that she was pregnant. Ashlee said the ring she has is a promise ring, not an engagement ring.
“It just means that he hasn’t asked my dad yet…” she explained
Similar to Pete Wentz, promise rings are stupid retarded. Unless they’re …

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Ashlee Simpson has a bikini

January 10th, 20084 comments

Ashlee Simpson and boyfriend Pete Wentz were in Costa Rica where they found time out of their hectic celebrity lives to lounge around in their swimsuits and do nothing. Oh and look, Pete Wentz is even more of a douche than I previously imagined. Nice trunks you fairy.

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Fark you Jamie Lynn

December 20th, 20072 comments

Ashlee Simpson is said to be disappointed over this Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy circus because it took the spotlight off her debut video for her new album Outta My Head. This is par for the course as everyone will remember this isn’t the first time a Spears has eclipsed a Simpson.
“Her sister, Jessica, grew up …

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Pete Wentz is banned for Christmas

December 6th, 20076 comments

Joe, a Baptist preacher, isn’t too keen on Pete Wentz’s predilection for making out with men and has banned Ashlee Simpson’s boyfriend, Pete Wentz, from coming over for Christmas.
“Joe was skeptical about the relationship from the start,” an insider told Star magazine. “There is a rumour that Pete tried to commit suicide, but with the …

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The other Simpson sister

November 14th, 2007Respond

Reunited and it feels so good. Ashlee Simpson was recently introduced to her long-lost older sister, Mildred Simpson. She was found dancing in a traveling vaudeville show in the deep, deep dirty South. Father Joe now has plans to mention her breasts a hundred times in interviews and produce her own reality show on the …

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Joe Simpson and Pete Wentz are tough

September 12th, 2007Respond

Ashlee Simpson’s dad and boyfriend tag teamed a bouncer last night after said bouncer pushed Wentz into Ashlee. I tried making that sound as gay as possible. The altercation began when bouncers at Jet Nightclub did not allow his friend, Gym Class Heroes MC, Marc DeJesus, leave with them. Consequently, Pete went into bitch mode.
“What …

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Ashlee Simpson is jealous for good reason

August 10th, 2007Respond

Last weekend in Chicago, Pete Wentz, with Ashlee Simpson in tow, stopped by Blender Sessions at the Hard Rock to help Crobar Chicago co-owner, Mike Matushcka, celebrate his 40th. For some strange reason, female fans wanted to take pictures with Pete Wentz. Understandably jealous of said women, Ashlee Simpson wouldn’t let any of them come …

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Ashlee Simpson is a good girl

August 7th, 2007Respond

Ashlee Simpson and boyfriend Pete Wentz hosted a backstage lounge at Lalapalooza in Chicago over the weekend. They hit up the gifting suites, but failed to give any photo ops with the sponsors’ swag. However, one in particular was snubbed for a different reason.
“They were given ‘KY Intimacy kits,’ but they wouldn’t take photos with …

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