Ashley Kaufmann’s pictures were revealed yesterday by OK! Magazine and In Touch. The modesty exhibited in them was puzzling because it is suspected Ashley has Lohan blood in her. You’d expect her to be fellating a Popsicle if that was the case. Some worried she may not have even have inherited any Lohan genes at all. Well, let MSNBC assuage your fears because according to them, Ashley has been asking studios for a record deal.

A record-industry insider says, “Ashley has more talent than Lindsay or Ali.” A Lohan family source adds, “Ashley’s singing ability just proves that the family talent comes from Michael (Lohan), not Dina Lohan.”

If there’s one thing the Lohans are good at, it’s being opportunistic. They’d sell out their own children for a piece of fame. And they have! I only hope that one day when I’m a parent of a famous kid, I’ll have the wherewithal to ride the coattails of my child’s success and pyramid it into a 6-figure TV deal. That’s the American Dream. I think.

Both In Touch and OK! released photos of Lindsay Lohan’s supposed 13-year-old half-sister, Ashley Kaufmann, who was thought to be fathered by Michael Lohan during a break with his then wife, Dina. Michael Lohan is arguing for a DNA test before he sends over any money.

The question now is: Do you see any resemblance to a Lohan? She doesn’t look 13 going on 30, she’s not flashing her panties, there are trees behind her as opposed to mountains of coke and she’s not making out with a chick. In other words, all signs point to “no.”