Turns out it’s not a good idea for a douchey white guy to paint his face brown and indulge in ethnic stereotypes for an online campaign. Who knew?

Popchips has pulled an ad starring Ashton Kutcher in brownface talking in an Indian accent after viewers, such as entrepreneur Anil Dash, called it racist. The entire clip is a collection of characters for a fake dating service all played by Ashton. One of the personas is Raj, a Bollywood producer looking for love. Popchips said it was supposed to be funny, online-only campaign.

“The new popchips worldwide dating video and ad campaign featuring four characters was created to provoke a few laughs and was never intended to stereotype or offend anyone,” the rep wrote. “At popchips we embrace all types of shapes, flavors and colors, and appreciate all snackers, no matter their race or ethnicity. We hope people can enjoy this in the spirit it was intended.”

Popchips should have known that nothing Ashton Kutcher does could “provoke a few laughs.” Unless he got hit in the head with a rock and fell into a manhole. That would get a few chuckles from me as I ignore his cries for help.

Mila Kunis spent a weekend with Ashton Kutcher in Santa Barbara doing coupley things like buying fruit from roadside stands and shopping for furniture but that doesn’t mean they’re dating.

Extra’s Ben Lyons caught up with Mila at CinemaCan in Las Vegas where she said, “It’s absurd! A friend is a friend.”

Does this mean they’re friends with benefits? Because if that’s the case, I could understand why she doesn’t want people thinking that jackass was poking her just for fun.

Rumors that Mila Kunis and Ashlton Kutcher were dating were quickly shot down by Mila’s publicist. The denial may have been a little premature because PEOPLE details a three-day getaway the two made to the coastal town of Carpinteria, CA just south of Santa Barbara.

Sources say the two ate sushi, shopped for sunflowers and blueberries at a roadside stand and had a lot of private time on Saturday and were only spotted making a coffee run the next day. To restore their bodies after all the sex presumably.

A source says Ashton has been in love with Mila since That 70′s Show but never got a chance since she was dating Macaulay Culkin. Yet another source says Kutcher isn’t looking for anything serious. “He always talked about Mila like a little sister. They’re definitely close pals and have been. I think if anything she’s a good time for him. But he’s not looking for anything serious.”

The only reaction I have to this is, fuuuuuuuu, Ashton Kutcher. Then again, Mila should have told me we weren’t exclusive. Her window isn’t the only one I can creepily stare into at night, you know. Mark my words, you’ll miss these glowing eyes that you only catch a glimpse of in your periphery when they’re gone.

For whatever reason, Ashton Kutcher showed up at the Academy of Country Music Awards to present the award for Female Vocalist of the Year which went to Miranda Lambert. But being Ashton Kutcher, he did this while wearing a ridiculous 10-gallon hat and a red blazer that looked like it was stitched together from two footballs and stood next to a guy in a green gilded blazer and hat holding a mug of beer.

Miranda Lambert didn’t think anything of it at the time but later took to Twitter to wonder, “Was Ashton Kutcher making fun of country or is it just me? Watching it back now and I’m kinda wondering?”

Another country singer, Justin Moore, didn’t mince words. He tweeted, “Seen Ashton kutcher at the acms tonight. What a douche! I don’t care for people making a mockery of the way country artists’ dress.”

Ashton eventually defended himself on Twitter, “I Am One Of The biggest country Music fans you’ve ever met. Wasn’t making fun at all.”

Granted, no one is sure how sincere that was because they couldn’t really see if he was snickering in front of his computer as he typed that out. Which he probably was.

Then again, some would say that this was karmic retribution for inviting Kiss.

Variety reports that Ashton Kutcher has been tapped to play Steve Jobs in an indie biopic titled Jobs directed by Joshua Michael Stern and written by Matt Whiteley. Coincidentally, handjobs is probably what Ashton gave for this. The film will follow Steve Jobs career from “wayward hippie” to co-founder of Apple where he died making it his life’s mission to destroy Android.

Hopefully the Steve Jobs pic Sony Pictures is currently working on will overshadow this. There’s no way Steve Jobs was that big of a douchebag that they need Ashton Kutcher to play him.

Rihanna was at a press conference for Battleship in London when a reporter asked in the most long-winded way possible whether or not she was dating Ashton Kutcher. I think because asking questions about the actual movie which was named after an old board game but has nothing to do with the old board game because now there are aliens involved would be pretty inane. Anyway, Rihanna got all offended. You can actually see her expression change from a smile to utter disappointment in the video.

“Wow, how disappointing was that question,” she said. “I’m happy and I’m single, if that’s what you’re really asking.”

Oh, boo hoo. What did you expect when people saw you peel away from Ashton’s place at 4 in the morning. But whatever. If you want a real question, let’s move on and ask Liam Neeson how much he got paid to dial it in.

I didn’t post this yesterday because TMZ inexplicably took the post off their site leading me to think they confused some blonde haired girl for Rihanna. Then I thought there’s no way LA can be that colorblind that even the paparazzi couldn’t tell a black chick with blonde hair from a white chick with blonde hair. How many black girls are there with blonde hair peeling out from Ashton Kutcher’s house anyway?

Whatever the case, the story is Rihanna was photographed visiting Ashton Kutcher’s house from 1 a.m. to 4 a.m. early Wednesday morning. Supposedly Rihanna was partying at Colony when she got a text and sped off for this late night douche call. No word on what they were doing. My guess is Ashton probably just wanted to sell her on riding on his rocket. Turns out it took Rihanna 3 hours to realize that was a euphemism.

All our dreams are about to come true and we didn’t even have to lift a finger. Not only did Justin Bieber get his ass kicked in a photoshoot, but now Ashton Kutcher has willingly asked to be blasted off into space. Hopefully to be stranded on a distant planet and turned into a sex slave by Rosie O’Donnell look-a-likes. Richard Branson wrote on his blog to announce the joyous news that Ashton paid $200,000 for a spot on his Virgin Atlantic Galactic flight.

Great news today news from our Astronaut Relations team at Virgin Galactic: our 500th future astronaut customer has just signed up! Even better news is that number 500 is Ashton Kutcher. I gave Ashton a quick call to congratulate and welcome him. He is as thrilled as we are at the prospect of being among the first to cross the final frontier (and back!) with us and to experience the magic of space for himself. Virgin

No launch date has been set but with this new revelation, several volunteers have come to help expedite the construction of the space shuttle and to help stab a bunch of holes in Ashton’s spacesuit.

Ashton Kutcher won’t answer any questions about Demi Moore’s hospitalization but it’s safe to assume he heard the news even while he was in Sao Paulo for Fashion Week.

TMZ has exclusive video of Ashton at a Bruno Mars concert in Brazil one night after Demi suffering a supposed seizure from doing whip-its. He probably heard about the incident right before this video was taken. Let’s see how he reacts.

Wow. What the hell was that? You can tell he wants to get into it but doesn’t want to go all out so he’s only sort of half-fist pumping while his other hand is in his pocket. It’s like if Clark Kent were at a Burno Mars concert.

And if you’d like, here’s Ashton looking like a dweeb in animated gif form on the next page.

Sara Leal says her life was ruined after sleeping with Ashton Kutcher. That sentence should be plastered on billboards every ten miles in SoCal as a warning to women. Anyway, Sara was fired from her job as an administrative assistant (though she doesn’t mention the job where she’s hired to go to clubs to talk to rich dudes), her best friend moved out and her dad won’t talk to her. No one told her being famous for sleeping with a married celebrity and ending his marriage would give such bad press. Though she claims she didn’t even know he was married.

“I don’t watch television and I read very few magazines. It never crossed my mind that he was married. But then he said he was separated, which still doesn’t make things okay, but I wasn’t thinking clearly,” Leal said. “He was a good looking guy and it was stupid. When people say to me ‘I can’t believe you did that’ I want to say back that most 22-year-old girls in my position would have done the same thing.” Fox News

Turns out it was the wrong decision because if she had to do it over again, she wouldn’t.

“It was insane. I had no idea what I was getting myself into,” Leal said. “It might have seemed like I was asking for it, but I wasn’t. My dad wouldn’t even talk to me, and I got a lot of disturbing phone calls, even from my friends’ parents.”

And those topless shots her friends leaked to the mags? That’s not how she is.

“Those made me look bad and everyone who knows me on a personal basis knows I am not a crazy slut party girl,” she said. “I’ve had one boyfriend since I lived in San Diego, and those pictures were one weekend out of my life that painted the worst image of me ever. I was a mess for two weeks straight it was so horrible.”

Wow. The amount of disbelief oozing out of my pores right now is scary. 1. Topless pics in Vegas. 2. Partied naked with two other girls in a hot tub with Ashton Kutcher. 3. Had sex with Aston Kutcher. I’m pretty sure that’s “crazy slut party girl” by definition. I have about as much sympathy for this chick as I do for a rock being thrown at Ashton Kutcher’s face.

The now single Ashton Kutcher and Lea Michele got real cozy at the New Year’s Eve premiere in Los Angeles last night. The two were all over each other even though Lea came with Jonathan Groff. I’ll just assume Ashton was more trying to get a look at her tits than hitting on her. The only sweet nothing he whispered in her ear was, “I hope you’re not using nipple tape.” That Ashton, he’s so suave.

Apparently no amount of Kabbalah therapy could save their marriage as Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore announced today that they’re getting a divorce. Ashton naturally took to Twitter to post, “I will forever cherish the time I spent with Demi. Marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world and unfortunately sometimes they fail. Love and Light, AK.” I like how Ashton implies outside forces were responsible for the failure of his marriage and not the fact he banged a bunch of whores while Demi wasn’t looking.

Meanwhile, Demi eschewed a social media statement and went old school with a plain old regular statement through the wire. She said, “It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life. This is a trying time for me and my family, and so I would ask for the same compassion and privacy that you would give to anyone going through a similar situation.” That was basically Demi putting all the blame on Ashton for the dissolution of their marriage.

In other news, Kim Kardashian jumped for joy because this is going to take some of the heat off her own fake marriage/divorce. Now she and her people don’t have to go through with their plan of leaking pictures of a fat(ter) Khloe Kardashian and implying she’s pregnant.

Ashton Kutcher can no longer think for himself. After expressing outrage about Joe Paterno’s firing and then being informed as to why he was fired and being made to look like a doofus, Kutcher has decided that he needed to protect his image and has decided to filter his thoughts through his management before they’re posted on Twitter.

Up until today I have posted virtually every one of my tweets on my own, but clearly the platform has become to big to be managed by a single individual. When I started using twitter it was a communication platform that people could say what they are thinking in real time and if their facts where wrong the community would quickly and helpfully reframe an opinion. It was a conversation, a community driven education tool, and opinion center that encouraged healthy debate. It seems that today that twitter has grown into a mass publishing platform, where ones tweets quickly become news that is broadcasted around the world and misinformation becomes volatile fodder for critics. APlusK

Wait, what? Is he specifically talking about his tweet, “How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste,” becoming volatile fodder? Geez, it was just a comment that made you look stupid for a second. Calm down, buddy.

Last night after returning home from work I walked by the television and simply saw a headline that Joe Paterno had been fired. Having no more information than that, I assumed that he had been fired due to poor performance as an aging coach. As a football fan and someone who had watched Joe’s career move from that of legend/innovator to a head coach that fulfilled his duty in the booth, I assumed that the university had let him go due to football related issues. With that assumption (how dare I assume) I posted a tweet defending his career. I then when about my evening, had some dinner, did a little work, and about an hour later turned on ESPN where I got the full story. I quickly went back on my twitter account and found a hailstorm of responses calling me an “idiot” and several other expletives that I’ve become accustom to hearing for almost anything I post. I quickly retracted and deleted my previous post, however that didn’t seem enough to satisfy people’s outrage at my misinformed post. I truly am sorry if I offended anyone and more over am going to take action to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.

For a guy who’s an advocate against child sex trafficking, you’d assume he’d heard about this from his people. Guess not.

A collection of over 8 million followers is not to be taken for granted. I feel responsible for delivering an informed opinion and not spreading gossip or rumors through my twitter feed. While I feel that running this feed myself gives me a closer relationship to my friends and fans I’ve come to realize that it has grown into more that a fun tool to communicate with people. While I will continue to express myself through @Aplusk I’m going to turn the management of the feed over to my team at Katalyst Media to ensure the quality of it’s content. My sincere apologies to anyone who I have offended. It was a mistake that I don’t think will happen again.

This is why Twitter sucks. Most celebrities now have their stream managed by someone specifically hired to make sure they don’t look like an idiot. God forbid a famous person looks human once in a while. How low must your self-esteem be that instead of just laughing it off you have to hire an entire management team to protect your image.