I can’t quite figure it out but something about these pictures make Aubrey O’Day seem way hotter. What could it be? I have this feeling it’s staring me right in the face. If only I could put my finger or my hands on it. And squeeze it. Maybe even motorboat it.

One way to stay relevant is to tweet yourself in a thong. It works much better if you’re decent looking and have a nice ass. Someone must have let Aubrey O’Day in on this secret because that’s what she did. Congratulations are in order, I suppose.

For a woman that doesn’t want to be judged solely on her looks, she sure does post a lot of “look at me I’m half-naked so judge me” pictures on her Twitter. Aubrey O’Day’s latest update shows her bare ass in fishnets accompanied with this message: “By POPULAR request… Tweets, welcome to my fishnets! Love/Hate: suck me in, wear me out!”

Love/hate. But only respond if you love because Aubrey can’t stand critical people. Unless the criticisms are positive. In which case, judge all you want you lovable, judgey bastard.

In case you missed the other shots, here they are.

Aubrey O’Day made an impassioned speech on YouTube today regarding topless pics that were leaked of her from her performance in the Las Vegas musical Peepshow (here, NSFW). Aubrey says that because of it, she’s taking a stand and won’t perform just for tonight. Clearly the people who had nothing to do with the leak and paid good money to see the show must now be punished.

Apparently this is happening because she’s mad some people were making fun of her body. Although in their defense, it’s hard not to when to the left of her photo is one of Holly Madison topless in the same show taunting Aubrey with her perfect breasts and six pack.

Aubrey whines about how hard it is to be a female celebrity these days pointing out that people are constantly scrutinizing their bodies. As if implying that the general public ties her worth as a celebrity to how skinny and sexy she looks. Crazy talk! Then she takes off her shirt and flashes everyone on YouTube. Basically, Aubrey O’Day’s point was this: “Tits!”

In an astounding turn of events that probably made Rupert Murdoch turn in his grave, Sean Hannity invited Aubrey O’Day onto the show to discuss serious political and societal issues such as America’s health care reform. Aubrey O’Day took the opportunity to let be known that she thinks Fidel Castro was da bomb. Hitler was too.

When U.S. Representative Diane Watson regarded the (arguably cuddly) communist dictator Fidel Castro as a “brilliant leader,” Audrey O’Day called upon her wealth of knowledge of political discernment and gushed: “I’m not defending his behavior in many instances, but I do have to say that I will 100% agree he’s an incredibly brilliant man,” citing the fact that she “worked with him” when she was in Cuba.

I have absolutely racked my brain trying to figure out what line of “work” would bring two incredibly different people- a ruthless communist dictator responsible for the death of thousands and a D-list starlett best known for her friendship with pornstar Jenna Jameson- together for even thirty seconds, let alone enough time for Aubrey O’Day to conclude that he was indeed a “brilliant man,” and I’ve come up with nothing. Someone needs to tell Aubrey O’Day that the Fidel Castro she met wasn’t actually Fidel Castro himself, but a documentary she saw on the history channel about Fidel Castro. I know, darling. The lines between reality and television can get a bit blurred for you. I understand.

Oh yeah, and who else does Aubrey O’Day think is brilliant aside from Castro? Hitler. Of course.

Watch above. Brain cells don’t grow back easily.

As far as I’m concerned, Aubrey O’Day wasn’t nude in that Playboy shoot. Those were processed so much that you might as well be looking at anime porn. So naturally, I’m still curious as to what her tits really look like. I bet there’s something really wrong with them like one points up and the other points to the left or they have really bad halitosis.

Aubrey O’Day’s Playboy pictorial finally came out and much like the preview cover, it was disappointing. You might as well be masturbating to a pig in a dress. At least then you could get bacon out of it. Delicious bacon.

From here, but you have to sign up.

Aubrey O’Day celebrated her fall from grace Playboy pictorial by partying with Hugh Hefner and her dog. Kudos to her for not wearing white and holding an impromptu wet t-shirt contest. A lot of attention whores wouldn’t have been able to resist. Stay true to yourself, Aubrey. One day you might even straddle the line between D-list and B-list.

Aubrey O’Day, fired from the recently disbanded Danity Kane, is on the March issue of Playboy on sale this Friday. She’s airbrushed to the point that she looks like CGI. So if you’re a big geek, this is a dream come true because there’s probably all sorts of CGI nudity inside. Maybe even some elves or mages and a book of spells or whatever it is you fantasize about while watching anime porn.

More pics here.

Aubrey O’Day recently turned lesbian but not really because she tells Us: “At this point in my life, I wouldn’t say one way or another what my preference is sexually. The only thing I’m looking for in life is incredible passion and honest love… no matter what options are on the table.”

That’s cool. Most raging sluts won’t admit their raging sluts. Aubrey O’Day is unabashedly so. She’d get horny if you put a baseball bat and lube by her nightstand. See that dog she’s holding? She probably took it back home and f’d it against its will because she thought their souls were intertwined.

Complex released a behind the scenes look at the hot and trashy photo shoot they did with Aubrey O’Day. It turns out Aubrey’s natural instinct when given bottled water is to pour it all over herself. The photographer probably didn’t have the heart to tell her it was for drinking. More after the jump.

Aww, poor Aubrey. Since being kicked out of Danity Kane, she’s had to get her meals at a soup kitchen. No, actually you’ll be happy to know she was just volunteering at the New York Rescue Mission. Still, her income has really suffered. She’ll probably only clear $100,000 in appearance fees this year. Gosh, I hope she can survive the week. Your bailout is coming, Aubrey.

The unapologetically whorey Danity Kane castoff, Aubrey O’Day, may be posing nude for Playboy. Sources tell TMZ that Aubrey has been in the Manhattan photo studio all day posing with lion cubs and being shot in the buff by Markus Klinko. No word on whether the photographer wrapped Aubrey in bacon and if tiger cubs is a euphemism for full grown adult tigers that have been poked with a stick and not fed for three weeks, but here’s to hoping.

Update: Pics here