Celebrity Big Brother is where once famous people go to live out their miserable existence. It’s like a retirement home for has-beens. Anyway, Verne Troyer is in the house this season and yesterday, they forced him and other contestants to dress in a bear suit and eat a pot of honey. I think the results speak for themselves. Best show ever? Yes, best show ever.

So, to continue with the analogy. This would be the kind of retirement home that you see on the news all the time where residents are secretly abused. Of course, if these were actual old people, it would be cruel and sad. But thankfully they’re not. They’re d-listers and that makes it hilarious.

If you haven’t heard about the Big Brother Australia incident, then here’s a really short summary. People are pissed after watching the show, which was edited, when they saw Camilla being seemingly sexually assaulted with a turkey slap by some guy named Ashley. For some reason, a turkey slap is a cock slap, but I prefer to call it a love tap.

I found the live feed of the incident. It’s NSFW towards the end. You can see Camilla has no problems with it at all which is refreshing. So, ladies, pay attention. Just say yes to cock slaps. Your country depends on it.

Update: Youtube video after the jump.