The Blemish » bikini Better than a slap to the face Sat, 04 Jul 2015 22:25:13 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Charlotte McKinney Calls It ‘Bullshit’ When Girls Don’t Give Blowjobs Mon, 22 Jun 2015 09:07:16 +0000 Charlotte McKinney resorting to hand bras. So tragic. Won’t someone find this woman a top that covers her ample bosom? It’s a pressing issue, one we need to focus our energies on. Stop NASA, stop the desalination plant ideas, get scientists on a fabric design to save poor old McKinney. Her titties are gonna sunburn!

McKinney posed for Galore magazine. In other news, McKinney speaks.

On insecurities:

I’m actually super insecure. I can feel so bad about myself, especially if I start to pay attention to the kinds of stupid comments around the Internet. I have moments where I feel incredibly ugly, or fat, and it sucks, you know? I’ll usually try to keep a positive attitude, because I’m really so grateful for where I am, and the life I get to live, but I definitely have to work hard not to feel insecure.

But, don’t those big titties comfort you?

What about blowjobs?

Okay, so, tell me this. Don’t you feel that pretty girls generally don’t have to even have cool personalities? Isn’t that a thing? Like, ugly girls will be the ones that have to be funny, and the ones who are good at blowjobs?”

CM: Oh my God, I actually was thinking about this the other day—there are girls that I know that won’t even give blowjobs, and I guess it’s because they think they’re too hot, or something? It’s such bullshit.

McKinney. Pro blowjobs. This writer, now pro McKinney.

McKinney will blow you, then make you laugh:

I don’t want to be like that! I’m not interested in just being the hot girl. I’m really goofy, and I love laughing, and that’s such a big part of who I am.

McKinney may just be telling guys what they wanna here, but guess what, this erection says it’s working.

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Clearly Jill Bunny Needs to Workout More Fri, 19 Jun 2015 00:41:04 +0000 Don’t you hate it when out of shape girls run around on the beach? Uggh…I mean c’mon. Take these pics of fitness model Jill Bunny. It’s just…obscene, really. That fat hanging off of her thighs and ass.

Jill Bunny Shows Off Her Bikini Body In Miami

Put down the Ben n’ Jerry’s for once in your life. And she calls herself a ‘fitness model’? Where’s the six pack? Hidden under layers of chubby insulation. She’s trying to sell herself as a fitness coach, charging retarded people $1,000+ per year for her services. Join #TeamBunny if you crave turning out shlumpy like this whale.

Here are some of her Instagram pics if you want to be disgusted even more.

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Sharni Vinson Took Her Ass to Sydney Mon, 05 Jan 2015 18:42:09 +0000 You may not recall the name Sharni Vinson, but after these bikini pics of her, you won’t forget. Vinson stars in Dragon Blade, the new upcoming film with Jackie Chan, John Cusack and Adrien Brody. She plays someone named “The Queen” and since the movie takes place in ancient China and features Roman soldiers, don’t expect any ass shots like these. Unless ancient China features beaches that look exactly like Sydney, Australia.

And what happened to Adrien Brody? He hit it big for a nanosecond with The Pianist, got banned from SNL then starred in some Diet Coke commercials. Now he’s back to doing indie flicks and sword fights with 80’s stars.

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Katie Cassidy Shows Off Bikini Body in Miami Mon, 22 Dec 2014 19:13:32 +0000 Someone definitely works out. Or has good genes. Maybe both. Kate Cassidy, star of Arrow, is the daughter of 70s teen idol David Cassidy after all. He passed along the pretty gene to her. No idea about the ass gene though. That ass is all hers.

Fun fact: Arrow has filmed 69 episodes. Not gonna make the obvious joke about 69. Thirty-one more episodes and then Arrow can hit syndication. When that happens, Kate Cassidy will get PAID that syndication money and spend even more time in Miami flaunting her body. So you see, it’s a win-win for everyone.

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Porn Stars Halle Von and Dakota James Flaunt Their Bodies on Miami Beach Fri, 19 Dec 2014 18:35:31 +0000 Star roles in porn movies such as Carwash Orgy 4, Foot Fetish Daily 18, Cheating Girlfriends Like It Big 4 and All Fathers Sin probably won’t pay the bills forever. That’s why the universe gave us beaches. So that random ‘actresses’ such as Halle Von and Dakota James can slip into dental floss thongs and give impromptu photoshoots such as this one, and parlay that into mainstream success a la Sasha Grey. And you know what? Good for them, good for us and good for the porn industry. America wins.

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Miami Exists So Celebs Like Whitney Port Can Walk Around on Their Beaches Fri, 12 Dec 2014 20:55:45 +0000 Oh look, it’s Whitney Port in a totally spontaneous walk towards paparazzi on a Miami beach. Certainly, this wasn’t preplanned was it? Nevertheless, good job on working on that excellent body Whitney. Hope it lasts longer than your 15 minutes of fame.

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Karrueche Tran So Hurt By Chris Brown Breakup That She Works on Her Tan Thu, 11 Dec 2014 19:23:11 +0000 When you fight and breakup with Chris Brown, get ready to buy some concealer. Karrueche Tran couldn’t deal with the emotions of her recent big dustup with Brown, as evidenced by these hot, smiling photos of her on a Miami beach. Quite genius of her. Tans hide bruises really, really well.

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Whitney Port Is in a Bikini Thu, 04 Dec 2014 22:55:05 +0000 Whitney Port hasn’t been relevant in years but here she is in a bikini in Miami anyway. She’s a fashion designer now which means absolutely nothing this day and age. My neighbor could be a fashion designer. And she’s 8. All you need is a Shopify template and a dream. Possibly also a reality show. But TLC should be handing those out like Halloween candy.

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Ana Braga Don’t Need to Bragga About Her Body Wed, 26 Nov 2014 00:53:09 +0000 Ana Braga hit up Miami beach for the 10th time this year. Someone should really check her for skin cancer. *raises hand*

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Oh Hai, Bella Thorne Tue, 18 Nov 2014 00:21:46 +0000 Bella Thorne hit up Miami beach in a turquoise/black bikini and… wait. Bella Thorne is only 17?! Eh, close enough.

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