Former talk show host and current butterball, Rosie O’Donnell, revealed her exclusive tete-a-tete with President Bill Clinton. Supposedly, Clinton called her some years back to apologize for Lewinsky-gate. This man must have some swami-like effect on people. Their conversation turned O’Donnell into a bawling mess and more importantly, locked down the lesbian vote for years to come.

“And I said, ‘You know, listen, here’s the deal, dude. I’ve been disappointed by men my whole life. I loved JFK, my mother loved JFK, and you were the JFK to me. And you let me down, man. You killed me and that hurt me a lot, and when you hurt me, I don’t know, I didn’t expect that out of you and I thought you could do better for your wife, for the country and just in general.”

What’s amazing is that a former President, with all his responsibilities and duties, would initiate contact with Ms. Pillow Butt. Even lesbians look at each other and say “do we HAVE to keep her?” Does the gay vote hold that much power? Who’s next on Clinton’s list? Ellen Degeneres? At least, Ellen has a hot girlfriend. Ohhh.. I get it now. I’m onto you Mr. Clinton! A little girl on girl for you eh? Gonnna tap that booty and make it sleep! Uh huh! – Captain Swarthy

When Bill made Rosie Weep [Page Six]