In her last GOOP newsletter, Gwyneth Paltrow called Billy Joel (who’s divorcing Katie Lee), William Joel because she’s too classy to use nicknames. Paltrow wrote:

“The summer before last, a mutual friend brought the lovely Katie Lee Joel and her husband William over for dinner. Much to my delight, she brought a fresh batch of these cookies with her. I adore the contrast of the dark chocolate and the cherries – heaven.”

Billy’s rep, however, told Us: “No one calls him William.”

Gwyneth is like the fat kid on the playground who no one wants to talk to. Even after all the kids eat the cupcakes she brought, they still push her into a puddle and laugh at her when she starts screaming that she can’t swim.