In an interview on The View, Billy Ray Cyrus says he’s getting the gang back together. He’s dropping the divorce and with that, Miley Cyrus is talking to him again.

“I feel like we are the daddy and daughter that we were before Hannah Montana happened,” Billy said.

This after he told GQ that Hanna Montana destroyed his family and Miley was hanging with a bad crowd. And after Miley was caught smoking “salvia” from a bong.

Now they’re one big happy family again. Like nothing ever happened. Mickey Mouse must have put Billy’s balls in a vise and cranked the lever. When will Billy learn. Mouse beats mullet every time.

Billy Ray Cyrus told GQ that Hannah Montana destroyed his family and he regrets letting Miley Cyrus do the show. In retaliation, Miley forced Billy Ray to cancel an interview on The View.

“When Miley found out her father was scheduled to appear on ‘The View’ on Wednesday she went nuts,” a family friend tells me. “Only last week, Billy shot his mouth off in GQ, and now he planned to sit down with [Barbara and Whoopi] and talk more crap about his family. No way would Miley or her team let that happen.”

“At first Miley defended her dad, wanting to believe he had been tricked into saying bad things by the magazine,” an insider with knowledge of situation tells me. “Miley truly wanted to give her father the benefit of the doubt, goodness knows she’s said things she wishes she could take back. But after she found out about his media trip to New York, no more excuses could be made.”

In all fairness, when you see your daughter do stuff like this, this and this, you can’t help but schedule an interview with Barbara Walters and company to publicly air out your family’s dirty laundry. That’s what I did when my mom grounded me once. I went to the local paper and whined about it.

A couple days ago, Billy Ray Cyrus’ achey breaky heart did an interview with GQ where he expressed disappointment in the choices his daughter Miley has made and blamed her handlers for supporting it.

Miley read the interview and is pissed says a friend who sounds like one of her superfans on Twitter.

“To say Miley is angry is an understatement,” a friend of the Disney star tells me. “She’s furious that her own flesh and blood would make a private matter so public. Who does he think he is, Michael Lohan?”

While Miley hasn’t commented publicly about the article, friends tell me the actress-singer is mystified, saying it’s “unforgivable” that Billy Ray would randomly start biting the hand that fed him, as well as gab about his kid’s personal life.

“This isn’t what a father does,” my source says. “He never said a bad world about ‘Hannah Montana’ all those years it made millions for the family, and now that Miley has turned 18 and is making her own decisions, he does this. Unforgivable.”

There have also been rumblings that Miley and Billy Ray haven’t actually spoken since December, before his interview for the GQ article. “Miley has told him that if he wants to talk with her he has her number,” the friend reveals. “It’s been the same number she always has had.”

I’m not sure if Miley’s superfan remembers, but Billy Ray Cyrus had that one song that put him on the map. To say he’s ridden on the coattails of Miley’s success is a little insulting. Even more so when they compare him with that scumbag Michael Lohan. That’s like comparing Scarlett Johansson to Heidi Montag. The only thing they have in common is that they exist.

Here’s Fatty Cyrus in LA the other day.

Billy Ray Cyrus gave a lengthy interview with GQ and it was depressing. The whole thing is full of sadness and regret. It’s like an old man on his death bed recounting his failures.

Billy starts off by adamantly insisting he never made a dime off his daughter Miley Cyrus. He also clears the air saying Miley’s handlers used him as a scapegoat for Miley’s borderline retarded decisions.

On being the scapegoat
“Every time something happened in Miley’s career, every time the train went off the track, if you will—Vanity Fair,2 pole-dancing,3 whatever scandal it was—her people, or as they say in today’s news, her handlers, every time they’d put me… ‘Somebody’s shooting at Miley! Put the old man up there!’ Well, I took it, because I’m her daddy, and that’s what daddies do. ‘Okay, nail me to the cross, I’ll take it….’?”

On why he didn’t go to Miley’s 18th birthday party
“You know why I didn’t go? Because they were having it in a bar. It was wrong. It was for 21 years old and up. Once again all them people, they all wanted me to fly out so that then when all the bad press came they could say, ‘Daddy endorsed this stuff….’ I started realizing I’m being used. If I would have went out there I would have been right in the middle of all this stuff that’s going on right now with the bong. They’d be hanging it on my ass. I had the common sense… I said, ‘This whole thing’s falling apart up there and they just want to blame all of this stuff on you again.’ I’m staying out of it.”

On Miley’s photo scandal
Not long after the party, Cyrus heard that Miley’s people were looking for something. That maybe his daughter’s phone had been stolen. “And that was on the heels, the week previous, of some pictures from Spain4—a five- or seven-day period of just boom! There’s a train wreck happening and my daughter’s right in the middle of it.” Now he was hearing “stories of the handlers trying to make kids’ computers disappear and their phones disappear.” That’s all he knew. “I didn’t know what the footage was.”

On everything being David Lynch’s fault, yes, that David Lynch
“Were it not for David Lynch,” Cyrus asserts, “Miley would never have been Hannah Montana.”

On regretting Hannah Montana
“I hate to say it, but yes, I do. Yeah. I’d take it back in a second. For my family to be here and just be everybody okay, safe and sound and happy and normal, would have been fantastic. Heck, yeah. I’d erase it all in a second if I could.”

Tuesday is starting off great. This interview makes me want to kill myself. All I can imagine is Billy Ray Cyrus sitting alone in the dark on his hundred acre Tennessee property playing the guitar and weeping as he reads Miley Cyrus gossip on the internet, every once in a while affixing his gaze on a partially loaded gun on the table next to him.

Billy Ray Cyrus expressed his sadness on Twitter today after watching the video of Miley Cyrus smoking salvia. He didn’t get weepy, he just let out an e-sigh.

He tweeted, “Sorry guys. I had no idea. Just saw this stuff for the first time myself. Im so sad. There is much beyond my control right now.”

On the bright side, three hours beforehand, Jesus followed him on Twitter. Today must have been a roller coaster ride of emotions for him.

Both Us and Star say what really caused Tish and Billy Ray Cyrus’ breakup was Bret Michaels’ magical bandanna.

A source says Bret became close with the family when he and Miley released their Nothing to Lose duet in February. Tish and Bret soon began sleeping together. With the bandanna still firmly attached to Bret’s head, of course.

“Billy Ray was completely unaware of what was going on,” the source says of the “Achy Breaky Heart” crooner, who is seeking joint custody of their three minor children, Miley (who turns 18 Nov. 23), Braison, 16, and Noah, 10. (They have three older children from previous relationships.)

Though a rep for Michaels refutes the allegations, telling Us Weekly, “There has never been an affair or a fling,” and a rep for Tish also denies the dalliance, the Cyrus source insists, “It was a professional relationship that turned into something more.”

What gets me is Billy Ray Cyrus will forever be known for Achy Breaky Heart which was released more than 18 years ago. That’s sort of sad. Admittedly, it’s better than that other moniker everyone was going to give him, “Father of that godless whore Miley Cyrus.” It was a little long.

Semi-related Miley Cyrus picture is appropriate.

Billy Ray Cyrus and Tish Cyrus are calling it quits after 17 years of marriage. Oh, won’t someone tend to Billy’s achy breaky heart?

“As you can imagine, this is a very difficult time for our family,” they say in a statement. “We are trying to work through some personal matters. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers.”

My eyes bled when I read the two have five children including Miley Cyrus. Thank Jeebus most of them are way past puberty because you know how girls get sluttier when they come from broken homes? I wouldn’t want to be around Noah Cyrus when that goes down.

Billy Ray Cyrus, who’s actually a member of the Parents Television Council Advisory Board, is upset that the PTC went after the Glee photos in GQ. A source tells TMZ Billy is disappointed that the Council “has recently been spending all its time attacking people rather than promoting family television” and is getting fed up.

The worse endorsement an accused “borderline pedophilia” cover shoot could have is from Joe Simpson. The second worse is from this guy (bottom pic) whose kid dresses up like a tarted up hussy. Still, I’d listen to anyone one of these two before I take advice from the PTC. In fact, I’d do the opposite of whatever the PTC said out of principle. If the PTC said not to punch myself in the balls, I’d punch myself in the balls over and over again just to prove a point.

A couple days ago, a video showing Miley Cyrus grinding up against 44-year-old Adam Shankman at the after party for The Last Song was released. TMZ noted that several people shook their jowls in dissatisfaction and left the party. TMZ also noted a bunch of impressionable 10-year-olds were watching and taking copious notes.

Well, TMZ caught up with Miley’s dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, and asked him what he thought about the video. Billy said, “It’s what people her age do,” and added that his daughter was “having fun.”

Billy Ray seems like a cool guy, although a little out of touch with reality. Maybe I’m wrong, but it’s not often I see a 16-year-old grinding up against a 44-year-old. Unless that 16-year-old has a gun to her head.

Billy Ray Cyrus doesn’t see any problem with Miley Cyrus’ pole dance performance at the Teen Choice Awards this month. Cyrus, sort of dodging the subject, said, “You know what? I just think that Miley loves entertaining people. She loves singing and songwriting. I always tell her to love what you’re doing and stay focused for the love of the art and not worry so much about opinion. I give my kids a lot of freedom to make the art they wanna make, and make it in their own voice. I think it’s important.”

So what Billy Ray is trying to say is that Miley Cyrus pole dancing on top of an ice cream cart is art. Funny, that’s the same thing strippers tell themselves to rationalize shoving men’s faces into their bare breasts. Coincidentally, it’s also what I tell strippers to get them to sleep with me. “You’re an artist. The stage: your canvas. The thong you just shoved in my mouth: your paintbrush.” So, I guess in a way, Miley Cyrus is a lot like Ruby Sunshine from Cheetah’s who does amazing tricks with ping pong balls.

Jamie Foxx apologized on Tuesday for comments he made on his Sirius radio show where he said Miley Cyrus needed a gum transplant, make a sex tape and catch chlamydia from a bicycle seat. He’ll be disappointed to know Miley’s dad, Billy Ray, does not accept his apology.

Billy Ray showed up on The Bonnie Hunt show and said Foxx’s quips were “hurtful. There wasn’t nothing funny about it. And, quite frankly, I think if I said those things about his daughter, he might not find it so comedic.” Then he did a little jig and went “yuck, yuck, yuck” like a yokel. Afterward, he said, “Make fun of my daughter/sister again and I will end you.” Following that, he went “yipeee kiyaaa” while shooting pistols into the air.

This scene was recreated based off of stereotypes of course because I didn’t actually watch the episode. Does that stereotype even apply? Where is Billy Ray from anyway. I probably should have researched this a little more.

Soon to be 16 Miley Cyrus, currently in a relationship with a 20-year-old model, was given the birds and the bees speech by her dad. A friend of Billy Ray’s said Miley is bound to be experimenting on account of her raging hormones.

“Miley’s career is just rolling along now and getting bigger and bigger. Everyone loves her and she has a shot to have a career like JULIA ROBERTS or JENNIFER ANISTON or someone like that.”

So Miley has the chance to become a boring, ugly, untalented actress destined to be in failed relationships and suffer the humiliation of being dumped by her husband for arguably one of the hottest female actresses on the planet? I mean, she could star in a Leprechaun remake. At least she’d have that. Billy continued:

“I told her in no uncertain terms that her career would be over if something stupid were to happen and she would no longer be a role model for young girls, something she takes very seriously.”

I’m sure Billy Ray mentioned Jamie Lynn Spears during that conversation because the near real threat of living on a farm dining on possum as your Bud Light chugging boyfriend putters through the woods on his ATV shooting at squirrels with his bros would set any girl straight.

Three more days until NYE and by golly Tara Reid is still fugly.

1. Melissa Joan Hart is a giver. [Celebrity Smack]
2. Tara Reid’s ass is sexy. [Celebslam]
3. Keith Urban or Billy Ray Cyrus? [CityRag]
4. What? Black Christmas could be fun for gore hounds? [Pajiba]
5. Miss Nevada is still a whore. [Evil Beet]