There must be a rule in poker that you can’t have your hot girlfriend stand behind you distracting the other players with a see-through top with no bra. It’s kind of hard for people to concentrate when someone’s penis keeps making a thumping sound from hitting the underside of the table. [WCP]

A criminal investigation is being launched into the fight Brad Garrett had with a photog last night. Garrett left Dan Tana’s restaurant when paparazzi started snapping photos of the lumbering giant. Eventually, Garrett had enough and hit one of the photog’s camera. Garrett then tried to instigate a fight. There were no takers but TMZ says one paparazzo called him a “tall faggot.”

It’s a good idea no one volunteered to fight this guy. He’s pretty tall and normal tactics like kicking him in the nuts won’t work. His crotch is six feet off the ground. Your best bet is to go with pure boxing because you’d be going one on one with his genitals. You could get maybe three or four good shots in before his big ass hand shoots down from the heavens and grabs you by the head like one of those stuffed animal claw games.

Last month, Brad Garrett said to a black photog taking his picture, “I didn’t know there were black people in Malibu. Go back to where you came from.” Yesterday, the same black photog from FAME called him on his joke which ended with the 6’8” monster from Everybody Loves Raymond mistakingly smacking the camera of a TMZ photog. After, the black photog went from asking him why he’s so racist to asking him why he’s so angry.

When you’re 6’8” you can do pretty much whatever you want. Smack a camera? Sure. Kick a guy in the balls? Thank you sir, may I have another. What are they going to do? Hit you with their little fists? Okay. I may not be 6’8”, but I can still relate. Just like Brad, people look up to me. In their minds, I’m 7’2”.