Zoe Saldana’s beard contract with Bradley Cooper has finally ended. A source confirms to Us Weekly that they’ve split after three months of dating and neither of them are too sad about it. “She and Bradley weren’t superserious at all,” says the source.

Dating Bradley Cooper must be super annoying. Always so charming and seducing you with French and wrapping you in his strong arms. Am I right, ladies?

The first Hangover was made for $35 million with each lead actor getting under a million. It went on to gross almost half a billion. With Hangover II, the headliners negotiated a deal for $5 million each plus back-end compensation. That movie went on to gross $581 million worldwide. Naturally, the studios want to milk this cow dry so there will be a Hangover III and Warners will have no choice but to pay Ed Helms, Bradly Cooper and Zach Galifianakis the $15 million each they’re asking for.

For the third film, the lead actors, all represented in negotiations by CAA (with agent Jason Heyman taking the lead) and are presenting a united front. (In fact, CAA also reps writer-director Todd Phillips and writer Craig Mazin.)

Warners hopes the next film, a Los Angeles-based story that will deviate from the forgotten-debauchery formula of the first movies, can shoot this summer and be ready for a Memorial Day 2013 release. The Hollywood Reporter

Are they sure about deviating from the same formula? Because you know how people love seeing the same thing over and over again just in a different form. Change is scary.

Bradley Cooper was named 2011′s Sexiest Man Alive by PEOPLE magazine. Geez, PEOPLE is really going downhill when all you need to become sexiest man alive is to be good looking, a sough after actor, rich, fluent in French and able to make ladies drop their panties with just one look. No one has any standards anymore. Anyway, Bradley sounds really humble or really patronizing.

“I think it’s really cool that a guy who doesn’t look like a model can have this [title],” says the Hangover actor, 36. “I think I’m a decent-looking guy. Sometimes I can look great, and other times I look horrifying.” PEOPLE

My mistake. I must be thinking about a different Bradley Cooper. The one who doesn’t look like a model and isn’t always handsome. But why didn’t they put the real winner’s picture on the cover if that’s the case? Odd.

Bradley Cooper and a woman believed to be Jennifer Lopez were spotted out on a date Saturday night. Previously, the two were seen dining together at Per Se in what was later deemed a “business meeting.”

“After their date in New York, Bradley and Jennifer stayed in touch,” says a source close to Lopez.

The source also says: “She does like his attention, and it makes her feel good that he seems so into her. She has a fun time with Bradley and he makes her laugh.”

Adds another source: “She likes him.” PEOPLE

Whichever rep set up this date for Jennifer Lopez is a genius. Bradley Cooper is a step up from Marc Anthony. Cooper’s redeeming qualities include being attractive, a rising actor and speaking fluent French. Marc Anthony’s redeeming quality includes not turning into a goblin at night.

If all that whispering is true and Bradley Cooper is gay, then his people have done a damn fine job making it seem otherwise. Cooper and Scarlett Johansson, who co-starred in He’s Just Not That Into You back in 2009, were spotted at Provocateur nightclub in NYC.

Bradley and Scarlett arrived with some friends including model Cheyenne Tozzi around 2 a.m. A few drinks later, Bradley stopped flirting with Cheyenne and turned his attention to Scarlett. “The duo were hand in hand and more than flirty by the end of the night!,” says Life & Style.

“They were here with a group of friends and ordered champagne,” says a second eyewitness. “The group was having a good time together.”

A rep for Johansson maintains that the pair are “just friends and have been for years.” — NYDN

Bradley Cooper is a handsome, charming actor who speaks fluent French. Of course he’s going to bang Scarlett Johansson. Having ovaries and trying to resist that would be like trying to resist the gravitational pull from Christina Aguilera’s new found mass. It’s just not going to happen.

Both Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lopez are single so why not help each other out career-wise? That sounded like the plan as the two were spotted at Per Se in NYC having a “romantic” dinner.

Located in Columbus Circle, the acclaimed restaurant is just the spot for a quiet but luxurious tete-a-tete. “People come here for privacy,” the host added.

“They were here for a while,” another staffer at Columbus Circle noted. — Us

However, a different source tells PEOPLE that the dinner was strictly business. What business could they have together? The source explains they were “in discussions regarding a project.” Then the source made a hole with one hand and furiously thrust his index finger in and out of it.

Bradley Cooper went on a French talk show and you’d think he’d give us a reason to make fun of him as he stumbled through the interview trying to impress the host with what little French he knew but apparently the opposite happened.

So not only is he rich, good looking and famous but he also speaks fluent French. Does he come Louis Vuitton purses too or does it just taste like chocolate?

According to Life&Style, Bradley Cooper and Olivia Wilde have already gone on two dates which means they’re totally doing it. One of the dates was at the Hangover Part II premiere afterparty at the Boom Boom Room in NYC which L&S got pictures from.

“Olivia was Bradley’s date,” an eyewitness tells Life & Style. “He was always taking her hand or putting his hand on her lower back, it was really sweet. He took care of her all night.”

“They were definitely together,” adds the eyewitness. “At one point, they even wanted some alone time and hiked up the stairs to the roof, but they had trouble getting there!”

“They left together at 12:15,” the eyewitness says. “They seemed really comfortable together.” A second eyewitness confirms the pair got into the car together after leaving the party.

Put his hand on her lower back and took care of her. What is this? A romance novel? *Grows King Leonidas beard* This… is… HOLLYWOOD. *Kicks stuffed animal into laundry basket* Well, NYC, but you know what I mean. This is the land of debauchery. If Bradley Cooper wasn’t humping the air and pointing to his crotch the entire night then there has to be something wrong with him.

Proving nothing is sacred in Hollywood, they’re doing The Crow for the umpteenth time. The original, one of the best movies ever, starred the late Brandon Lee, son of Bruce Lee, who was killed during filming. This remake will star Bradley Cooper who probably won’t come out of his trailer unless he has a manicure. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo (28 Weeks Later) is attached to direct.

In the adaptation of the gritty black-and-white indie comic by artist James O’Barr, Cooper will play a rock musician who is murdered while trying to save his fiancée from thugs. He is resurrected by supernatural forces and seeks revenge. The role was originally played by Brandon Lee, who was killed by a freak accident during production in 1993.

Instead of rolling in his grave, I hope Brandon Lee high kicks his way out and karate chops whatever execs thought this would be a good idea in the face.

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore released a few viral videos starring Sean Penn, Justin Timberlake, Bradley Cooper, Jamie Foxx, Isaiah Washington and Eva Longoria in an effort to bring attention to the problem of child sex slave trading.

This would be great if the videos made any sense. But they don’t. At all. They start out with a celebrity being a manly man to the XXXTREME and end with the slogan “Real Men Don’t Buy Girls”.

None of which makes me want to stand up against child sex trafficking. However, it does make me want to learn how to open a beer bottle with a tv remote. How did Jamie Foxx do that? Someone please tell me how to subscribe to his newsletter.

A few more spots after the jump.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it. Lemony Snicket broke up with Bradley Cooper because he was an infidel. I mean because of his infidelity. Star magazine claims Bradley Cooper was having affairs with Sandra Bullock and Jessica Biel during his relationship with Renee Zellweger and that there is photographic evidence. Quick, someone call the pixel police.

One of the pictures shows the actor leaving a hotel minutes apart from one of the beauties and an eyewitness told Star they looked “flustered and unkempt.”

Reps for the couple didn’t comment, but an insider tells Star, “Bradley has been looking for a way out of this relationship for months.”

Not like the guy couldn’t have been banging another chick from the same hotel. Maybe it was a coincidence. Maybe he was just up there eating ice cream, talking about PMS and cramping and giving each other mani-pedis. Let me ask you this, did his hands look real nice and soft when he left? Uh, oh yea. Of course that’s related to what I just said. Heh heh. Why would you think otherwise?

Lemonface has already carved “Zellweger + Cooper” into the tree outside her house so obviously she’s planning on marriage. Page Six says,

First, Zellweger was photographed last week by Star magazine at the Carolina Herrera boutique in West Hollywood, where a big rack of wedding gowns was wheeled by. After browsing for two hours, she left with a garment bag. “She just kept smiling when asked if she’s getting married,” the weekly reports. Second, she and Cooper had lunch with her parents yesterday at the Tribeca Grand. Could it be he asked her father for her hand in marriage?

A lot of people think Bradley Cooper is gay but I don’t see it. Maybe he’s just a good looking guy that dresses well and loves spray tan. A lot of straight guys are like that. Ricky Martin, for example. Oh… wait.

[Fame]

Christ. How creepy is the interviewer? It looked like at any moment his mouth was going to split open like a snake to eat one of the actors. He’s like one of those people that would creepily place their hand on Jessica Biel’s knee.