On the Thursday before her death, Brandy and Monica were filming an E! News interview when Whitney interrupted and handed Brandy a note. Two days later, Whitney died. Now E! and everyone else wants to know what was on that note. The problem is, Brandy won’t tell. Aww, c’mon! What’s in the bawwwx?!

When E! asked her about the note, Brandy simply said, “I’m going to just not say what it was and just keep it to myself for my own personal reasons.”

So Brandy won’t tell people what Whitney’s final words were. This must make her feel real special. Ooooh, look at me, I’m the last one Whitney really talked to.

Regardless, here are my three guesses as to what the note said:

1. Something inane like “F**k yo couch!”
2. Whitney Houston’s grocery list because she confused Brandy with her assistant.
3. “Got crack?”

Sonja Norwood, mother of Brandy and Ray J (Kim Kardashian’s ex-lover), filed a lawsuit yesterday claiming when Kim Kardashian was employed as Brandy’s stylist, she was given an Amex card to use on one purchase. Sonja says Kim gave the card to the rest of the Kardashian family (Khloe, Kourtney, Robert Jr.) who spent a total of $62,793.83 in unauthorized charges in 2006 and $57,841.82 in 2007. A total of $120,635.65. Sonja says Kim was even brazen enough to use the card at her own store, Dash and Smooch. The Kardashians responded with this statement.

“The charges against the Kardashians are meritless. Both Kim and Khloe were employed by the Norwoods and never used their credit cards without their express authorization. The Kardashian family looks forward to proving the absurdity of these claims in a court of law.”

It’s baffling why Sonja didn’t call Amex to freeze the card. Last time I used my card in a different city, they blocked my access. What a bunch of jerks. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have your card declined at a strip club? Instead of stuffing $1 bills into their g-string, I had to stuff McDonald’s gift cards.

According to a lawsuit obtained by TMZ, parents of the woman killed in the fatal accident caused by Brandy are suing her for $50 million. They allege,

“Defendant Brandy Norwood was driving recklessly in the freeway when her car collided with Awatif Aboudihaj’s car.”

A year in jail and $50 million poorer when you get out. It’s like a bad dream or an episode of 21 Jump Street except this time there’s no dreamy Johnny Depp or that Vietnamese guy. Also, this is real life which means Brandy is royally screwed.

The LA CHP has recommended Brandy be charged with misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter for the fatality that occurred when she didn’t brake fast enough for traffic. If charged, she could face one year in jail and a $1,000 fine. She was not under the influence of drugs or alcohol and wasn’t distracted when the incident occurred.

“The office is currently reviewing the case and determining whether the evidence warrants the filing of a misdemeanor charge of vehicular manslaughter.”

Jail isn’t so bad. You get a bed, food, communal showers, excercise, the occasional shanking, a little rape here and there. Just think of it as going to a resort where you get to meet a lot of colorful people and make new friends. Your social life will be better than ever.

On the morning of December 30, 2006, Brandy was driving her Land Rover on the 405 in LA and failed to brake for traffic. She ended up rear-ending an ’05 Toyota which in turn hit an ’89 Toyota. The ’05 Toyota then slid sideways into the center divider and ended up being hit by an ’88 Acura. The driver of Toyota was rushed to the hospital in critical condition where she died the next day. Brandy did not suffer any injuries and there was no evidence of DUI.

There’s no explanation why she didn’t just put her foot on the brake pedal. Maybe she was just rocking out to the sound of her own voice on the radio and didn’t notice. Maybe when the police and ambulance arrived she was still buckled in with eyes shut tight lip-syncing to the radio and weaving her head around doing her best impersonation of Little Richard. God, it’s the 405. Your foot should always be on the brakes.