Jesus Luz ditches Madonna

The Chicago Sun-Times says Jesus Luz dumped Madonna after realizing the 100 year age difference between them precluded them from having the same interests.

Jessica and Tony are over

Tony Romo knows that if you’re going to dump someone, you best do it when your significant other is at their most vulnerable or before they force you into doing something super embarrassing.

Paris Hilton is single

Remember when Paris Hilton hinted at maybe settling down with her boyfriend of six months Doug Reinhardt?

Miley Cyrus is single

Good news for Justin Gaston. He’ll no longer have to worry about being prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law because, despite the fact he has a shirt woven by God, Miley Cyrus broke up with him.

Ha ha, you suck, Audrina Patridge

Audrina Patridge almost had it all: More seasons of The Hills and an up-and-coming actor/boyfriend in Chris Pine (Captain Kirk in Star Trek).