Mary-Kate Olsen is single

For those of you that still hold out hope that Mary-Kate Olsen will magically turn into Megan Fox levels of hot just like you hoped she would when you stumbled upon the website with the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen 18th birthday countdown clock, I’ve got good news.


Jesus Luz ditches Madonna

The Chicago Sun-Times says Jesus Luz dumped Madonna after realizing the 100 year age difference between them precluded them from having the same interests.

Jessica and Tony are over

Tony Romo knows that if you’re going to dump someone, you best do it when your significant other is at their most vulnerable or before they force you into doing something super embarrassing.

Paris Hilton is single

Remember when Paris Hilton hinted at maybe settling down with her boyfriend of six months Doug Reinhardt?

Miley Cyrus is single

Good news for Justin Gaston. He’ll no longer have to worry about being prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law because, despite the fact he has a shirt woven by God, Miley Cyrus broke up with him.