Kevin Federline isn’t above cheating to win Celebrity Fit Club. After finding out that it was definite he was going to appear on the show, Kevin began “putting on even more weight on purpose” to make his weight loss even more dramatic. Turns out one of the side-effects of deliberately overeating is delusion.

“He thinks that if he goes on the show, loses a ton of weight, and seems really likeable, he’ll get more deals afterward,” the friend said. “The way he sees it, he could have another show after ‘Fit Club,’ and that would open the door to working on music again, maybe even a fashion line.”

Fatterline needs to take it one step at a time. Literally and figuratively. Before he begins work on his master plan, he has to first figure out how to walk three steps without wheezing, then clutching his heart and collapsing in pain.

Since he’s an opportunist, a rep for VH1 confirms that Kevin Federline has agreed to join Celebrity Fit Club. Kevin’s ex, Shar Jackson, will also be joining. As you may have noticed, Federline, who used to be a backup dancer, has ballooned up to 200+ pounds in recent months. The only dancing he does now are with his fingers across a fried chicken breast to try and seduce it into his mouth. That’ll all change with Celebrity Fit Club, however, when they trick him into running on a treadmill with a bacon wrapped Oreo attached to a rope and stick.

Dustin Diamond is a friendly guy. Just watch this clip from Celebrity Fit Club and see how he soothes the angry man yelling at him. Yea, nice and calm like a Barry Manilow album. I could have sex to this. By the way, I’ve never seen this show so I have no idea what’s going on. I just like watching people yell at Screech.