One major difference between LA and Texas is Texas doesn’t give a damn if you’re a celebrity. One week ago, Chace Crawford was caught with a joint in the parking lot of a bar in Texas. He’s now being charged with misdemeanor possession of marijuana. The misdemeanor includes a maximum sentence of six months and a $2,000 fine.

Had this been in LA, the cops would have have told Chace to quit being stingy on the weed and pass it. They would have let him off with a warning and a bro-hug.

Chace Crawford of Gossip Girl was arrested this morning in Plano, Texas for possession of marijuana.

Crawford was found with under 2 ounces of weed and charged with a misdemeanor. He was caught in the parking lot of Ringo’s Pub. Cops found one unlit joint on him and his friend. He’s now out on bail.

O-M-G! One unlit joint? Put this Pablo Escobar away for life. What a menace to society. Gosh. You think you know someone and then bam! You find out they’re a degenerate junky. No doubt if you search Chace’s apartment you’ll find a meth lab and a bunch of dead hookers. For shame!

Jessica Simpson is upset to hear Tony Romo has sacked another blonde. Get it? Sacked. I’m athletic and such. I don’t write about the intimate details of a celebrity’s life from my parent’s basement at all. I’m out living the athletic dream with sports stats and kangol hats.

Us Magazine reports Tony Romo is currently doing Chace Crawford’s little sister, Candice, who is also known as Miss Missouri 2008. Jessica has every right to be upset as she was formerly known as Miss Stuff-Myself-Into-Mom-Pants-After-Deep-Fried-Snickers-Binges of 2008. Sadly, her crown has been taken by Mischa Barton for 2009.

To add insult to injury, Us Magazine politely words that Tony and Candice’s genitals are just canoodling.

“They’re not officially dating, but they are having an intimate relationship.”

Jessica couldn’t bear the thought of Tony with another woman. That is, until visions of melted chocolate ice cream sandwich crumbs smeared over the crevices of her cellulite with spilled twinkie cream filling covering her naturally Restalyne-filled lips entered her mind. When asked for comment of Tony’s newest relationship, she simply replied “foondduuueeee”.

I think that's supposed to be a shoe on your head, not a surfboard, Chace.

A sad day for fans of Gossip Girl. The honeymoon is over for Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick. Chace is moving out of his apartment that he shares with costar Ed. They’ve lived together ever since they were cast together, but Chace is tired of Westwick always using his product and leaving pieces of bacon in it. Time to move on.

Chace has rented a penthouse in the luxe Dwell 95 building in NYC’s Financial District where he’ll no longer have to suffer the indignity of stepping on week old pizza and will be able to wax his chest in peace.

A report from the NYDN say Chace Crawford, Zac Efron and Jared Leto, poster poys for the recent boy bang trend, have all shed their frontal locks in favor of less gay hairstyles.

/Looks at Super Cuts receipt
//Looks in mirror

GOD DAMNIT!

Chace Crawford never believed in love at first sight. That is until he saw Sebastian Stan at the afterparty for Milk. Swoon.

As a followup to the Lindsay flirting with Chace Crawford story, here are a few more details based off an eyewitness account. I didn’t really verify this so take this for what you will.

According to a source, Chace Crawford, Taylor Momsen and others were engaged in conversation when an arm comes out of nowhere and grabs Chace’s hair, tussles it up and disappears. He notices Lindsay hiding behind someone, laughs and finishes his conversation. “She had that look in her eyes, as if she really liked the guy. She would mess his hair up, then turn around a bunch of times. At times they would be next to each other laughing and whispering.”

What’s up with that Lindsay? How could you use that special move you and Sam perfected in the bedroom on someone you barely knew? This act of betrayal will likely not go unanswered. Expect Sam to use Lindsay’s most beloved move. I believe it’s called the “hold my hair, I think I’m gonna puke.”

Chace Crawford is always plagued by persistent rumors that he’s gay. I don’t get why. So what he has perfectly manicured eyebrows and he lives with his Gossip Girl co-star Ed Westwick. Straight men do that, right? Anyway, his latest waxy Zac Efron inspired appearance in V Man Magazine should put those rumors to rest.

Photos below do include Chace but are cut off in the thumbs for whatever reason.

Sometimes lesbian Lindsay Lohan has been relentlessly texting Gossip Girl star Chace Crawford. Lindsay has been calling him up to four times a day and sending “provocative” texts ever since the two exchanged numbers at the Diesel XXX Rock party in New York. Friends are advising Chace to stay as far away from Lindsay as possible because Sam will have to crawl out of whichever sewer she lives in to put the hurt on him. And believe me Smigel, I mean, Sam does not like to be disturbed.

“Lindsay took a real shine to Chace and was pretty much throwing herself at him all night.

“She was standing in such a way that some part of her body was always touching him – at one point hip to hip.

“She was also giving him the filthiest looks, whispering in his ear, and turning everything he said into an innuendo.

Isn’t it obvious? Just like Superman is powered by the Sun, Lindsay is powered by dick. She needs to be refueled every once in a while or else her whore powers will wither away. Without them, she may as well be dead.

This picture of Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl sucking on a bottle of Budweiser clearly proves he isn’t gay. There’s a girl in it, see? And she’s standing right next to him!

Photo: ONTD

Producers have been trying to get as much publicity as they can for Gossip Girl so take this for what it’s worth. NYDN by way of an insider claims the show’s “break-out star,” Penn Badgley, isn’t too fond of being overshadowed by Chace Crawford and if that wasn’t enough, what happened at the Met’s Costume Institute ball was the nail in the coffin. In short, it involved Tom Cruise and yes, it sounds kind of gay.

Both Penn and Chace walked the red carpet, but it was Chace who was mobbed – and (OMG) invited to George Clooney’s after-party at Bungalow 8. To make matters worse, the king and queen of Hollywood, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, gushed all over him.

“Tom and Katie went up to Chace to say how much they love him and the show. They didn’t talk to any of the other cast members,” our spy snitched. “Penn didn’t get any love.”

Here is where I would joke that Tom Cruise proposed Chace have a threesome with Katie and him and then with him and him and then with just him, but I won’t because I’m above that and also, that’s probably what happened.

I never thought I’d be reading, much less, quoting something from CosmoGIRL. After this, you’ll see why I probably never will again. For their upcoming issue, Jessica Alba, Pete Wentz and Chace Crawford talked about love and relationships. Alba started it off with some dating advice which no girl should ever heed.

“Most guys, especially when they’re younger, really are only after one thing,” she says. “To all the girls out there, I don’t want to say, ‘Don’t give your heart to somebody like that,’ But wait at least a good year. You can be in a relationship and do some things, have fun, get to know each other – but don’t give them everything.

“That was something I did at a young age,” she adds, “fell in love and gave him my everything, and I was left with nothing. It took me a long time to put myself back together, and I wish someone would have told me back them to hang on to some of myself.”

A year to have sex, huh? That’s 364 days longer than I’d prefer it to take. Unless, those 365 days are filled with bjs. Then that’s something I could live with.

Next up is Pete Wentz. If you expected him to say something retarded again, then you’d be correct in your assumption. Pete says he likes the “finals week” look on a girl where it looks like they’ve just woken up. He also says sexiness comes from confidence which is really weird because I thought it came from big boobs and an unrelenting desire to f’ me. Also weird is the fact that Pete feels emasculated when Ashlee Simpson wears heels because she ends up being taller than him. I thought the fact that he enjoys kissing guys would be even more emasculating, but apparently to him, doing that is a sign of manliness. Even manlier if there’s tongue. Touching the other person’s penis while doing it? That’s a He-Man level of manly!

Finally, all Chace Crawford said was, “I’m ready for a girlfriend.” Uh, that’s great dude. Thanks for letting me know. I’ll be sure to write that down in my diary. “Dear diary. Some kid told me he was ready for a girlfriend today. Was he hitting on me?”