Cher showed up at the premiere of Burlesque in Madrid wearing a see-through shirt on top of a see-through bra. What kind of GD outfit is this? If I wanted to see a 64-year-old’s nipples, I’d go to the strip club where your mom works and throw dollar bills at her. Hey-yo!

Cher, hyping her upcoming Vegas shows, spoke with Oprah about an affair she had with Tom Cruise when he was only 23 and breaking into the industry. Their filming schedules ended their short-lived romance, but Cher admits she “was crazy about him.” They would eventually continue on their separate paths. Tom Cruise would go on to marry Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes. Cher would go on to be old.

“He was shy,” she said. “He said he felt like such a boob in school and nobody talked to him. We went on a date once for dinner in a New York restaurant and the waitress was from his old school.

“He told me she never talked to him back in school, but now he was recognised he got all her attention.

“It could have been a great big romance because I was crazy for him.”

Cher was 40 at the time which makes this even more gross. I’m blissfully ignorant about old people, but isn’t it disturbing to have to remove their diapers before you have sex with them?