Sources say Chris Brown spent more than two hours at Haze at Aria last Saturday “charming a group of young women and buying multiple bottles of Champagne.” Though it seems they were just using him for his alcohol and curious about his fame because they soon moved on to the next table of guys to siphon drinks from. A witness said Chris wasn’t too happy about that.

“Brown got visibly upset when the girls moved on to the next table. Brown approached the guys in the group [at the next table] and started getting visibly agitated. Brown stood up, and looked like he was about to start a fight when club security stopped him.”

While Brown’s rep insisted the account was “not true,” our witness continued: “He got in the guy’s face and was cursing at him, and saying, ‘Are these girls with you or with me?’ The guy was stunned by it. Things were close to getting extremely ugly. Then Chris’ security and club security escorted him out.”

A Haze rep confirmed there was an incident involving Brown but declined to go into detail. The club rep said, “Haze has a zero tolerance policy for violence.” Page Six

Of course Chris’ security and club security stepped in. He was about to get his ass kicked. Punching a girl he outweighed a hundred times in the face seems to have given him a false sense of confidence in his fighting skills.

Everybody was stupefied and a lot of head shaking was going on when Rihanna collaborated with Chris Brown on two tracks, one of which was a remix of Birthday Cake. This was followed by rumors that they were and had been hooking up again.

Well, whether or not that happened, consider it over now that Chris Brown’s remix of Kanye West’s Theraflu is out. Chris raps,

Don’t fuck with my old bitches
Like a bad fur
Every industry nigga did had her
Trick or treat like a pumpkin just to smash her
Bitches breaking codes
But I’m the password

These lyrics have led to a 21st century break-up and the ultimate sign that their relationship can’t be saved. The mutual unfollowing of each other on Twitter.

Rihanna tweeted, “Aw, poor dat #neaux1currrrr,” before unfollowing Brown. While Chris, tweeted, “Assumptions! I didn’t say any names so if u took offense to it then its something you feel guilty about,” before unfollowing Rihanna.

Granted, half of those lyrics are indecipherable. I’m pretty sure most rap songs are 50% what rappers want to say and 50% words that sound cool. It’s like the lyrical version of holding a gun sideways.

Rihanna tweeted the above photo of Cinammon Rice Cakes dressed up in hooped earrings and sunglasses with the caption, “Ima make you my bitch,” almost a week ago. Seems random and innocent enough and is actually related to a lyric from her “Birthday Cake” remix which goes, “Come and get it. Sweeter than a rice cake, cake worth sipping.”

But if you really want to read into this, it may be Rihanna mocking Chris Brown’s girlfriend Karrueche Tran who’s half Vietnamese. At least that’s what Bossip thought at first.

Granted, maybe it has nothing to do with that. Maybe Rihanna just likes anthropomorphizing food. Sort of like Jessica Simpson does. “Get in muh belly,” she’ll usually say to a rack of ribs.

Chris Brown is facing a “Robbery by Sudden Snatching” charge after stealing a woman’s cellphone outside Cameo club in South Beach on February 19.

The woman, Christal Spann, said she and friends followed Brown and rapper Tyga outside the club and took a photo of him with her iPhone 4s after Brown got into his Bentley. Chris Brown got angry, reached through the window, snatched her cellphone and said, “B**ch you ain’t going to put that on no website.” Then he rolled up his window and drove off.

Nes Grez, an alleged witness to the incident, said, “Why does he have to be so mean? It was just a fan. It was sad, man. It sucked. It really sucked. I felt bad for the girl. I mean I would’ve done the same thing. I would’ve taken one of his pictures.”

The rationality of Chris Brown is truly amazing. He doesn’t want a picture of him in a car to end up on a website so he steals the cellphone that took the picture. And he didn’t think maybe a story about him jacking someone’s cellphone was going to end up on the website instead? This must be why he loves Twitter. He only has to think as far as 140 characters and there’s a delete button just in case.

Getting into Twitter beefs with Chris Brown is the cool new thing to do. The latest quasi-celebrity to jump on the bandwagon is WWE’s CM Punk. CM — may I call you CM? — didn’t want people to forget Chris punched Rihanna in the face a hundred times so a few days ago he tweeted, “I would like @chrisbrown fight somebody that can defend themselves. Me curb stomping that turd would be a #wrestlemania moment.”

Chris, who’s made a habit of tweeting stupid responses and then deleting them, responded with “@CMpunk needs more followers. He’s such a leader! Not to mention the roids hes on has made it utterly impossible for him pleasure a women.”

Which led to CM responding with a video in which he says he’s straight-edge and not a woman beater which then led to Chris tweeting again, “@cmpunk the video u just posted was cute! It’s so funny how defensive u are.” Adding, “And the fact that I really don’t know who you are and could give a [expletive] is the funny part! I really hope this 15 minutes of fame is paying you for the long run becuz music last forever! Wrestlers come and go according to ratings!” Then, “I miss the real wrestlers! ( Hacksaw Jim duggan, Brett the hitman heart, coco beware, rowdy roddy piper) #Notnopunks. THE ROCK #Notnopunks.”

Punk simply replied with “#aintnowomanbeater.”

Well, that went on 5 tweets longer than it needed to. Is there a WWE event coming up or something? If Chris Brown shows up on WWE to fake fight CM Punk, I’m going to punch both of them in the face.

You’d think Chris Brown’s current girlfriend, Karrueche Tran, would be sort of pissed when she heard Chris sing, “Girl, I wanna f**k you right now/Been a long time, I’ve been missing your body,” on Rihanna’s Birthday Cake (Remix) but you’d be wrong. She doesn’t get caught up in what other girls her boyfriend is banging like some of those other women. She’s just happy they’re together. Wait, stop groaning. Let the fame whore explain.

“Karrueche isn’t stupid, and she has told friends that they have an open relationship. She never asks him about Rihanna, ever. Chris will take several days to call her back at times, and that is OK with Karreuche. She doesn’t pressure or hound Chris, it’s just not what she is about. She recognizes that they are both young, and she isn’t going to let the fact Chris is spending time with his ex-girlfriend come between what they have,” a source close to the situation tells us. Radar Online

Of course Karrueche isn’t going to pressure or hound Chris about the other girls he sees. Just look at how many times the last girl got punched in the face when she asked about that.

Not like Karrueche has to worry about being dumped any time soon either. An insider says while Chris and Rihanna have hooked up no more than half a dozen times in the past year, it’s unlikely they’ll ever get back together. “Rihanna doesn’t care if she were to get public backlash if they were to reconcile, she is the one calling the shots now, which she likes. Rihanna knows that if they were to get back together, she wouldn’t be able to maintain that strong role, and Chris would lose interest. They are both very young, and Rihanna would never be able to trust Chris because he has problems staying faithful.” No, this relationship doesn’t sound dysfunctional at all.

Now that Rihanna and Chris Brown have started talking to each other on Twitter again (Chris wished Rihanna a happy birthday and Rihanna said thanks), they released both of the collaborations they did together.

The first features Chris Brown lending his vocals to a remix of Rihanna’s Birthday Cake. I assume cake is a euphemism in this case because even Christina Aguilera doesn’t like cake that much (though if she did, it would probably go like this: “nom nom nom nom nom nom”). Birthday Cake (Remix) pretty much let’s everyone know Chris still wants to bang Rihanna what with lines like, “Girl, I wanna f**k you right now/Been a long time, I’ve been missing your body.”

The second collaboration has Rihanna lending her vocals to Chris Brown’s Turn Up the Music. This one let’s people know Rihanna has probably forgiven Chris. She sings, “Turn up the music cause I feel a lil’ turned on… Turn up the music, fill me up and take me down.”

“Hey, look at me, look at me.” Next time Chris beats Rihanna, you can be sure the paramedics are going to mutter, “I told you so,” under their breath when they put her on the stretcher.

I got to give it to Chris Brown. If the worst thing he did to these rats of the sky was mock them with his own cawing seagull impression, that shows considerable restraint. Or maybe he just reserves punching things in the face for uppity women.

Also, I think he tried chasing them but tripped when his shorts fell around his ankles. Michael Jackson probably looked down from heaven and said, “Mm, yea, that’s good.”

Chris Brown tried to force guests at Rihanna’s birthday party to sign NDA’s so we wouldn’t know he was there. Guess how that turned out?

TMZ says before Chris entered Rihanna’s birthday party at Hearst Mansion in Beverly Hills, he sent his henchmen in to get everyone’s signatures. Not everyone signed but Chris went in anyway and spent the majority of the evening up on Rihanna, holding hands and talking.

Brown’s rep countered that only workers were asked to sign NDAs as well as people who were caught videotaping/snapping a pic of Chris. Which is exactly how you want to handle confidentiality agreements. After the fact.

Regardless, the bigger news was Rihanna’s birthday cake which featured her riding a gigantic spliff. This chick must love to get high. That cake must be what she imagines heaven to be.

Just to be clear, there’s a 90% chance this is a total fabrication because not even Chris Brown is this dumb. Anyway, an “attractive brunette” told Us Weekly that Chris Brown approached her at the Lasio Professional Haire Care suite Grammy gift lounge and hit on her with, “Can I get your number? I promise I won’t beat you.” How reassuring.

“He and his friends laughed, then one yelled, ‘That’s his new line!’ Ugh! I wanted to throw up!”

Chris Brown’s rep didn’t flat out deny the story but said, “I’d be surprised if Chris said something that stupid.” And who would? But if this is true, at least he didn’t say, “lol, j/k” right after because that would be pretty awkward.

In related news, Miranda Lambert fired back at Chris Brown on Twitter. On  Monday, Lambert expressed outrage that Brown was allowed back on the Grammys and even got to perform twice. “Chris brown twice? I don’t get it. He beat on a girl… Not cool that we act like that didn’t happen.” Chris Brown responded the next day basically saying whatever, he has a Grammy now. Just yesterday, Lambert fired off again responding, “Oh and one more thing for all who are asking… I have a Grammy too.” Which raises another question. Who doesn’t have a Grammy?

Chris Brown punched Rihanna 100 times in the face before the Grammys in 2009 but it’s all good now because he’s paid his two years penance and was invited to return to the 2012 Grammys. A few people didn’t agree with that decision and especially not with the one that gave him two performances but now he’s slamming the haters on Twitter, telling them to “F-off” because he has a Grammy now.

Chris tweeted yesterday, “HATE ALL U WANT BECAUZ I GOT A GRAMMY Now! That’s the ultimate FUCK OFF!”

The Grammy he won on Sunday has validated his existence and absolved him of all his sins. Chris Brown is so happy. Now you can’t say nothin’ to him. It’s like that incident never happened. Those girls that would let Chris Brown beat them must be overjoyed.

Reports say Rihanna and Chris Brown were spotted together again. This time at Greystone Manor in West Hollywood. Hollywood Life says the weekly rumors that Rihanna and Chris are partying together is an elaborate plan by the two of them. “They knew it was going to cause a scene and they actually are enjoying the fallout from it,” says a source.

Was the “source” Chris Brown? And is the next “report” going to be that Rihanna put on makeup to “fake” a black eye? Because this could be an ingenious method of covering up an abusive relationship.

Remember when Chris Brown punched Rihanna in the face a couple hundred times? Rihanna doesn’t. A new report by Us Weekly says the two, who were forcibly separated by the court, have been hooking up for nearly a year.

The edgy, platinum-selling “We Found Love” singer and Brown “meet up very casually,” a Brown confidante says. “She comes to see him anytime she’s in L.A.”
Explains a music industry source: “They can’t get enough of each other. I don’t see it ending well.”
“Rihanna loves to live dangerously, and talking to and hooking up with Chris is all part of that,” adds a Rihanna insider. Us Weekly

What’s worse is Chris Brown has a girlfriend, Karrueche Tran. A rep for Brown says he’s not cheating and that he and Rihanna are just friends.

But not like Tran cares anyway. Friends say Tran knows Chris is cheating, suspecting Chris’ studio is where all the hookups take place, but  Tran “won’t give him up for a few discretions.” In plain English, Tran would like to ride Chris’ coattails as long as she can. In her warped gold digger mind, somehow this relationship is going to lead to more modeling jobs.

The source adds, “Chris is a really passionate guy…He’s still a hothead and he does what he wants . . . He’ll go off the grid she’ll wonder what’s going on, but at the moment Chris and Karrueche are still a couple.”

And why wouldn’t they be? Karrueche isn’t finished punching her meal ticket just yet or, um, vice versa.