Chris Pratt (Parks and Recreation) has a bunch of cat lovers up in arms after giving away his 19-year-old incontinent cat to one of his followers on Twitter.

Pratt tweeted, “anyone in the LA area want a cat? full disclosure, she’s old and prone to accidents. So sweet though. And was in Stuart Little. (literally).” Not too bad. Except for the “literally” part. Was the cat “literally” in Stuart Little. Was she living inside Stuart Little like an alien chestburster?

Anyway, people let out a loud gasp and criticized Pratt for giving away their cat right at the end of its life. Not helping his case, Chris posted, “Bottom line, and not that this is any of your fucking business weirdos, but my wife and I want to start a family and we ABSOLUTELY CANNOT have an animal that shits all over the house. Sorry. If you are a parent you will understand. And if not, that probably explains why you have such a hard on for cats. Just sayin’.”

Except Anna Faris isn’t pregnant yet so this excuse sounds like a cop-out. But who cares. Someone took the cat and I’m sure they’ll be very happy owning something that can’t make it to the litter box to piss and sh*t. Good for them. Chris is a better man than me. I would have left the cat out and if my neighbor found it and tried to bring it back to me, I’d have stared at them, waved my hand in their face and said, “No speaky ingles.”

This is Anna Faris and her husband Chris Pratt on their honeymoon in Maui after eloping over the weekend. Apparently, Chris won her over with his Captain America speedo. People go crazy over patriotic stuff like that. One time I took the American flag from my neighbor’s house, laid it on the lawn and ground my crotch into it like a Chippendales dancer. You won’t believe the kind of attention I got.