Page Six reports that Christie Brinkley’s ex, Peter Cook, has a sex tape with his teen office lover Diana Bianchi. Stills were seen and unable to be unseen. They depict a naked Cook and Bianchi having sex in a brown love seat. Bianchi is also seen doing a striptease in a g-string while Cook whacks off.

Ah yes. The ubiquitous sex tape. Nothing says love like being filmed masturbating to a teenager as she gyrates her way into your heart and wallet. Her parents may disagree, but pay no mind because according to Will Smith, parents just don’t understand.

Anyway, the sex tape is reported to have been made at Peter’s Southampton architectural office without Bianchi’s knowledge. Now that Bianchi has learned about the existence of this tape, her lawyers are threatening to sue. According to her legal counsel, “We are now going to review, and begin weighing our legal options, for Diana.” In lawyer speak, this means, “Cha-ching!”