That’s the one question everyone is asking but is afraid to answer. Christina Aguilera was photographed performing at Etta James’ funeral with brownish-red liquid running down her right leg.

Holy crap, I hope that isn’t what I think it is. Christina should invest in heavy flow pads next time or stop tanning her labia.

If you listen to Kelly Osbourne’s yapping, Christina Aguilera called her fat for years back when Christina didn’t demand a fully stocked buffet in her dressing room at all times. Now that Christina uses her deep-fryer more than a mirror, she’s conveniently changed her tune about this fat thing. She told reporters at a TCA conference Friday,

“I’ve been in this [business] for a long time. I came out on the scene when I was 17 years old. You can never be too much of anything. You can never be too perfect, too thin, too curvy, voluptuous, this, that. I’ve been on all sides of the spectrum as far as any female in this business.”

“I think my video works over the years have spoken to that… As you know, ‘Dirty’ and so on, and ‘Lady Marmalade.’ I’ve been no stranger to being very comfortable in my own skin to take those risks, to take those chances,”

“As long as I’m happy in my own skin, that’s all I need,” she said. “I’m happy with where I’m at. I have a boyfriend that loves my body. I love my body. My son is healthy and happy. That’s all that matters.” Us Magazine

Now that the shoe is crammed on the other pudgy foot, she loves her body. And maybe she does. A lot of times when celebrities say they’re happy in their own skin they’re full of sh*t because six months later they’ve dieted down to a size 4. Not Christina though. She genuinely doesn’t seem to care that her back fat needs its own stylist because she still dresses like it’s 2001 when she was a size 2 and Kelly Osbourne was still that poor tubby chick she made fun of.

I didn’t realize to what extent Christina Aguilera let herself go until she performed at the American Music Awards. Most event pictures only show one side of her with no perspective. However, during her performance with Maroon 5, we got a 360 degree view with a lot of perspective. Dear lord, it looks like she’s been pumping gravy in her veins through in iv.

“Friends” of Christina say she “loves her curves” which is an obvious lie because Hollywood gives women a body image issue card upon entry to LA. Her friend says “she’s a Latina woman with curves and since when is it not ok to have curves?”

Oh really? Are we going there? Now that Christina is fat we can’t call her out on it because she calls them “curves” and real women have them?

Not only that but her people have the balls to spin her tight dress at the AMAs as something she did on purpose to set an example “for women and young girls, especially Latinas. She’s very proud of her curves. Christina thinks she is a good role model — not everyone is super skinny and she wants girls to embrace their body type.”

True. Not everyone is super skinny but you know who was super skinny? Christina Aguilera. But I guess she purposely put on weight just so all the fat little Latinas of the world would have a voice. My, what a selfless hero. Here I thought her years of partying finally caught up to her.

Now that Kelly Osbourne is skinnier than Christina Aguilera (seriously, wtf?) she’s reveling in criticizing Aguilera’s weight. Mostly due to the fact that Aguilera allegedly called Kelly fat for some many years.

On E!’s Fashion Police on Friday, Osbourne was back at it again slamming Aguilera and that outfit she wore during the Michael Jackson tribute concert.

“She called me fat for years,” Osbourne said. “I was never that fat.” Us Weekly

Kelly is right. Christina Aguilera looked terrible during that performance. She looked like a blonde Snooki. But Kelly was never that fat? Come on. Pot, I’d like you to meet your fatter pot self from four years ago. Sure, Christina looks like a wheezing Snooki now but you looked like the fat Pete Doherty.

Christina Aguilera and her chins performed at the Michael Jackson tribute concert in England over the weekend. Remember when Christina used to be all thin and sexy and a little dirty? Well you’ll want to hold on to those memories because they’re not coming back any time soon due to Christina eating them.

Christina Aguilera walked through LAX with her son Max on Tuesday and now everyone wants to know why he has a black eye. A few reports say Christina’s “booze-filled outings” and “erratic behavior” played a part in the injuries. Me? I just assume she had to tell him twice.

But sources tells us, that’s total nonsense — 3-year-old Max was out with his nanny last week, chasing around squirrels … and the kid tripped over a rock and bruised his face.

According to our sources, Max was taken to the doctor immediately and everything was fine. No broken nose, no stitches. Just your average boyhood bruise. — TMZ

Max should have seen the rock and he should have known how Christina gets when she drinks. It was his fault, really. She just loves him so much.

Kelly Osbourne and Christina Aguilera aren’t exactly friendly. Maybe it’s because Christina called her fat or maybe it’s because she bought Kelly’s house. Maybe even a combination of both. Whatever the case, now that Christina looks like her diet consists of donuts and KFC, it was the perfect time for Kelly to respond in kind. From Us,

After Joan Rivers, 78, said Aguilera looked “stuffed into” a Givenchy LBD at an event in Munich, Germany last month (and likened her to “Snooki’s Scandinavian cousin”), Osbourne chimed in: “Maybe she is just becoming the fat bitch she was born to be. I don’t know. She was a c**t to me. And she bought my house!”

Osbourne’s digs at 30-year-old Aguilera’s fluctuating weight didn’t end there. “She called me fat for so many f***ing years,” Osbourne continued, “so you know what? F**k you! You’re fat too.”

One thing I admire about Kelly Osbourne is she calls it like she sees it and what she saw was a tubby mess squeezed into a tight dress. I mean, ugh, I can’t even stand to look at that picture of Christina up top. She looks like what would happen if Brooke Hogan stuck her man parts into Ashlee Simpson.

Christina Aguilera went back to being fall-down drunk last Thursday. Aguilera looked sloshed as she wobbled out of The Beverly while her boyfriend Matthew Rutler made sure she didn’t eat it. Friends are reportedly concerned that she’s partying too hard. “She’s nearly fall-down wasted every night,” a source told Us.

With her eyes half-closed and her red lipstick smudged, Aguilera, 30, wobbled in her platform shoes as she was guided carefully to a waiting car.

If Rutler didn’t give the paps a thumbs up and say, “Guess who’s getting anal tonight?,” then he must be doing something wrong.

Hundreds of candid pictures of Christina Aguilera are being shopped around. Some of which were taken at Nicole Richie’s bachelorette party.

The images were on a digital storage card found in a French hotel. They were taken from June to November 2010. Aw, crap. I’ve lost interest already. This is fat Christina.

Radar says that 15 of the 109 pictures were taken at Nicole Richie’s bachelorette party in Cabo San Lucas. These include photos of Aguilera drinking and smoking a cigar, Nicole Richie in a bikini with a male blow-up doll strapped to her, Nicole drinking champagne and cocktails on a private jet and Aguilera and her boyfriend Matthew Rutler kissing on the bed. Also included:

• Aguilera mimicking performing oral sex on an unidentified male who is holding a sex toy
• Aguilera dancing on a table with friends at a private dinner
• Aguilera mimicking an oral sex act on a chocolate covered banana at a theme park
• Aguilera posing for before-and-after make-up shots.
• Aguilera and her son at a goat farm.

If you’re wondering why there’s no pictures of Christina giving a real blow job in the list, that’s because there aren’t any. Which makes these worthless. You can tell stolen pictures will suck when out of 109 photos, they only talk about 10 and one of them is about a kid and goat farms. The other pictures must be so boring. It’ll be like when your friend forces you to sit through their vacation photos.

Christina Aguilera merely looks like she was making out with her boyfriend Matthew Rutler in the back of a Benz. Matthew was actually regurgitating food back into Christina’s mouth like a bird. Because she’s hungry all the time, you see.

A few weeks ago, Christina Aguilera’s boyfriend Matthew Rutler was popped for a DUI. Cops also arrested Christina for public intoxication because she was extremely drunk and couldn’t take care of herself.

Three days after the arrest, they went back to the same restaurant they got drunk at and got drunk again. No doubt to slay that beast called dignity.

A source says they had two bottles of wine and no regrets. “She acted as if the arrest never happened. When their server offered them dessert, they asked for more wine.” “She seemed tipsy” when she was about to leave claims the witness.

Luckily, this time Christina and her boyfriend took a chauffeured limo back home. Unluckily, this hasn’t helped the 40 pounds of pudge she’s allegedly gained since splitting from Jordan Bratman.

An insider says, “Christina’s lost her confidence since she split from Jordan. She gets terribly sad, and that’s when all the awful memories come flooding back and she ends up numbing herself with booze and food.” Friends are calling her boyfriend Rutler an “enabler.”

Why can’t people ever numb themselves without gorging on food and alcohol? Just once I want to see a celebrity deal with depression by running on the treadmill for two hours a day. If not for themselves, then for me so I won’t have to look at their fat, piggy faces.

Christina Aguilera somehow drunkenly stumbled into Mark Burnett’s office where she was given a judging spot on his American Idol rip-off The Voice. She will join Cee Lo Green and Adam Levine to round out the panel of three celebrity singer judges.

“I am so excited to be part of such a wonderful project that celebrates music and the talent behind it,” Aguilera said in a statement. “To be given the opportunity to help shape new artists’ careers and mentor them to see their dreams come to fruition is a task I welcome with open arms.mI am so happy to be working with fellow Grammy Award winners Adam and Cee Lo as I feel there is so much we can all bring to The Voice.”

Hopefully Christina can bring some much needed charisma to the show. That is to say, by the end of each episode, she better be slurring her speech and passing out between each song or else this is going off my Tivo.

Up top is Christina Aguilera’s mugshot stealthily obtained by E!.

Continuing her downward spiral, Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend Matthew Rutler were arrested for public intoxication early Tuesday morning in West Hollywood. To be fair, she didn’t do anything wrong besides let her drunk boyfriend drive her home.

At around 2:45 a.m., cops noticed Matthew driving erratically and pulled him over. They determined he was drunk and arrested him for misdemeanor DUI. Cops also noticed Christina was “extremely intoxicated” and since she couldn’t take care of herself, they took her in for public intoxication. Her booking sheet lists her as 5’2” and 100 lbs.

According to the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department, Rutler’s bail was set at $5,000.

However, the source adds, “If the driver had NOT been arrested for DUI, [Christina] would have never been in trouble.”

Sources close to Xtina tell us they have been trying to get the singer into a rehab program for weeks.

Next time the cops should have fun with her and draw a penis on her face with Sharpie. I’m not sure how that would help but it couldn’t hurt.