I’ll let you figure out what letters those asterisks are covering up. According to sources inside The Voice, Christina Aguilera blew up after finding out what Adam Levine had in store for her for the finale.

“Christina found out that Adam planned to have his finalist, Tony Luca, sing 99 Problems by Jay-Z, in which he’ll sing “I’ve got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one” the source explains. “Adam and Tony wanted to call Christina out as a bitch but make it clear she’s not a problem for Tony. It was completely aimed at her. It was Adam’s idea, but Tony absolutely loved it.” Radar Online

Naturally, Christina flipped out because no one can say anything bad about her ever even though it seems to be true.

“Christina thought it was ridiculous. She was highly offended,” the source explained. “It ended up that NBC told Adam to change ‘bitch’ in the song’s lyrics to ‘chick.’”

Adam argued that changing the lyrics would ruin the song. He “went right up to Christina and said ‘you’re the biggest f***ing c***.” Aguilera, pissed, squealed that Adam should be fired and that “she’s sick of being treated this way.” Then, with her mouth half-open, she pointed to a tray of sandwiches on a table and told her assistant to “bring them to me!”

“Christina is so sick of Adam being looked at as the golden boy of the show. If America knew how disgusting he was, they would be appalled, she always says,” the source admitted.

Adam’s outburst led to a halt in production rehearsals.

“Adam wouldn’t do anything until this gets figured out,” the source revealed. “He was being incredibly immature.”

The whole thing was a “huge fiasco,” the source admitted. “By midday it wasn’t even confirmed that Adam would be going through with the coaches performance. It was that bad.”

To be fair, more than half the people who’ve met Christina say the same thing. That she’s a total bitch. But, hey, at least he wasn’t going to call her a “fat bitch.” That’s something at least.

Despite all suggestions to “please, dear god, don’t do it,” Christina Aguilera is determined to not wear pants on The Voice. People might think this is daring and her challenging popular opinion about body image and Christina being comfortable in her own, now taught with fat, skin but those excuses are just a smokescreen for the real reason: The elastic on this outfit stretches way better than any waistband on a pair of pants ever could making it especially useful for buffets and gallon buckets of KFC and whatever else Christina uses to make her body continually expand.

When they’re not busy singing about bringing women to orgasm, they’re doing guest appearances on The Voice and then going on 923Now to describe what a total b*tch Christina Aguilera was.

“She’s a total bitch,” Tom Parker spat. “She might not be a bitch in real life, but to us, she was a total bitch. She just sat there and didn’t speak to us. Wouldn’t even look at us.” MTV

Question: Was there a doughnut sitting across from these guys? Because that could explain her indifference.

“She was quite rude,” Siva Kaneswaran added. “Who does that?”

Um, Christina Aguilera, the delusional girl who clomps around on stage like Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons?

It bears mention that perhaps Aguilera was just having a bad night, because following the show, she also caught heat for snubbing Justin Bieber.

She was probably just pissed none of the guests brought her any ice cream cakes as gifts. Didn’t they read her rider?

They did have nothing but good things to say about Jennifer Lopez when they were on American Idol. At least J.Lo understands that people like celebrities who aren’t total dicks.

Last night on The Voice, Christina Aguilera performed pants-less with her four remaining contestants, stomping around on stage with her stumpy legs. Christina may go down in history as one of the more disappointing pop stars to grow up. Right up there with Jessica Simpson. From behind, she looks like a brontosaurus shuffling to food.

Pro tip: When your ass looks like it was sculpted from years of Cheeto indulgence, it’s a good idea to wear pants and not waddle around in six inch heels.

That’s the one question everyone is asking but is afraid to answer. Christina Aguilera was photographed performing at Etta James’ funeral with brownish-red liquid running down her right leg.

Holy crap, I hope that isn’t what I think it is. Christina should invest in heavy flow pads next time or stop tanning her labia.

If you listen to Kelly Osbourne’s yapping, Christina Aguilera called her fat for years back when Christina didn’t demand a fully stocked buffet in her dressing room at all times. Now that Christina uses her deep-fryer more than a mirror, she’s conveniently changed her tune about this fat thing. She told reporters at a TCA conference Friday,

“I’ve been in this [business] for a long time. I came out on the scene when I was 17 years old. You can never be too much of anything. You can never be too perfect, too thin, too curvy, voluptuous, this, that. I’ve been on all sides of the spectrum as far as any female in this business.”

“I think my video works over the years have spoken to that… As you know, ‘Dirty’ and so on, and ‘Lady Marmalade.’ I’ve been no stranger to being very comfortable in my own skin to take those risks, to take those chances,”

“As long as I’m happy in my own skin, that’s all I need,” she said. “I’m happy with where I’m at. I have a boyfriend that loves my body. I love my body. My son is healthy and happy. That’s all that matters.” Us Magazine

Now that the shoe is crammed on the other pudgy foot, she loves her body. And maybe she does. A lot of times when celebrities say they’re happy in their own skin they’re full of sh*t because six months later they’ve dieted down to a size 4. Not Christina though. She genuinely doesn’t seem to care that her back fat needs its own stylist because she still dresses like it’s 2001 when she was a size 2 and Kelly Osbourne was still that poor tubby chick she made fun of.

I didn’t realize to what extent Christina Aguilera let herself go until she performed at the American Music Awards. Most event pictures only show one side of her with no perspective. However, during her performance with Maroon 5, we got a 360 degree view with a lot of perspective. Dear lord, it looks like she’s been pumping gravy in her veins through in iv.

“Friends” of Christina say she “loves her curves” which is an obvious lie because Hollywood gives women a body image issue card upon entry to LA. Her friend says “she’s a Latina woman with curves and since when is it not ok to have curves?”

Oh really? Are we going there? Now that Christina is fat we can’t call her out on it because she calls them “curves” and real women have them?

Not only that but her people have the balls to spin her tight dress at the AMAs as something she did on purpose to set an example “for women and young girls, especially Latinas. She’s very proud of her curves. Christina thinks she is a good role model — not everyone is super skinny and she wants girls to embrace their body type.”

True. Not everyone is super skinny but you know who was super skinny? Christina Aguilera. But I guess she purposely put on weight just so all the fat little Latinas of the world would have a voice. My, what a selfless hero. Here I thought her years of partying finally caught up to her.

Now that Kelly Osbourne is skinnier than Christina Aguilera (seriously, wtf?) she’s reveling in criticizing Aguilera’s weight. Mostly due to the fact that Aguilera allegedly called Kelly fat for some many years.

On E!’s Fashion Police on Friday, Osbourne was back at it again slamming Aguilera and that outfit she wore during the Michael Jackson tribute concert.

“She called me fat for years,” Osbourne said. “I was never that fat.” Us Weekly

Kelly is right. Christina Aguilera looked terrible during that performance. She looked like a blonde Snooki. But Kelly was never that fat? Come on. Pot, I’d like you to meet your fatter pot self from four years ago. Sure, Christina looks like a wheezing Snooki now but you looked like the fat Pete Doherty.

Christina Aguilera and her chins performed at the Michael Jackson tribute concert in England over the weekend. Remember when Christina used to be all thin and sexy and a little dirty? Well you’ll want to hold on to those memories because they’re not coming back any time soon due to Christina eating them.

Christina Aguilera walked through LAX with her son Max on Tuesday and now everyone wants to know why he has a black eye. A few reports say Christina’s “booze-filled outings” and “erratic behavior” played a part in the injuries. Me? I just assume she had to tell him twice.

But sources tells us, that’s total nonsense — 3-year-old Max was out with his nanny last week, chasing around squirrels … and the kid tripped over a rock and bruised his face.

According to our sources, Max was taken to the doctor immediately and everything was fine. No broken nose, no stitches. Just your average boyhood bruise. — TMZ

Max should have seen the rock and he should have known how Christina gets when she drinks. It was his fault, really. She just loves him so much.

Kelly Osbourne and Christina Aguilera aren’t exactly friendly. Maybe it’s because Christina called her fat or maybe it’s because she bought Kelly’s house. Maybe even a combination of both. Whatever the case, now that Christina looks like her diet consists of donuts and KFC, it was the perfect time for Kelly to respond in kind. From Us,

After Joan Rivers, 78, said Aguilera looked “stuffed into” a Givenchy LBD at an event in Munich, Germany last month (and likened her to “Snooki’s Scandinavian cousin”), Osbourne chimed in: “Maybe she is just becoming the fat bitch she was born to be. I don’t know. She was a c**t to me. And she bought my house!”

Osbourne’s digs at 30-year-old Aguilera’s fluctuating weight didn’t end there. “She called me fat for so many f***ing years,” Osbourne continued, “so you know what? F**k you! You’re fat too.”

One thing I admire about Kelly Osbourne is she calls it like she sees it and what she saw was a tubby mess squeezed into a tight dress. I mean, ugh, I can’t even stand to look at that picture of Christina up top. She looks like what would happen if Brooke Hogan stuck her man parts into Ashlee Simpson.

Christina Aguilera went back to being fall-down drunk last Thursday. Aguilera looked sloshed as she wobbled out of The Beverly while her boyfriend Matthew Rutler made sure she didn’t eat it. Friends are reportedly concerned that she’s partying too hard. “She’s nearly fall-down wasted every night,” a source told Us.

With her eyes half-closed and her red lipstick smudged, Aguilera, 30, wobbled in her platform shoes as she was guided carefully to a waiting car.

If Rutler didn’t give the paps a thumbs up and say, “Guess who’s getting anal tonight?,” then he must be doing something wrong.

Hundreds of candid pictures of Christina Aguilera are being shopped around. Some of which were taken at Nicole Richie’s bachelorette party.

The images were on a digital storage card found in a French hotel. They were taken from June to November 2010. Aw, crap. I’ve lost interest already. This is fat Christina.

Radar says that 15 of the 109 pictures were taken at Nicole Richie’s bachelorette party in Cabo San Lucas. These include photos of Aguilera drinking and smoking a cigar, Nicole Richie in a bikini with a male blow-up doll strapped to her, Nicole drinking champagne and cocktails on a private jet and Aguilera and her boyfriend Matthew Rutler kissing on the bed. Also included:

• Aguilera mimicking performing oral sex on an unidentified male who is holding a sex toy
• Aguilera dancing on a table with friends at a private dinner
• Aguilera mimicking an oral sex act on a chocolate covered banana at a theme park
• Aguilera posing for before-and-after make-up shots.
• Aguilera and her son at a goat farm.

If you’re wondering why there’s no pictures of Christina giving a real blow job in the list, that’s because there aren’t any. Which makes these worthless. You can tell stolen pictures will suck when out of 109 photos, they only talk about 10 and one of them is about a kid and goat farms. The other pictures must be so boring. It’ll be like when your friend forces you to sit through their vacation photos.