This is the obligatory Christina Hendricks at an awards show with her amazing tatas post that everyone knew was coming. These are of her at the Emmys. She’s so ghastly white that when the flash hit her, I couldn’t distinguish her from the backdrop. If she showed up at the foot of my bed, I’d scream. And then get an erection.

Here’s Christina Hendricks and her ginormous breasts at the premiere of I Don’t Know How She Does It.

It looks like Ice-T’s wife Coco sat on her and her ass never left Christina’s chest. Christina has never had a boob job but if she did, I assume she just pointed to a picture of Coco’s butt and said “I want that.”

I know Christina Hendricks is supposed to be hot and represent what a real woman looks like but, good lord, every awards show she attends, she looks more and more like a goblin. If she starts speaking in the third person and talking about a ring, I’m going to freak out.

Playboy tweeted this picture a couple days ago with the caption, “Tuesday Trivia: Who is the famous actress in this photo from the July 1999 issue?”

The answer is Christina Hendricks. The chick on the right. The one with the normal size breasts.

So, does this mean she got a boob job? I don’t know. I’m on the fence about this one. Like Agent Mulder, I want to believe.

Standing outside a local pawnshop while filming a scene from Drive in LA, Christina Hendricks was confused for a hooker by a handsome fellow. A crew member eventually led the man away. I think.

I know the feeling, dude. Why, if I had a nickel for every time I confused a girl hanging outside a store for a hooker, I’d have enough money for my bail.

In the November issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Christina Hendricks talks about how beautiful she is and that not only do men hit on her, but women as well. She and her husband laugh about it of course because who would want a woman with an impossible to obtain figure created by the costume designers on Mad Men? Lil ol’ me? Tee-hee.

Christina tells Harper’s, “Women hit on me. My husband thinks it’s so odd that so many women hit on me.” Granted, Christina’s husband would also think it odd if women hit on him.

She also relates, “When the attention started to become about my figure, I was surprised, because it wasn’t something I was focused on. And then it became very positive, and people were saying very nice things.”

A fan approached her and said, “Excuse me, I just want to tell you that I watch your show, and you make me feel better about myself. I am a curvy woman and you’ve made me feel sexy and beautiful.’ I got teary eyed.”

You could take that one of two ways. One, a not really fat chick with low self-esteem could have found inspiration in Christina’s character or, two, the most likely scenario, some fat chick with an ice cream cone in each hand blew spittle on Christina as she thanked the star for helping her embrace her “full-figured” body.

Well, not really Mad Men. It’s just Jon Hamm with the three main (Elisabeth Moss, January Jones, Christina Hendricks) chicks on the extremely photoshopped cover. Some things to take note of:

1. Elisabeth Moss is now a lot thinner
2. Elisabeth Moss’ breasts are now roughly the size of Christina Hendricks’.
3. Elisabeth Moss’ right foot is 5 inches longer than her left.
4. January Jones looks like Kelly Carlson from Nip/Tuck.
5. January Jones’ left hand has been amputated.
6. Christina Hendricks’ face is really the size of an ant’s.
7. Christina Hendricks has a creepy, tiny left hand.

Christina Hendricks was at the 62nd Annual Primetime Emmy Awards and I heard each of her breasts needed their own ticket. Did those things get bigger? Is that possible? I’m surprised random objects aren’t floating around them because of their gravitational pull. Gadzooks.

As awesome as Christina’s breasts were on Sunday, however, she still looked like a goblin in a few of these photos. I was half-expecting an epic battle between her and Spider-Man to begin.

Christina Hendricks is the new face of London Fog. She’ll star in the label’s fall 2010 ad campaign. Christina says about the brand,

“London Fog is a classic brand, which I love. It also ties into Mad Men, we used London Fog in the show and this was a nice way to tie everything together,” the Emmy-nominated actress says of the outerwear label. “The trench is such an iconic shape for men and women. It works for anyone – it worked in the 1960s and it works now.”

Chief marketing officer, Dari Marder, said it was Christina’s timeless glamour and sophistication that led them to choose her. “Christina has a modern appeal but also harks back to a bygone era,” explained Dari. He then cupped his hands in front of his chest like he was holding two large breasts and bounced them up and down before making a dismissive wanking motion.

Before Christina Hendricks was on Mad Men she was on MTV’s Undressed and Firefly. Neither of which showed off her amazing breasts. They’re probably kicking themselves for dropping the ball on that one. So many missed opportunities to write an inappropriate bikini episode. Sigh. [Buzzfeed]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP0HwHhmFSU&feature=player_embedded

Christina Hendricks is that redhead with the big tits from Mad Men. She looks like a cartoon character a horny sixth grader would draw in the margins of their notebook. Anyway, she tells the July/August issue of Health about the time she gained 15 pounds and was all, “I love it!” Great. Just when I started to think this chick was cool, she starts saying stuff like this.

“Back when I was modeling, the first time I went to Italy I was having cappuccinos every day, and I gained 15 pounds. And I felt gorgeous!” Hendricks, 35, tells the July/August issue of Health. “I would take my clothes off in front of the mirror and be like, Oh, I look like a woman. And I felt beautiful, and I never tried to lose it, ’cause I loved it!”

But the buxom redhead — who admits she could “sit down with a bag of chips and French onion dip and go to town” — also makes an effort to stay healthy by varying her gym routine.

“I get kind of bored on the treadmill, but I do it. And I do a little bit of weight training,” she says. “I’m really into the BOSU ball. You have to balance on it, and I do weights and squats on it. I’m pretty good at it — I feel sort of like a Karate Kid!”

That 15 pounds must have all went to Christina’s breasts because I don’t know anyone who looks in the mirror after gaining 15 pounds and is impressed. Especially women. Unless they’re 5’3” 250 pound women who have lost all hope of being thin and are on Jerry Springer proclaiming “this is how a real woman looks.” Uh, no it’s not, fatty. A real woman isn’t shaped like a human wrecking ball and doesn’t wheeze after taking two steps.

[Fame]

In the latest Esquire, Christina Hendricks talks about what a guy should be like. I think. I’m not sure. Her huge breasts sort of drown out her voice. A few excerpts:

We remember forever what you say about the bodies of other women. When you mention in passing that a certain woman is attractive — could be someone in the office, a woman on the street, a celebrity, any woman in the world, really — your comment goes into a steel box and it stays there forever. We will file the comment under “Women He Finds Attractive.” It’s not about whether or not we approve of the comment. It’s about learning what you think is sexy and how we might be able to convey it. It’s about keeping our man by knowing what he likes.

Remember what we like. When I first started dating my husband, I had this weird fascination with the circus and clowns and old carnival things and sideshow freaks and all that. About a month after we started dating, he bought me this amazing black-and-white photo book on the circus in the 1930s, and I started sobbing. Which freaked him out. I thought, Oh, my God, I mentioned this three or four weeks ago and talked about it briefly, but he was really listening to me. And he actually went out and researched and found this thing for me. It was amazing.

We want you to order Scotch. It’s the most impressive drink order. It’s classic. It’s sexy. Such a rich color. The glass, the smell. It’s not watered down with fruit juice. It’s Scotch. And you ordered it.

No man should be on Facebook. It’s an invasion of everyone’s privacy. I really cannot stand it.

About ogling: The men who look, they really look. It doesn’t insult us. It doesn’t faze us, really. It’s just — well, it’s a little infantile. Which is ironic, isn’t it? The men who constantly stare at our breasts are never the men we’re attracted to.

With my comments about Jessica Rabbit being the perfect woman, my bad memory, my love for drinks that are pink, my 5,000 Facebook friends and my constant leering at Christina’s breasts, I don’t know if we’re very compatible. I’m sorry Christina, but I think this might be the end of our relationship. Let’s not make a big deal out of this.

It’s cool that Christina Hendricks loves showing off her huge breasts, but could she at least put some effort into it? Just because she has Hollywood’s biggest tits doesn’t mean any dress will work.

Case in point: Elton John’s Oscar party last night. What the hell is this? I know it must be hard to find a dress that fits, but that doesn’t mean you need to resort to this. At least get a dress that shows off your somewhat hourglass figure. Not one that shows off the awesome cleavage and then goes all to hell past the hips. This makes it look like her thighs took the brunt of a cookie dough binge.