Christina Milian, 27, married The Dream, 27, over the weekend at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas. It was the wedding she dreamed about ever since she was a little girl. When asked to describe her perfect wedding at only 6 years of age, Milian was remembered saying, “I want to have a quickie wedding in Vegas due to an unplanned pregnancy.” Look at her now. Dreams do come true.

A source tells Us, “the pregnancy was a surprise, but they were getting married regardless.” Uh huh. Sure. Just like I planned on getting pushed into that puddle in middle school and having my lunch money stolen during recess. No, really. Even in my day planner it said, “Get punched in the stomach at 10 AM.”

Sometime last week, Christina Milian showed up in Hawaii wearing a bikini. Not since bigfoot has there been a more stimulating sighting.

Christina Milian is vacationing somewhere in a bikini, hanging out at someplace with a pool, showing off her ass at said location. Further details, while sketchy, are not important.

[Images via Splash News]

Christina Milian showed up at the CUN’s 9th Annual Oscar Viewing Party with fantastic cleavage. I showed up at my Oscar viewing party without pants. Little did I know that was poor etiquette. Even though I live there. Come on!

Christina Milian went for a dip in a Miami beach at the end of December. The results were amazing. I got a boner just like that. *Snaps fingers*

Kristen Bell closes a car door on her hand. Nothing happened so the world can breathe a sigh of relief.

Lou Diamond Phillips is arrested for beating his wife. “The deadly weapon, police said, was bodily force.” I didn’t know Lou Diamond Phillips was turning into Steven Seagal.

Kanye West is engaged to some woman no one has ever heard of. President Bush still hates black people.

Elle Macpherson and Heidi Klum are in a battle over who should rightfully be known as “The Body”. This rivalry may be more intense than when there were to Undertakers in the WWF. Also in the link is Stephen Baldwin offering happy couples a chance to have a threesome with God. Is God a fan of facials?

Brad Pitt tries to assert his dominance, but Angelina Jolie laughs and moves into a hotel. Brad Pitt is now in search of testicular fortitude.

This is somewhat related right? Kristen Bell and Christina Milian at the premiere of Pulse.

I thought after Julia Roberts, I should follow up with something a little less horrifying. Not only are Kristen Bell and Christina Milian not horrifying, they’re what I’m going to fall asleep to. By fall asleep to, I mean furiously masturbate to until I pass out from exhaustion. Here they are promoting Pulse which is another watered down remake of a Japanese horror movie. I wonder where studios are going to move on to next after they finish raping the whole of Asia. Europe perhaps?