http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzQsION8NYA&feature=player_embedded

Chuck Liddell was in a viral video floating around the web a couple of days ago. Turns out it was a campaign for Reebok. And that girl he was working out naked with? Jose Canseco’s ex-girlfriend Heidi Northcott.

The most disturbing thing about this video isn’t that he didn’t wipe down either before or after he used the machine. It’s the guy breathing heavily outside. Hopefully Chuck doesn’t wash his own windows.

Chuck Liddell has lost four of his last five fights. Three of them coming by way of KO or TKO. He’s basically been forced into early retirement by “best friend” Dana White. At the very least, he’s been put on ice (hehe, I made a funny because his nickname is The Iceman, you see).

So what does an ex-light heavyweight champ do during his off-time? Why, participate in the new season of Dancing With The Stars of course. Beginning September 21st, you’ll be able to see the man formerly known as UFC’s most feared striker pirouetting around  on your television screen.

“I want to win,” Liddell told UFC.com. “I don’t like losing in anything, so I’ll work as hard as they’ll let me.”

“I’m gonna go out, be myself, and show what kind of people we do have in this sport,” he said. “I’m sure the reaction will be mixed (among fight fans). My friends are gonna be excited and I’ll never hear the end of it because they’ll make fun of me, but it should be fun and I think everyone will like it.”

“They asked a couple different times, but it would be too much time to take off from training for fights,” said Liddell. “Now I don’t have any fights coming up and I’m not training, so it’s something to do.”

“When I talked to them after I agreed to do it, they said if you don’t have any background in dancing, just learn it when you get here. Don’t confuse yourself by starting with somebody and then having to come over and re-learn it.”

Chuck will join Aaron Carter, Donny Osmond, Joanna Krupa, Kathy Ireland, Kelly Osbourne, Melissa Joan Hart, Michael Irvin and others to see who the best dancer really is.

Please, please, please, I’m begging you. Can we put Liddell in a tutu and make him jump in the air and do those flutter kicks. I want to see what he enjoys less. Being knocked out or that. My money is on the flutter kicks because with a concussion you won’t have to remember the embarrassment.

There are benefits to being an MMA fighter and the UFC poster boy. First, there’s the money and fame. Second, there are the plethora of women who throw themselves at you. Third, you have the ability to pick up any random chick on the street, take her home with you (FIVESOME!) and not have to report to a police station the next morning as Chuck Lidell is shown doing in the video.

Dammit. I should train MMA. In fact, I’m ready to throw down right now. On one condition. That I don’t get hit. Blood makes me squeamish and I don’t think watching me run away crying would be very attractive.

UFC poster boy, Chuck Lidell, lost again over the weekend to Keith Jardine. While many believed this to be his comeback fight after losing his title to Quinton Jackson, the “most feared striker in the world” was simply outclassed on Saturday. Which is really a big surprise considering his grueling training. Just look how low Chuck can go and how he can strip at the same time. Simply amazing. How many muscles does that train at once? 200? It’s gotta be 200 at least. To all you hardcore gym rats out there, if you’re not incorporating boobies into your sets and reps, you’ll never amount to anything. You might as well be stuffing Twinkies in your mouth. Here, why don’t you just put on this dress and fix me some breakfast, girly man.

I’ve reported on Mike Tyson here before which means I should definitely report on Chuck Liddell (since I love MMA and, yes, I will marry it). Plus, it’s better than more Paris Hilton.

Liddell, as some of you may know, is the ex-UFC champion who had his ass summarily handed to him by Quinton “Rampage” Jackson for the second time. This time his corner didn’t even have to throw in the towel!

However, even though Chucky was on the receiving end of a beatdown almost as vicious as the one I got after walking in on Rosie O’Donnell in a threesome with a donut and a hamburger, he managed to pull himself together and find solace in these two upstanding citizens. He’s so courageous.

Really though. This is weird. Whenever I’m beat up — which is never — ladies don’t give me a lap dance, make out with each other and then make out with me. Usually they point and laugh. Which is totally unnecessary because I barely peed myself.