Cisco Adler and the Adlerettes have a VH1 show called Rock Life and to promote it, have posted a trailer on contangorecords.com in which the Whitestarr singer brags,

I have some sort of gift with women . . . I tend to find myself dating famous women sometimes. I just write dope songs and [bleep] hot bitches.

Big houses, fancy cars, lots of women, but we’ve never actually sold a record. A lot of people don’t like to take us seriously . . . because we are ‘privileged children.’

Indeed. Hot bitches like Mischa Barton, Paris Hilton and Kimberly Stewart which is pretty much the cream of the crop if the crop you were growing was infested with locusts and a bear took a fat shit on it. Adler also adds that they’re not that privileged.

We’re lucky enough to have a pool, but not a pool cleaner.

Hey, remember that picture of Cisco Adler’s saggy nutsack (link NSFW so don’t click unless you’re ready for it)? That’s all I remember about him. They’re so ugly even Tara Reid and her rippling stomach would laugh. So, if you’re planning on hitting the guy in the face with a bat, I suggest teeing off on that thing first.

As a bonus, here’s another trailer showing you how easy it is to trick a few girls. Apparently, I could walk down Hollywood Blvd. with a guitar in my hands playing the theme to Jurassic Park and the ladies would be all over me.

Update to the update: Us Magazine says they split again. Going back to this saggy ball story makes me nauseous.

Update: Saggy balls trump all. Cisco and Mischa didn’t break up over his junk. Cisco says she still wasn’t too thrilled by it.

Mischa Barton has ended it with Cisco Adler after the nude picture of him (NSFW and wrong) with his saggy balls surfaced in the raid on Paris Hilton’s storage locker. Us says,

“They had a blowup. She was furious.”

Mischa Barton made a pretty good move there. Having children with the same saggy ball syndrome would be frustrating. They’re liable to get caught in between the slats of a park bench. Just how many times do you need to tell them shorts and boxers are a lethal combination?

Note: I’ve been thinking the whole day that by blowup they meant her friends gave her an actual blowup like in a life size cardboard figure. Now I realize they were talking about blowup as in fight. My version is much cooler, but the other version is less disturbing.