The CMT Awards took place in Nashville last night and Shania Twain made a big impression on everyone by falling on her ass while walking to the stage to present the Male Video of the Year award. She taped a response to the fall,

“I just made a complete fool of myself and experienced one of life’s most embarrassing moments. I don’t need a stunt double. I didn’t hurt myself. I have a bit of a sore thumb — that’s it. I’m gonna auction off those shoes. I’m gonna get rid of them as soon as I can. I never want to see those shoes again!”

Oh, how embarrassing. Let’s all point and laugh. Quickly. This may be the only chance we’ll get to feel better about ourselves. Pretty soon she’ll morph back into that perfect woman who’s prettier, more talented, more famous and richer than us. Haha! Loser. Guess who has two thumbs and has never fallen at the CMT Awards? *Points to self*

I linked to this earlier, but the video went down. Anyway, Taylor Swift made her debut as T-Sweezy with T-Pain last night at the CMT Awards in Nashville. The song “Thug Story” was a play on her hit “Love Story”. It’s sort of a light Nickelodeon version of Natalie Portman’s rap.

All Taylor Swift has to do now is start a rivalry with Kelly Clarkson and her street cred will be through the roof. Bonus points if she ironically beats Clarkson with the thing she loves most: Pat and Oscar bread sticks.