Turns out Coachella was pretty fun for Vanessa Hudgens. Not only was she dancing around like a fool but she was also licking white powder off her fingers from a baggie and taking shots of Tequila.

I give it a month before new nudes come out of her. This b*tch loves to party.

Here’s Kristen Stewart at Coachella over the weekend right after she had gay sex in a dirty truck stop restroom. Her big rig is parked somewhere in the rear.

Good news everybody. Katy Perry took her breasts to Coachella and this was the result. When asked for comment, her breasts said, “Hey, look at me. I’m a pair of tits!”

You may be wondering why people were clearing the area around Kirsten Dunst as she walked through Coachella on Sunday. Well, the answer is simple. They were absolutely terrified. It’s not often a ghost haunts a three day music festival.

Singer Joss Stone performed at Coachella on Saturday and wouldn’t you know it. Some pervert decided to look up her dress with their cameras. Have you no decency, sir?! Is what my moral outrage would sound like if I wasn’t also a huge pervert.

Coachella is a three day music festival held in the desert so it’s understandable why you won’t find me there because I could barely stand the 94 degree heat at my place on Sunday. Who you will find there, however, are celebrities like Brittany Snow because they can afford $5 blended mochas and Gatorades every half hour during the day and a personal heater at night. If I had been there yesterday, you would have seen me wrapping a  t-shirt around my head and crawling on the ground like I had already been stranded in the desert for 3 days.