Penn Badgley and Zoe Kravitz, who are dating if you didn’t know, were seen at Coachella over the weekend and Penn Badgley looks like this now. Like if Crockett from Miami Vice time traveled to Coachella and became a hipster.

Emma Roberts was at Coachella over the weekend wearing whatever the hell this is. Her top looks like it was halfway fed through a paper shredder and her shorts are unbuttoned for some reason. If she didn’t look so damn pleased walking through the place, I’d have assumed she was a rape victim.

Here’s Kristen Stewart embracing her white trash style at the second weekend of Coachella with a trucker hat, daisy dukes and a shirt that read “White Trash.” She hit up the festival with Robert Pattinson where they were seen at the Radiohead concert (naturally) “kissing and holding hands, swaying and singing along to parts [of the songs.]” Basically doing whatever it is you’d imagine hipsters do. Kristen probably went on Tumblr later and claimed to like Radiohead back when they were called On a Friday.

Rihanna posted the above photo of herself on Instagram of her at Coachella rolling a fat blunt off some dude’s head. She captioned it, “Memories don’t live like people do #coachella.”

The Mirror is stirring the pot asking whether or not the weed looked powdery white because of the light bouncing off it. Hint: yes.

The question they should be asking though is “how did it feel to have your dome used as a pothead’s cutting board?” Very degrading or just a little?

When you’re Gerard Butler, banging Hollywood starlets gets pretty boring. Sometimes you need to have sex with a normal person in a Porta-Potty at Coachella to put things, like how awesome your life is, in perspective.

The Scottish heartthrob has remained sober at every festival soiree, but still can’t seem to control his love for the ladies. At the A/X Armani Exchange and T-Mobile Neon Carnival on Saturday, Butler made no secret of his latest target. Instead of hiding among the throngs of partygoers on the packed dance floor, Butler led his mystery brunette out into the open air for a seductive slow dance in an empty patch of pavement. “The two were grinding like they were at a middle school dance,” says our spy. “He didn’t seem to care who was watching.” After their spin, our spy watched Butler accompany his dance partner to the Porta-Potties before they returned to the carnival-themed bash. Page Six

First of all, things must have changed since I’ve been in school because there was no grinding on each other during middle school dances. It was more like boys stood on one side while girls stood on the other, each gender deciding who’d be brave enough to ask the other for an awkward slow dance.

Second of all, I hope they lit a candle while they were in there doing it in there. Not for ambiance, but to burn off any lingering farts.

Last weekend at Coachella, Tupac rose from the dead to perform once again. As a hologram. The tech wasn’t perfect, Tupac glided around too much, but it was pretty realistic.

The good thing about this is someone tried to shoot him again but the bullets passed right through him. The bad thing about this is you’re going to have to sit through another few months of people claiming Tupac is still alive. “I swear to god, I saw him performing in Indio last April and now he has superpowers.”

When Judge Sautner took Lindsay Lohan off formal probation, she suggested Lindsay stay away from clubs. For the most part, she’s listened. Sort of. Lindsay is currently being investigated for assaulting a women at a hotel bar. Then, over the weekend, she hit up Coachella.

We’re told Lindsay went to a few different events during the weekend and was very conscious lots of people were whispering about her — specifically, that she was in the danger zone by even showing up. The way she feels … she’s gone to Coachella for the last 4 or 5 years so she didn’t think this year was a big deal.

Lindsay insists she didn’t have a drop of alcohol during the weekend — she feels she can control herself, even in a situation filled with temptation. TMZ

Luckily for Lindsay, Coachella isn’t a club. It’s a 3 day party in the desert where people get drunk and high while listening to music.

Jared Leto, finally emerging from his Unabomber cabin, also made an appearance at Coachella. Sadly, no one asked why he needed to tie a sweater around his wast when he was already wearing a jean jacket. Was it to look like an idiot or was poor widdle baby afwaid of getting cold at night?

If you didn’t hit up Coachella this year or watch the live stream on YouTube, you missed the reunion of At the Drive-In.

More importantly, you missed seeing Vanessa Hudgens bedazzle her face, make out with Austin Butler and dance around with him like two pretty little princesses.

Then on day two, you missed her almost letting everyone see up her skirt.

Turns out Coachella was pretty fun for Vanessa Hudgens. Not only was she dancing around like a fool but she was also licking white powder off her fingers from a baggie and taking shots of Tequila.

I give it a month before new nudes come out of her. This b*tch loves to party.

Here’s Kristen Stewart at Coachella over the weekend right after she had gay sex in a dirty truck stop restroom. Her big rig is parked somewhere in the rear.

Good news everybody. Katy Perry took her breasts to Coachella and this was the result. When asked for comment, her breasts said, “Hey, look at me. I’m a pair of tits!”

You may be wondering why people were clearing the area around Kirsten Dunst as she walked through Coachella on Sunday. Well, the answer is simple. They were absolutely terrified. It’s not often a ghost haunts a three day music festival.