Chris Brown is facing a “Robbery by Sudden Snatching” charge after stealing a woman’s cellphone outside Cameo club in South Beach on February 19.

The woman, Christal Spann, said she and friends followed Brown and rapper Tyga outside the club and took a photo of him with her iPhone 4s after Brown got into his Bentley. Chris Brown got angry, reached through the window, snatched her cellphone and said, “B**ch you ain’t going to put that on no website.” Then he rolled up his window and drove off.

Nes Grez, an alleged witness to the incident, said, “Why does he have to be so mean? It was just a fan. It was sad, man. It sucked. It really sucked. I felt bad for the girl. I mean I would’ve done the same thing. I would’ve taken one of his pictures.”

The rationality of Chris Brown is truly amazing. He doesn’t want a picture of him in a car to end up on a website so he steals the cellphone that took the picture. And he didn’t think maybe a story about him jacking someone’s cellphone was going to end up on the website instead? This must be why he loves Twitter. He only has to think as far as 140 characters and there’s a delete button just in case.

Heather Bormann, the party-bus driver that Lost actor Matthew Fox punched in the breasts and vagina because she wouldn’t let him on, has officially filed assault charges. Bormann told CNN, “He got me pretty good.”

Describing the incident, she said, “He was swinging at my legs and, ultimately, my chest and my crotch area.” Bormann punched him back and hurt her wrist. “He reeked of liquor,” Bormann said. “You could just smell it coming off of him. He had glassy eyes and a blank stare the whole time.”

In Matthew’s defense, how else was he supposed to get on the bus? If you have any bright ideas, let’s hear them, mister.

Lindsay Lohan will be charged with felony grand theft for stealing a $2,5000 necklace on Wednesday morning. The single count will be filed at Airport Court. She will be arraigned at 1:30 PM and must be present for the hearing. If convicted, she could be sent to state prison.

Lindsay, however, has “witnesses” to back up her story about borrowing the necklace. Are these witnesses unbiased third parties? Haha, no. They’re her assistant Eleanor and her friend Patrick. “Her assistant Eleanor and her friend Patrick were with her and they saw everything and they both know that Lindsay didn’t steal the necklace.”

They claim the store let Lindsay borrow the necklace for publicity but got angry when they didn’t get any. Hence, they created their own by accusing her of stealing the necklace. Still, that doesn’t explain why they filed charges the same day she took the necklace. You’d think they’d give her at least a day to get them publicity.

Although, I like how Lindsay is dumb enough to think her paid assistant and friend, two people who directly benefit from her not going to prison, are reliable witnesses. This is like having your pet dog as a character witness. Of course its going to nod its head and lick your face and treat you like a god since you’re the one feeding it every day.

The D.A.’s office issued a statement to an LA wire service that no decision has been made regarding the Lindsay Lohan necklace theft case. However, TMZ insists the District Attorney will charge her with grand theft and file the case as early as Monday.

If convicted, Lindsay could face a maximum of three years in state prison. Sources say Lindsay is sticking with her story that she borrowed the $2,500 necklace and the whole thing was a misunderstanding.
And since Lindsay is currently on probation, this case would directly impact her ongoing DUI case in Beverly Hills.

Can we treat her like a normal person now? When a warrant is issued for her arrest, can the police just kick in her door while she’s half-naked eating that sandwich she stole from a homeless guy like they would anybody else? It’s been about 4 years since she starred in a movie. 6 years since she starred in anything remotely popular. If you graphed her career, there would be a steady climb up the y-axis of fame until about 2008-2009 where there would be a slight, but noticeable drop. In late 2009-2010, the line would plummet down the y-axis so fast into negative space that it’d shatter the x-axis into a million pieces.

Jaime Pressly, whose best role will always be Poison Ivy: The New Seduction, was arrested Wednesday night on suspicion of drunk driving. Jaime was stopped by police at around 11 PM after she committed a traffic violation.

Police administered a field sobriety test. She obviously failed because she was arrested and booked on suspicion of DUI.

Jaime was taken to Santa Monica jail and her bail set to $15,000, $10,000 above the normal DUI bail.

TMZ says the only time bail is set that high is if there was a child in the car, there was a car accident or the driver’s blood-alcohol level is higher than .15. Neither a child was in the car or an accident occurred.

Pressly will most likely face hard time. “1,000 straight hours of petting puppies and kittens,” the LA court judge will say stroking his handlebar mustache.

Dawn Holland could face a federal investigation and a civil suit for violating HIPPA.

” I agree that Holland is behind the 8-ball,” Santa Monica Criminal defense attorney Steve Cron told RadarOnline.com. “Everyone knows that LL (Lindsay Lohan) was a patient at the Betty Ford Center, but it’s an entirely different story to give details about her treatment and possible violations of program rules.”

Cron, the expert defense lawyer, says he believes Holland was ok calling police about the Lohan alleged incident – but committed a crime by then giving the information to TMZ.

“I didn’t have a problem with her (Holland) notifying the police to report a crime (i.e. battery), but to go to TV with TMZ, and to get paid for it, is a blatant violation of HIPPA, for which she could be prosecuted criminally and sued civilly,” Cron told RadarOnline.com.

“I see no likelihood of BFC getting prosecuted criminally because they didn’t do anything to violate HIPAA, and in fact, immediately fired the employee who had disclosed information. BFC could easily be sued civilly because in a civil context they’re responsible for the actions of their employees.”

Radar adds TMZ could face criminal investigation and prosecution for accepting confidential documents from Dawn.

Lindsay must be the luckiest person alive. She’s gotten out of every kind of trouble that she’s brought on herself simply because she once was a popular actress. So if you’ve ever wanted to kill a hooker and get away with it, try getting famous first.

The only things I know about Sam Jones III is he played Clark Kent’s friend Pete Ross on Smallville and he released a sex tape with his girlfriend Karissa Shannon. Turns out he’s a lot more interesting than I give him credit for because he was the “Hollywood Connection” in a conspiracy to sell more than 10,000 pills of oxycodone.

Arrested in 2009, Sam was in LA Federal court on Thursday where he plead guilty to conspiring to sell the oxycodone. He now faces up to 20 years in jail. Sentencing will be in June.

Apparently being an actor on a long running series and releasing a video of you banging a Playboy twin isn’t enough to pay the bills. That’s why instead of selling drugs, I moonlight as an international model. You can see me in publications such as “Pet Grooming Monthly” and “I Knit My Cat Sweaters.”

Wesley Snipes is in the custody of federal authorities and on his way to federal prison to begin his 3 year sentence for tax evasion.

Wesley was found guilty in 2008 for not paying taxes on the $38 million he’s earned since 1999. He’s been appealing ever since. Today a U.S. District Court judge, clearly tired of his shenanigans, ordered him to surrender immediately. “The Defendant Snipes had a fair trial … The time has come for the judgment to be enforced.”

On the bright side, the taxes he withheld from the government can easily buy him 100,000 cigarettes for use as prison currency. He’ll live like a king and might not even be raped!

James Jay Lee strapped an explosive to his body and took his gun to the Discovery Channel headquarters in Silver Spring, MD this afternoon and is now holding the place hostage.

A bunch of babies in cribs were wheeled out for fear James may harm them as they were the central point of his manifesto. In the manifesto, Lee demanded the Discovery Channel immediately stop “encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants.” Lee is is a known radical environmentalist who’s protested the Discovery Channel for years. He’s also been arrested in the past.

Police are currently negotiating with Lee. Police are also negotiating with a bunch babies to stop crying for their mommy.

Paris Hilton tweeted about an hour ago that she was woken up by a guy trying to break into her house with two knives. She posted the photo above with the caption, “So Scary, just got woken up to a guy trying to break into my house holding 2 big knifes. Cops are here arresting him.”

Police confirmed that a man in his 40′s was arrested at her home at 6:30 AM and taken to a local jail. Paris said the man was banging on her windows.

Sources claim Paris saw the guy on security cameras and called the cops. She was told the guy was “armed and dangerous” and that she was lucky he didn’t find  away in.

Looks like our plan to scare Paris into never leaving her house and, thereby, never having to read about her again failed, guys. Time to move on to Plan B. A man with THREE knives.

Not only is Snooki being charged with disorderly conduct and creating a public nuisance for her July 30th arrest for public intoxication, but she will also be charged with annoying people on a beach.

Snooki’s attorney entered not guilty pleas for all three charges at a hearing in Seaside Heights on Wednesday. If convicted, Snooki faces $2,000 in fines which will realistically be $500 since her lawyer claims she’s never been in trouble before.

Snooki has vowed to change her ways because of this which you all know is going to happen. Yep. That’s right. This midget who’s paid to be annoying and drunk as hell is going to be a perfect little angel from now on.

Although Paris Hilton denies it, punny sites like the New York Daily News are reporting that “chronic offender,” the “dopey Paris Hilton,” was busted for possession of marijuana for the second time in a month.

Flying in from Paris, authorities at the airport of the French island of Corsica, found less than a gram of weed in Paris HIlton’s purse but they decided not to charge her. She was later released.

Paris took to Twitter to deny all charges: “So sick of people making up rumors about me. The latest one about me is completely false too. Don’t believe what you read. Silly nonsense.”

One day someone should plant a brick of heroin on her and get her jailed in a third world country. That way whenever you hear the name Paris Hilton, it will always be accompanied by “was beaten in prison again.”

[Fame]

Paris Hilton was arrested in South Africa on suspicion of possession of marijuana today. She showed up at the courtroom late Friday. Happy 4th, bitches.

Hilton was detained in Port Elizabeth earlier Friday for possession of marijuana charges, two South African police officers said.

A spokeswoman for police at Port Elizabeth, Brig. Marinda Mills, declined to confirm the name, but said a high profile person was appearing in court.

“This person is appearing in court right now. We cannot reveal information about her until she has appeared in court. I am here with the individual in court, we’re waiting for the court to start,” Mills told the Associated Press.

Hilton’s Los Angeles-based publicist, Dawn Miller, said she was awaiting details from the court appearance before commenting.

“She was found in possession of some amount of dagga,” the officer said, using the local name for marijuana. “We don’t know how much. It’s a high profile person, only the top cops are dealing with it,” he said.

Bwahaha. Too bad this is in South Africa though. They should ship her to North Africa. Based on thousands of years of stereotyping in movies, the judge in North Africa is basically a lion and the bailiffs are 10-year-olds with machine guns and there’s no guilty or not guilty. There’s just “how fast can you run?”

Header picture is when Paris first went to jail.