The movie version of Dallas is having major problems. The latest report is the whole cast has been dropped except for John Travolta who plays JR Ewing. That means Luke Wilson, Shirley MacLaine and Meg Ryan are all gone. They now want to reduce the $65 million budget due to “market research” indicating there isn’t much recognition from the young adult and teen crowd. “Market research” is in quotes because you don’t need a college degree to figure out 99% of the elusive 18-24 demographic don’t give a shit about Dallas. The least they could do is throw in a hand job for subjecting us to this piss poor excuse of a movie.

(Oddly enough Jennifer Lopez was the first to realize the movie was gonna suck and dropped out)

Jessica Biel is expensive: Jessica Biel has been auctioned off for $30,000 to benefit some girl who lost her leg on prom night after being dragged by a Hummer stretch limousine. The event itself generated $44,000. Jessica was not there in person for the auction, but she recorded a voice message promising she was a cheap date. The winner and her will meet for lunch at which point he will freak her out.

Venom makes his debut: The first images of Venom have appeared on Sony’s website. It reminds me of Star Trek which can never be a good thing.

The Fountain trailer: The Fountain trailer has finally appeared after a long time. Darren Aronofsky is still trippy, but this trailer did not kick as much ass as the teasers for 300 or Grindhouse. Sorry Darren.

TMNT trailer: The CG animated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie also debuted a trailer. I am literally suprised because this looks like some kind of awesome. I have some issues about how they look, but the CG is seriously great.

Scarlett Johansson is in Dallas: Add one more name to the Dallas remake. Scarlett Johansson is signed to play Lucy Ewing. Grouping Scarlett with Jennifer Lopez and Katie Cassidy is like putting a diamond in a bucket full of semen.

Veronic Mars: Kristen Bell is prettier in person. The rest of the cast is just as genius as the show. Rob Thomas revealed that since Veronica Mars is moving to the new CW network, they need to post good ratings in order to stay on the air. Their new time slot is after the train wreck that is Gilmore Girls. If Veronica Mars isn’t able to post the same or better ratings than the Gilmore Girls, then I’m to believe that I’m in an alternate dimension called hell.

Iron Man poster: Iron Man also got a poster. Uhh ok. Coming to a theater near you in 2 years. Great.

Poor Jessica Simpson. First she starts on the path of ugly and now she’s been beaten out by Katie Cassidy for the role of Lucy Ewing on the Dallas movie. The bizzare thing is that Katie Cassidy has more acting experience than Jessica Simpson. David Cassidy’s daughter has been in 7th Heaven, Click and also in the upcoming movie Live! with Eva Mendes.

I’m not going to mention that she also beat out Kristin Cavallari for the role because everyone knows that was some sort of joke. One of these pictures tells an interesting story of how even Sloth from The Goonies would look good standing next to Kimberley Stewart.