NBC announced today that they’ve signed a deal with Dane Cook to develop a half-hour sitcom starring Mr. Superfinger slated to launch next Fall. Cook recently guest starred on Louie last month where he and Louis C.K. addressed the joke-stealing controversy.

What is this? TDW adds that multiple networks wanted to sign Cook with NBC ending up on top. There. Is. No. God!

If he makes this sitcom loosely based on his life as a comedian in LA, I might have to salute him for being the greatest irl  troll ever.

Dane Cook, Jeremy Piven and Kid Rock were all in Vegas and huddled together to take this picture of them giving the camera the finger. So. Bad Ass. If this picture was scratch-n-sniff, it would probably smell like vinegar.

Dane Cook gave Vanessa Hudgens a shout out at the Teen Choice Awards on Sunday. Sort of. He tried to make a funny about the second set of nude pics of her that leaked online. Here’s the video. Verdict: Dane cook, still not funny, but he’s great at making people feel awkward.

Cook went up to present the Choice Hottie award and before he did, he shouted out for Vanessa Hudgens. Hudgens, excited, waved. Her enthusiasm didn’t last long though. Cook then said, “Girl. You gots to keep yo clothes on. Phones are for phone calls, girl.” Cue the nervous laughter. You can actually see the expression change on Vanessa’s face. Almost as if someone took a dump on her lap. It’s like that Simpsons episode where Lisa goes up on stage and tells everyone in the audience that she doesn’t love Ralph. Then when she gets home, Bart replays the exact scene where Ralph’s heart breaks over and over again. In this case, that happens at the 30 second mark.

Dane Cook was booed at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards on Sunday after joking, “Vanessa Hudgens! – Girl you got to keep your clothes on!” Cook was presenting the Choice Hottie Awards to Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox.

Maybe Dane didn’t realize he was at an awards show created for 14-year-olds who idolize Miley Cyrus and High School Musical. Even the mere mention of a blemish thought to be seen on Zac Efron’s face causes the accuser to be beaten mercilessly with lip gloss and compacts. Edgy jokes for them revolve around how Miley Cyrus almost showed up to prom in her pj’s.

Then again, maybe Dane Cook just isn’t funny which is the case 100% of the time. “Girl you got to keep your clothes on!” Haha, get it? Because Hudgens had her nude photos leaked on the web for a second time. How timely! Who did he steal this joke from?

Dane Cook’s half-brother, Darryl McCauley, has been in charge of Dane’s finances since the 90′s, but today he’ll in all likelihood no longer hold that esteemed position. That’s because according to TMZ, Darryl was arrested and charged with three counts of larceny and forgery. Darryl allegedly faked a $3 million check and gave himself an early or late Christmas present. The Boston Globe goes into more detail saying Darryl bilked Cook out of his money over the past 18 months.

As business manager, he would manage his client’s financial affairs, including the receipt and payment of bills, and the receipt and deposit of income and revenue from various businesses his client controlled.

Between July 2007 and December 2008, prosecutors say, McCauley stole millions of dollars from his former client’s business accounts by transferring funds to his own personal accounts. In one instance, he allegedly forged Cook’s signature for a $3 million check from the entertainer’s account to himself.

McCauley used the money for personal use, Coakley’s office said, and an investigation is ongoing.

Darryl probably didn’t even need to steal from Dane. They seemed pretty close so Dane would have given him whatever he needed. Maybe not $3 million or however much he was stealing, but maybe another cheeseburger to go with his extra value meal. But absolutely no supersizing. Let’s not get too crazy.

A judge has decided to evict Dane Cook from his Hollywood apartment because he would not pick up his dog’s crap despite constant complaints from residents. Dane, however, is not going down without a fight. The frat boy hero comedian contends that he receives inspiration from the fact that Belushi and Martin used to live in the same complex and if he leaves, he would suffer from “mental and emotional” damage. Cook explains:

“I know that the presence of those that have lived there before me affects me deeply and provides me with inspiration. In the same way that writers can get writer’s block, comedians can really easily run out of ideas and ‘stories’; I am extremely frightened that this will happen to me if I am forced to move out of my apartment. I’ve seen it happen to other comics, that something interferes with their connection to their creative muse, and it’s destroyed careers.”

Fortunately for Dane, he’ll never run out of material. Unless a giant meteor comes crashing down to Earth and takes out every single comedian he’s planning to steal from, in which case, “fuck!”

While filming a kissing scene for Good Luck Chuck, Jessica Alba lost a tooth after she clashed teeth with Dane Cook. Her publicist is spinning it saying it was just a chipped tooth.

First I find out Jessica Alba is walking around with Wilmer Valderrama and now I find out she’s missing a tooth after making out with an overrated comedian. She might as well grow a wart on her nose, buy a broomstick and walk around telling fat kids that they’re plump enough to eat because there are way too many fat kids in the world.

Continuing with the Jessica Alba news and the Jessica Alba sucking on something pictures, Alba has signed on as the female lead in asshole Dane Cook’s comedy, Good Luck Chuck. Jessica Alba is on a roll securing work. Good Luck Chuck is:

From a script by Josh Stolberg, the project stars Cook as a serial dater who has gained a reputation. After he dates a woman she will rebound and immediately find her soul mate. He soon meets the woman of his dreams and must find a way to keep her from breaking up with him. Alba will play the woman he wants to settle down with.

This sounds like the concept of The Cooler with William H. Macy, except instead of gambling, it’s with women. Alba is also going to be shooting Fantastic Four 2 and Sin City 2 in the future. This means more spandex and skimpy cowgirl outfits which is a win-win for everyone.

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I still don’t see why some people worship Dane Cook. For every joke he tells, he has to start yelling thinking the louder it is, the funnier it is. On Tuesday, he sent an e-mail to his fans to have them go to a taping of his Tourgasm show, a once in a lifetime chance presumably. Instead of getting to see a show, they waited around for 5 hours in the sun to get free Fuze and a 10 minute speech. Congratulations Dane, you managed to piss off all your fans in one day.

They were also filming everyone so each and every fan was just an unpaid extra who had to buy their own food. When the Tourgasm finale comes on HBO and you see excited fans everywhere, you’ll realize that they were just pawns used to make Dane Cook seem popular.

Keep reading to see the invites.

The first message:

Hey everybody -

Check it out: if you would like to be a part of the filming for the finale of my new HBO show Tourgasm, and if you’re one of the first people to reply to Tourgasm@nwe.com, you might be eligible for an invitation.

We will randomly select a large number of fans to join us for this once in a lifetime episode.

The date of this event is June 13th at 5:00PM, and on that day at 8:00AM, if chosen you will receive an e-mail with the exact location of the event, which is within 30 miles of Hollywood.

Why all the secrecy? Because it’s not only a surprise for you, but for me and the cast as well! Hope to see you there!

Second message:

CONGRATULATIONS! You have been selected to be an on-camera guest for the last episode of Dane Cook’s Tourgasm for HBO!!!

The event will be held on Tuesday, June 13th at 3:30pm. Location details will be sent to you at 8am on the 13th but it will be about an hour’s drive from Hollywood.

Please email tgr@nwe.com to confirm that you will attend and remember: this invite is for you and one guest only! Please include your guest’s and your first and last name when you RSVP.

Thank you!

Third message:

Here are the location information and the directions for the taping of Tourgasm Season Finale for today, Tuesday, June 13th! Your presence is requested at 3:30PM.

We suggest that you wear comfortable clothes. Be prepared for hot weather. Please be advised that you will not be allowed to bring backpacks or large purses in to the event, so you will be asked to leave all personal items (and cameras) in your car. You will need to show your ID to get in. There will be food for purchase and complimentary water for everyone. This invite, is non-transferable and is for you and your guest only. The Name & Likeness Release have been attached again. If you haven’t already done so, please print out the form and bring the signed copy with you to the event.

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