Late yesterday, PEOPLE reported that Tea Leoni and David Duchovny were divorcing and “have in fact been separated for several months,” which makes this coupley photo taken of them at the Czech Street Festival a lie. Knowing that David Duchovny recently went to rehab for sex addiction, one may think he is to blame. Turns out that’s not true. The Daily Mail says that David found dirty text messages from Billy Bob Thornton on Tea’s phone.

Five-times married Billy Bob met Téa when they made a comedy film together earlier this year called Manure.

Thornton, a musician with his own band, has been seen with Téa at his gigs.

‘She even helps him load and unload his truck,’ says a friend of the couple.

There must be something special about Billy Bob to jeopardize an 11 year marriage to be with him. Some say it’s his charisma, some say it’s his sexual prowess. I say it’s that magical charm he paid a shaman to make him. Occam’s razor, man.

David Duchovny has checked out of sex rehab. His lawyer, Stanton Stein, tells PEOPLE “he successfully completed his treatment.” It turns out, David has been out for a while as he made his way to the Czech Days Festival in NYC with Téa Leoni last Saturday.

For the curious, I called the rehab facility (no I didn’t) about David’s program and they tell me his treatment consisted of whores. And lots of them.

[Image via this place]

David Duchovny checked into rehab at the end of August for sex addiction. Some suspected David cheated on Tea Leoni with his tennis instructor. It was later revealed the sex addiction was actually a porn addiction. Today, The National Enquirer via the Daily Mail goes back to the cheating on wife theory. There’s no mention on who he cheated with, just the fact that Tea found out and gave him an ultimatum: “Get treatment or our marriage is over.”

According to the source, Duchovny has admitted that he is compulsively driven to be unfaithful and finds it impossible to turn down the legions of women who offer themselves to him.

Oh, please. Impossible? Hardly. Just do what I do and put your stuffed animals dressed in halter tops and mini-skirts back in your closet. Temptation gone. Ta-da!

David Duchovny checked into rehab for sex addiction last week. Many assumed that sex addiction meant he was addicted to sleeping with women which in turn meant he was cheating on his wife, Tea Leoni. Specifically, with his tennis instructor. Not so says a friend of Duchovny. FOX News clarifies:

I have inferred from my conversation with Duchovny’s friend that this has something to do with an addiction to pornography, probably on the internet. It’s the sex equivalent of a gambling addiction, where the person is just hopelessly trapped in chat rooms.

Well, that’s lame. Internet porn. Does this mean I’m an addict too? No. Internet porn isn’t even a real addiction. It’s more of a hobby. An 18 hour a day hobby which has turned me into a hermit. I’m dedicated.

David Duchovny has checked into sex rehab. Ironically, Duchovny plays a sort of sex addict in Californication. So, either this is life imitating art or good publicity. In a statement released to PEOPLE, Duchovny explains:

“I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family.”

How is sex addiction diagnosed? And can one be addicted to sex if it’s a solo act? While looking through the neighbor’s window? With the lights off? Or does that just make me a pervert. Uh, I mean “them” not “me”.