David Schwimmer, 43, is engaged to one Zoe Buckman, 24. They met in 2007 in London and dated for 3 years. As you can see, this is fantastic news for the guy who’ll forever be known as Ross from Friends.

The National Enquirer is reporting on a story most likely leaked to get publicity for Jennifer Aniston’s new movie The Baster. A source tells NE that this movie mimics Jennifer Aniston’s life story in that no man wants her so she’s become desperate enough to inseminate herself with backup sperm in order to get pregnant.

“But the real shocker is that she says her top candidate for artificial insemination is David Schwimmer!”

“Jen isn’t afraid of raising a child on her own. She says David is perfect father material because he’s the whole package – handsome, tall, smart and with a full head of hair!”

The second insider added: “The funny thing is that Jen said when she and David were still starring on Friends, they made a pact that if they were both single at 40, they’d elope and start a family together!”

Not even Aniston’s baby could stand her fugly ass. Once that kid develops hands and feet, he’s going to crawl out of her womb in the middle of the night and make a break for it. The only way Jennifer could keep the baby is if she put up steel bars around her uterus like they do on the windows in prisons.

How can Ashley Olsen, a girl with so much promise, turn out so fugly? Her fur coat looks like a poncho she made out of a garbage bag and she has some stupid skull on her foot. A skull? I can’t believe people wanted to bone this chick. She looks like she time traveled from the 40′s just to fug up 2007. Bah. Here’s some other news you may be interested in.

1. Dog the bounty hunter and Carrot Top party in Vegas. Next step for Carrot Top: Remove the penis. [Glitterati]
2. Ashlee Simpson is still on the beach in a bikini. [Celebrity Smack]
3. Renee Zellwegger needs to suck it up. [Celebitchy]
4. Paula Abdul has never been drunk. Yea right. How else would she make it through a whole day? [Evil Beet]
5. The worst films of 2006. I have a guilty obsession in there. It’s up to you to figure out which. [Pajiba]
6. David Schwimmer is still a superstar. Got it? [Celebslam]