Natalie Portman and Venezuelan indie folk rock short shorts wearing musician Devendra Banhart have ended their relationship.

A fan of Banhart’s music, Portman had asked him to donate a track to the charity compilation she curated on iTunes, Big Change: Songs for FINCA. She returned the favor by forgoing her usual fee to appear in the video.

“They got together right after the video shoot,” a source said at the time.

Reasons for the break-up weren’t given, but I think it was because he looks like a fucking weirdo all the time. Listen buddy, I’m the only one here who can pull off short shorts. I’ve been told my legs are amazing.

As reported earlier, Natalie Portman will be in indie/folk singer Devendra Banhart’s new video. What wasn’t reported was that the two may be an item. The world may never know how guys like this end up with Natalie Portman while handsome, strapping young fellows like myself are destined only to have supermodels throw themselves at us. Never an actress. Sigh. One can only assume his manliness, accentuated by his white rimmed sunglasses and purse-like bag, was too great of an aphrodisiac.

When a 10-year-old eating an ice cream cone was asked about the awkward pairing, he ran away screaming, “Sasquatch! Sasquatch!” Ah, yes. Sometimes such wise words come from the unlikeliest of sources.