Lindsay and Ali Lohan are finally telling their mom Dina the truth. That she’s ugly and nobody likes her. Though they put it in a much nicer way.

“My girls are always telling me to cut my hair,” Dina, 49, told Us Weekly at Randi Rahm’s Fashion Week cocktail party in NYC Wednesday. “You know, you think you’re fashion forward, and then you have children who are way more, but you make your own look [work]. But it’s hard when you’re girls are like, ‘Mom, you’re looking scary.’” Us Weekly

People in glass houses, etcetera, etcetera. Did Lindsay even look in a mirror before or after the amfAR gala? She looked like a 35-year-old Real Housewife on Ambien. But more disheveled.

Radar reported yesterday that Lindsay Lohan was visibly drunk at the Chateau Marmont last Sunday. Now “a source close to the actress” says Lindsay is “exploring her legal options with her attorneys because the false stories are sabotaging her effort to save her career.” What Dina Lohan means is Lindsay hasn’t had a job in a while and she could really use the cash.

Lindsay acknowledges she WAS at the party at the Chateau Marmot hotel in Hollywood Sunday night … but insists she was sitting with Alan Cumming the whole time and ONLY drank water. TMZ

Dina Lohan used to worry about which roles her daughter Lindsay should take. Now she just sues over the fake stories she plants.

Don’t think Dina Lohan is above profiting off her own daughter’s troubled life. Clearly Lindsay isn’t earning her much anymore so why not sell her out? Seems like the right thing to do.

Dina is currently shopping her memoir around town and has been as recently as 2 weeks ago. TMZ got a couple of drafts for the prologue and, surprise, surprise, everything is everyone else’s fault.

“I blamed her friends, her career and her handlers for an (sic) newfound lifestyle of partying excessively. Drinking, drugging and behaving irresponsibly became Lindsay’s way of daily living–and it tore me up inside.”

“How could I deny my daughter the chance of a lifetime? How could I hold Lindsay back from her dream of becoming an actress? So, I listened to others and sent my daughter to Hollywood with a few pieces of luggage and a chaperone.” TMZ

Poor Dina was so helpless. How could she support her daughter when she had to sit at home and wait for those commission checks to come in. Dina’s hands were tied. She did everything she could. She even sent a chaperone with Lindsay to Hollywood. As far as Dina was concerned, she went above and beyond what was expected from a parent. We should be celebrating her, not telling her what a terrible mother she was to Lindsay by taking a wait and see attitude.

Last week, RumorFix released a photo of Dina Lohan making out with her daughter Lindsay Lohan at Dina’s 49th birthday party at Beauty & Essex in New York City. At least that’s what looks like is happening in the pictures.

You may be thinking, “Hey, Mr. Blogger Man, you’re obviously jumping to conclusions because it looks like Dina’s mouth is on Lindsay’s chin and they’re just in a warm embrace.” Well, may I remind you that Dina and Lindsay are gigantic attention whores. This is probably postcoital.

And yes, that is Dina’s son/Lindsay’s brother sitting next to them trying to forget, an ability he’s had to master while growing up with his sisters.

More pictures at RumorFix.

Fashion News Live interviewed Dina Lohan about her fantasy life. She starts off by saying she can’t reveal the Australian designer of her dress because he’s new. *Rolls eyes* Dina then goes into how she’s executive producing a film with her son Michael (this one that will never get made), how Lindsay is slated to be in 3 to 4 films (that will also probably never be made), Ali signing as a model and then goes into how she used to be a dancer and how she’s been in the entertainment business for a long time. She mentions this and being a single mom over and over in case we forgot.

At one point, Dina expresses a desire to start a management company for children. What a great idea. Just look at the heights she’s brought Lindsay to. Parent Trap, jail, probation, jail, probation, out of work actress. Now she’s set to repeat the success with Ali and Michael. She’s like King Midas with her golden touch.

I must say though, her fantasy life sounds terrific. I wish I could live off my delusions like Dina.

Dina Lohan has been sending a business plan around to investors asking for $5.28 million to shoot an R-rated movie titled Growing Defiant. A film which takes “a hard look at the social pressures that can lead a kid in the wrong direction.” *Rolls eyes*

Believing she has what it takes to produce a movie isn’t even the crazy part. The crazy part is she thinks she can cast some big names. She’s aiming for Dakota Fanning, Selena Gomez, Michael Cera, James Gandolfini, Susan Sarandon, Tina Fey, Amanda Seyfried, Hayden Panettiere, Emma Stone and Mila Kunis.

The even crazier part is none of these people will even star. No, no. The star of this Dina Lohan joint will be none other than Michael Lohan Jr., her son, who will play the heroin addict.

Now here’s the best part. There’s an asterisk at the bottom of the plan, which reads, “The cast listed above is a suggested cast list only. Michael Lohan is the only cast member who has been signed.”

And Dina apparently thinks big actors will do anything to sign on, because she’s allotting a grand total of $1,125,000 for actors’ fees. — TMZ

Dina might as well ask for a spaceship to Mars because this will never happen. $1.125m for actors’ fees? A better payment plan would be to get these actors some of whatever she’s smoking. Dina is so dense that she’ll sit there for 10 minutes while execs laugh in her face and when they stop to take a breath, she’ll ask, “So… is that a yes?” My god, I think this woman could be legally retarded.

Dina Lohan confirms that the entire family is wiping the Lohan from their names. Dina and her daughter Ali will change their last names to Sullivan, Dina’s maiden name, while Lindsay will drop her last name completely making her just “Lindsay” like Madonna. Okay, eye roll, but I’ll humor her. How long has she been thinking about doing it?

Lindsay had been thinking about dropping her surname for some time but at first thought no one would know who she was. It was only after the infamous Super Bowl E-trade advertisement referring to a baby as “that milkaholic Lindsay,” that the actress knew she no longer needed it.

You mean she realized the time was right when she saw a commercial using a common name that had nothing to do with her except in her own twisted mind? Wow. This is confusing. How does the Earth revolve around Lindsay and me at the same time?

Also, why exactly are they changing their names anyway and won’t it be confusing?

“So many of the greatest people in showbiz are known by just their first name. Look at Oprah and Beyonce. Now you can add Lindsay to that list,” a family friend tells me. “And it’s a way for them all to start over. No one in the family want anything to do with Lindsay’s father [Michael Lohan] anymore and that includes sharing a last name.”

Putting Lindsay in the same sentence as Beyonce and Oprah is laughable. Though not as laughable as thinking a name change will give them a fresh start. That’s like thinking that by putting on glasses, a fake nose and a fake mustache, no one will recognize you. I bet the Lohans still get giggly when people play peekaboo with them.

The cast of Glee allegedly apologized to Lindsay Lohan for making fun of her on their Gwyneth Paltrow episode even though they didn’t really make fun of her, just stated facts in a humorous way. You’d think they’d be done mocking the Lohans after this, but no, they’re much too easy of a target.

On last night’s Super Bowl episode of Glee, Katie Couric did a mock segment with Sue Sylvester on being named “loser of the year.” Katie said, in a vote, Sue beat out “the economy, Mel Gibson, the housing market, Dina Lohan, Wall Street, Tiger Woods, the Dallas Cowboys, Brett Favre’s cell phone, 9% unemployment and Sparky Lohan, who is Dina Lohan’s dog and apparently also a loser.” A friend of Dina Lohan said she didn’t find it funny. Oh, boo hoo.

“They are all a bunch of bullies,” my source seethes. “Dina is hurt and shocked and hasn’t done anything to deserve this constant teasing from this show.”

Not doing anything may be part of the problem. If Dina got off her ass and did something besides riding her daughter’s coattails, maybe Lindsay wouldn’t be running around stealing $2,500 necklaces. Here’s a thought. Be a mom instead of a fame sucking leech like Lindsay’s other friends. Dina probably wants none of that though. If you said that to Dina’s face, she’d probably go, “Whoa, whoa. Let’s not get too drastic,” and then try to pitch her reality show to you.

Not only has Lindsay Lohan been receiving strange messages to stay away from her mother, father and Sam Lutfi but Dina and Lindsay’s brother have also been getting similar harassing calls.

Lindsay has since been moved to a different location by Betty Ford for her protection but now Dina, driven by her sense of self-importance, has passed on the messages to the FBI who say they’re “looking into it.” Hopefully that’s FBI speak for “not our damn problem.”

Last Tuesday, Gwyneth Paltrow guest starred on Glee as Spanish substitute teacher Holly Holiday who taught her students the language by throwing jabs at Lindsay Lohan.

Paltrow’s character asks in Spanish, “Lindsay Lohan is totally crazy, right?,” and then, quizzes, “How many times has Lindsay Lohan been to rehab?,” to which she replies “Five times.”  Later, when she needs to talk to a student privately, she tells them, “Please get into groups and discuss how many times Lindsay Lohan has been in rehab.”

Suffice to say, Dina Lohan got wind of this episode and thought to herself, “How can I make money off of this?” She came up with the bright idea of suing Glee for defamation.

Dina wrote in a letter, “Our lawyers are sending a letter” to “Glee” on the grounds that the show allegedly defamed the actress who, by all accounts, is working hard on her recovery.

The best defense for defamation is the truth and the truth is, Lindsay has been to rehab 5 times. Although you wouldn’t expect Dina to know this because back in August when she appeared on the Today Show, Dina corrected Matt Lauer saying Lindsay had only been to rehab twice at that point. When Lauer once again said it was Lindsay’s fourth visit, Dina corrected him once more saying it was her third. Lindsay’s dad later issued a statement saying it was her fourth.

According to Dina, she has a case because Lindsay has been to rehab 2 or 3 times at the most. But who really knows or cares? They’re just numbers. Dina just wants to focus on the important issues like how much is Glee willing to settle for out of court and if she can get residuals.

Dina Lohan showed up on Today where she finally admitted Lindsay Lohan has a drug problem despite years of denial.

She says Lindsay is a changed person from only five weeks of rehab. “She’s just a different person. She’s been in a couple facilities, but this one to me has really changed her.” Consider that this rehab isn’t really a rehab because Lindsay can leave to shop and get Starbucks whenever she wants. The only thing that’s changed is she’s gotten pretty good at escaping a real jail sentence.

When asked why Dina denied her daughter was a drug abuser the last time she was on Today, Dina gave an excuse she found in a fortune cookie.

“Yes,” she is comfortable admitting Lindsay is an addict, Dina told Lauer. And the reason she’d been unwilling to admit as much before was because Lindsay had to admit it first. “As a mother it wasn’t for me to come and tell the world about her problem … I wasn’t in denial. It was for her to come to her evolution. As a mother we protect. Now I’m happy and relieved myself.”

Translation: I didn’t want to publicly admit Lindsay had a problem because she was still my golden goose but now there’s hard evidence she took cocaine so I kind of have to.

Dina later whispered in Matt Lauer’s ear, “Do you guys do direct deposit?”

The counselors at Betty Ford have advised Lindsay to fire her mom from her business empire if she wants to keep sober. They want Dina Lohan to be her mother and quit scheming about how big of a cut she can get from one of Lindsay’s jobs.

“Lindsay feels the financial burden of taking care of her entire family. “It’s enormous pressure for any person in their twenties, let alone someone that is battling with addiction.”

The source added, “Lindsay and Dina don’t have a normal mother-and-daughter dynamic because of the length of time that Dina has worked for Lindsay.”

“She is strong enough to tell Dina that she doesn’t want her to work for her anymore,” added the source, who has direct knowledge of the situation. “It’s partly because it has been the norm for so long and Lindsay doesn’t know what her career would look like without her mom’s involvement.”

Dina Lohan almost had a heart attack when she read this. The only mothering she knows is how many bags to take from a gifting suite before anyone gets suspicious.

Dina Lohan spoke with Matt Lauer on Today about, who else, Lindsay Lohan. Dina begins the interview by bragging, “Actually, the judge is now being recused. We have a new judge on the case. I don’t know if you know that. It just happened two days ago. So I think she went overboard and played serious hardball with Lindsay.”

Dina was then asked if Lindsay deserved jail time for her offense. She replied that Lindsay didn’t violate anything (she did) and she just missed a couple of classes that she made up and she was working at the time (she wasn’t). Then Dina once again goes back to how Judge Marsha Revel took herself off the case like it’s proof that Revel had it out for Lindsay.

Other important points in the interview include:

- Lindsay will be getting out of rehab early
- The media is a bunch of liars intent on pushing their propaganda to sell magazines
- Lindsay was in jail with murderers (implying she didn’t belong) and that she’s made friends with some of them
- According to Dina, Lindsay has only been in rehab twice
- She says she’s been there for Lindsay and then says she let Lindsay go to LA when she was 19 and let her fall and fail alone because without failure, there is no success. Uh huh.
- Dina was in the entertainment industry too! Although, no one knows it.

One of the biggest reasons Lindsay is the way she is is because her own mother makes excuses for her. She did nothing wrong, poor little lamb. Everyone is out to get her. They just want to see her fall. See? Dina can prove it because even the judge had to recuse herself before she was fired. A fact she mentions 10 times in the interview.

Ugh. Lindsay is surrounded by so many yes-men that she believes nothing she does is wrong. Lindsay could have been raised by wolves and came out with a better sense of responsibility.