Diora Baird is FHM’s October cover girl. Diora is in 30 Days of Night: Dark Days which is why they shot her half naked on black sheets. Don’t you get it? Vampires -> Black -> Darkness. Man, forget it. I don’t even know why I bother explaining things to you.

Unsexy Update: According to Diora Baird on Twitter, these are prosthetic. *Silently sobs*

A lot can be said about Diora Baird but I can’t think of a single thing because I’m too busy staring at her perfect breasts which she unleashed in the straight-to-dvd movie Night of the Demons. I hope she won’t think it too forward of me to ask for her hand in marriage. Or just a picture of her hand. One that I can lie next to while I sleep.

Awesome NSFW topless action starts here. Animated gif of said topless action here.

Diora Baird has a nice body and big tits (not just big, mind you, humongous) so it makes sense that people from FHM would want to photograph her for their latest issue. They hid behind the fact that this is relevant because she’s in the new Star Trek movie which by early reports sounds amazing. Although, there was some rumor that she was removed in the final cut, but whatever. I doubt that’s true. That’s like taking the smile off the Mona Lisa or making a statue of Zeus only 2 inches tall.

More of Diora at FHM.

Diora Baird isn’t a particularly great actress, but because this is Hollywood, you can bypass talent to achieve fame if you’re pretty enough and have big breasts. Which is why Diora is such an inspiration to me. I hope after my breast enhancement producers will look at me differently. And hopefully it won’t be a look of “why did that dude get such huge tits?” Because that would be disappointing. Cross my fingers.

Diora Baird is in an upcoming movie called Young People Fucking, possibly about young people fucking. Don’t quote me on that though. The title is very cryptic. IMDB says,

“Young People Fucking” is a smart and fast-paced comedy that intertwines the stories of 5 couples over the course of one sexual encounter. As the couples attempt to have some seemingly straight forward sex, they run into all sorts of problems.

I wonder if they have the same problems I have such as women always making me chase after them. Down the street. Sigh. Always playing hard to get. I hate that. They always say, “Go away or I’m calling the cops!” Sure baby. I know you want to have sex with me. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have walked past me you saucy little minx, you. Anyway, here’s Ms. Big Boobs half-naked doing a promo shoot for the movie.

The Texas Chainsaw Masscare site went up today along with the trailer. Because marketing thinks they’re so clever, they made it so you can only watch it between 10pm and 4am. I’m guessing they think it will be scarier at night what with the nightmare inducing footage. The joke is on them though, I sleep with a night-light and I have a rubber bedspread.

If you have better things to do than wait to watch a trailer between 10pm and 4am, then here’s a link to the large version and another one to the hi-def version which is sitting there on Apple.

Some pics of Diora Baird (1 NSFW) who’s in the movie and was in Wedding Crashers.

Update: It’s not marketing’s idea for the times, it’s the MPAA with their dumb rules that anybody with time can get past, like yours truly.