Bam Margera is an idiot and, surprise, so is his uncle Don Vito. In February of this year, Vito molested three underage girls. Details weren’t released at the time and everyone sort of forgot about it, but it’s out there again today as Vito faces 12 counts of violating probation.

He is accused of grabbing the buttocks of a 12-year-old girl and the breasts of two other girls, ages 12 and 14. Margera pleaded not guilty and is free on $50,000 bond; he faces six years in prison if convicted. Prosecutors announced the bail-violation charges yesterday, but no details were released.

This guy has problems. He looks like he’s in a perpetual stupor. I wouldn’t let him near a dog park let alone a school yard because he’ll grab anything with tits. You could put Vito in a morgue and he’d be squeezing the boobs of dead girls. Jesus, this guy is creepy.

Don Vito has been ordered to stand trial for fondling three underage girls at an MTV appearance. He has been charged with three counts of sexual assault on a child. A conviction could lead to at least probation and at most six years in prison.

During a preliminary hearing, prosecutors presented evidence — including statements from the girls and photos from their camera phones — that Margera, 50, fondled the two 12-year-old girls and the 14-year-old girl, the district attorney’s office said in a statement.

Don Vito’s really using that Jackass / Viva La Bam fame to get him some tail. Why anything with a vagina would step within his arm’s reach is beyond me. I know resisting his sweet talk which amounts to garbled profanities is hard, but most girls manage to do it. You’d be safer stuffing your head in a turkey and putting it in a crocodile’s mouth.

PageSix is reporting that Pontius from Jackass has made a recording about the time Bam Margera and Jessica Simpson hooked up and it describes a “kinky form of intercourse”. Jessica and Bam supposedly hooked up last year while Jessica was still with Nick and Bam still had his girlfriend. She was then also rumored to have been with Johnny Knoxville.

I’m not sure what qualifies as kinky intercourse to these people, but going by how Jessica looks, I would have to say donkey punch. Sadly, any kind of fornication with a douche just lowers her standing on my list.

In other Jackass news, Bam Margera’s uncle Don Vito was arrested Friday night and held without bond on charges of sexually assaulting a child. The charges include inappropriate touching during a skateboard event at Lakewood mall. There wasn’t just one incident, there were two incidents of sexual assault on a child.

It didn’t say what kind of touching it was, but anytime Don Vito touches someone it’s inappropriate. Have you ever seen the guy? He’s fat and no one understands what he’s saying. They have to actually put up subtitles whenever he speaks, so it’s not like he can communicate his intentions. He could have just been really hungry and mistaken the girl for a pretzel or something.