The Blemish

'doutzen kroes' Posts

Doutzen Kroes Looks Pretty Good in a Bikini

Doutzen Kores walked around Miami, Florida Thursday afternoon showing off her toned abs and making every woman cry into their molten lava cakes. That is to say, she looked pretty ... Read More »

Michael Bay Filming Another Victoria’s Secret Commercial

Michael Bay has filmed commercials for Victoria’s Secret for the past two years. I heard the girls loved being demeaned so much they asked him back for another one. Michael ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes and Bar Refaeli in Cannes

Doutzen Kroes and the newly single Bar Refaeli were ostensibly the best thing about The Beaver premiere in Cannes. Doutzen wore a form fitting white dress while Bar wore a ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes Back in a Bikini

Victoria’s Secret model Doutzen Kroes gave birth eight weeks ago and between then and now, she’s already gotten back into bikini shape. Naturally, she flaunted it in everyone’s face by ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes is married

Victoria’s Secret model Doutzen Kroes married her boyfriend, producer, DJ, Sunnery James, in a small, private ceremony in her Dutch hometown of Eastermar. The wedding took place in front of the ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes is modeling

I’m not sure what the photographer’s instructions for Doutzen Kroes was. “Look sexy!” “Now crawl on the ground like there’s gunfire above your head!” “Now scale that wall like you’re ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes is backstage

Here’s some behind the scenes shots of Victoria’s Secret Doutzen Kroes. If I was that guy tying her bikini, I’d make sure to tie it really loose. That way I ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes is busy

Doutzen Kroes hit up St. Barths to do a photo shoot for Victoria’s Secret. Which is complete bs if you think about it. My basement has a bunch of rocks ... Read More »

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2009

The annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show took place last night in New York. You’ll probably be really excited watching a bunch of hot chicks like Heidi Klum, Alessandra Ambrosio, Marisa ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes is in lingerie

Here’s my former lover Doutzen Kroes modeling lingerie for Victoria’s Secret. We broke up because she couldn’t understand why I had to sleep with the other VS models. She wanted ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes and Alessandra Amborsio want to tell you something

I can’t decide who I want to bang more: Doutzen Kroes or Alessandra Ambrosio. Sigh. It’s times like these when I wish I had one of those cool voting option ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes is at the beach

Victoria’s Secret model Doutzen Kroes hit the beach the other day and looked like she was about to hump her boyfriend in the ocean. That is her boyfriend, right? Because ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes is naked all the time

What is this? The fifth time I’m posting about Victoria’s Secret Model Doutzen Kroes being naked? It’s like she’s the only one reading my letters. What’s up with that, other ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes is fashionable

Newest Victoria’s Secret model Doutzen Kroes is seen here at a photoshoot wearing the world’s greatest bra. It’s completely see-through. She might as well have put saran wrap or a ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes and Raquel Zimmermann are naked

Ever wanted to know what it’s like to have x-ray vision? Ever wanted to bang a supermodel? While I can’t help you with the last one (I don’t like to ... Read More »

The Angels were at the beach

I don’t know how I missed this, but prior to the fashion show, all the Victoria’s Secret angels hit the beach in their bikinis to taunt us mere mortals with ... Read More »

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2008

Every year, Victoria’s Secret has their lingerie fashion show and every year I check my mailbox for an invite and every year I find a reminder from the court telling ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes does a fitting

Newest Victoria’s Secret Angel Doutzen Kroes went to NY for a secret Victoria’s Show Fitting. In related news. Victoria’s Secret gave me the wrong directions to this secret fitting. I ... Read More »

Doutzen Kroes was at the beach

Newly minted Victoria’s Secret Angel Doutzen Kroes hung out at Maimi beach over the weekend. She looks decent, but why is she so shifty? Looking at the picture above you’d ... Read More »