Yesterday was a landmark day for Eddie Cibrian. He was on top of the world. Not only did he find out NBC canceled his show The Playboy Club after only three episodes but he ended up with a huge, annoying gash. And I’m not talking about LeAnn Rimes. Haha, no, seriously, offensive jokes aside, he actually did end up with a huge gash on his heel.

Eddie Cibrian was hurt Tuesday night on the Chicago set of The Playboy Club, according to a report, adding injury to insult on a day when NBC canceled the much-maligned period drama.

Cibrian, 38, the husband of country singer LeAnn Rimes, suffered a deep gash on his right heel after he caught it under a 200-lb. steel door, the Chicago Sun-Times reports.

He was taken to Northwestern Memorial Hospital. No other details were available. PEOPLE

The good news is he’ll have time to heal (get it? I’m hilarious!) as he won’t have to come into work next week, or the week after that, or the week after that…

Turns out no one wants to see Eddie Cibrian pretend to be Don Draper as The Hollywood Reporter says terrible ratings have brought about the cancellation of The Playboy Club. Hopefully this means Amber Heard will go back to dancing naked in movies like The Informers and prancing around in bikinis in movies like And Soon the Darkness.

Playboy Club’s cancellation comes after the drama premiered Sept. 20 to underwhelming ratings, attracting 5 million viewers and a 1.6 rating in the advertiser-coveted adults 18-49 demographic. The second episode of the series from showrunner Chad Hodge and 20th Century Fox Television, tumbled 19 percent, luring only 3.8 million viewers and a 1.3 in the demo. Its most recent episode dropped even more, attracting 3.2 million viewers and a 1.2.

The series faced a backlash almost from the start, as the Parents Television Council called for a boycott and urged sponsors to pull out of the show that starred Amber Heard and Eddie Cibrian in a 1960s-set story about the Chicago Playboy Club and the bunnies and men who loved them.

Seven advertisers exited the series in the series’ second week after PTC president deemed the show a “commercial disaster” and called for the network to cancel the “degrading and sexualizing program immediately.” The Hollywood Reporter

Is it just me or did that last quote from PTC’s president make you want to watch the show? They should have milked the controversy for publicity. C’mon. Degrading and sexualizing? That meant I could have watched NBC instead of spending my Monday nights searching Google.

LeAnn Rimes has gotten the same size breast implants as Eddie Cibrian’s ex-wife, Brandi Glanville, is now dieting to be as skinny as her and taken pictures for Twitter in the same exact pose as Brandi.

Now comes news that her wedding last Friday was eerily similar to the wedding between Eddie and Brandi. Us Magazine ups the creepiness factor by 10 detailing the “coincidences.”

First, Rimes wore a wedding gown by Reem Acra which is the same designer Brandi wore. Second, Eddie married Rimes in a beach-side spring ceremony which is the same setting he married Brandi in. Then,

Other odd reminders of the newlyweds’ rocky road to wedded bliss? Rimes and Cibrian cut the cake to the tunes of “I Got You Babe.”

“Interesting,” another source notes of the song selection. “Because that’s the song they did a karaoke duet to at the wrap party of their movie [Northern Lights] in Canada when they were still married, in front of Brandi and Dean [Sheremet]!”

Cibrian even referenced his first marriage in his raucous wedding speech to guests. “Someone loves the f****** microphone and that’s me! We’ve both had much larger weddings before, about 100-150 people both, but we just wanted our closest of friends and family here with us tonight,” Cibrian told revelers on Friday. “The next one will be ever smaller though.” he joked.

Okay, so there were only two similarities and a bunch first marriage reminders but the similarities were big ones. I wouldn’t be surprised if Eddie made LeAnn wear a Brandi Glanville mask on their honeymoon because “it’d be really funny.”

It’s an age old love story. Man meets woman. Man falls in love with woman. Man and woman don’t know how to tell their spouses that they’ve been cheating on them. Man and woman are caught on camera cheating on them. Man and woman finally tell their spouses and divorce. Man tries to model woman as an exact replica of his ex-wife. Man and woman secretly marry at their house over the weekend.

The man and woman in this case are Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes who married in a private ceremony on Friday in front of 40 guests.

“LeAnn and Eddie were happily married today surrounded by their closest family and friends,” the bride’s spokesman, Rhett Usry, confirms exclusively to PEOPLE. “They thank everyone for their well wishes.”

What a Cinderella story. LeAnn Rimes is fulfilling every little girl’s fantasy of finding the right guy during her marriage to some other guy. Life couldn’t get any more perfect for these two.

LeAnn Rimes tweeted on Monday that “A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked! I’m gonna do that from now on, when that rarely happens.”

Good news for Eddie Cibrian because who listens to a woman during an argument anyway? At least now he can stare at her fake tits while he’s not paying attention.

Eddie Cibrian hasn’t worked much as an actor since his stint on CSI: Miami. Because of this, his child support payments to Brandi Glanville were slashed and Brandi even has to give a few bucks back to Eddie.

Coincidentally at the same time Eddie’s payments were lowered, he bought LeAnn an $85k 5-carat oval diamond engagement ring. He’s got to spend that extra money somehow, right? Brandi isn’t too hung up about it though.

“Look, I don’t mind that he got her a ring but the timing wasn’t obviously the best and the truth is the communication is not great right now,” Brandi told RadarOnline.com.

“I just want to get on with my life and to move forward but it is really tough at times because everything has been so very public.”

Radar implies Eddie isn’t that broke because he drives a Prosche and lives in a “lavish” Calabasas house. I beg to differ. Just because a man tools around in a Porsche and gives his then mistress, now girlfriend an $85,000 ring doesn’t mean he’s not poor. He probably has normal toilets in his house and not those fancy Japanese ones that pre-warm the seat for you and shoot water up your butt and then tells you to “have a nice day” when you leave. Can’t you tell the guy is suffering?

When bikini pics of LeAnn Rimes in Mexico came out, everyone just went, “Hey, nice implants.” No big deal. Girls get boob jobs all the time and it’s great. Fantastic even.

The problem with these tits though is that she got them from the same surgeon who did Eddie Cibrian’s ex wife Brandi Glanville’s breasts. Even more awkward, LeAnn got the same cup size as Brandi.

“She recently got a boob job,” a source reveals to UsMagazine.com. “She’s always, always been insecure about her size. She was a small A-cup. She often talked about wanting to get implants. She’d say, “I just want a little bit so they’re proportionate to my body.’”

To pump up her new appearance, Rimes even turned to the same plastic surgeon Cibrian’s ex wife Brandi Glanville used — and got the same cup size!

Says the insider, “When Brandi and LeAnn were constantly fighting, one of LeAnn’s jabs at Brandi was that she was plastic. Brandi replied, ‘Be careful, honey. That’s what Eddie likes. You’ll be there someday too.’ Looks like Brandi was right!”

Eddie Cibrian is creepy. If he wasn’t moderately famous, he’d probably be dressing up mannequins into the image of his ideal wife. He might still be famous, however, but this time under the headline, “Police find bodies of four dead hookers in man’s apartment.”

Remember when Eddie Cibrian posted that fake marriage proposal picture on Twitter and everyone gave them the queer eye? Well, they’re actually engaged. But E! says Eddie popped the question before the staged Halloween photo. So don’t get your panties in a bunch.

I’m just going to assume that photo was the actual proposal because the bloody “lunatic” scrawled across the side of the cart advertising White Chapel Asylum behind them makes a lot of sense. The blood used to write it was probably from when they stabbed their previous lovers in the heart.

In March of last year, Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes were caught on video cheating on their respective spouses. Eddie and LeAnn both ended their relationships and Eddie recently moved in with LeAnn.

Now Star is reporting Eddie is back to banging his ex-wife Brandi Glanville. When Star contacted Brandi for comment, she didn’t even try to lie.

Well after Eddie and LeAnn went public with their romance last year, the actor has enjoyed passionate all-night sex sessions with Brandi, whom he’s still in the process of divorcing after eight years of marriage and to whom he owes $23,000 in back child support and alimony payments.

When contacted by Star, Brandi herself admitted to the hookups with Eddie.

“LeAnn is getting a bitter taste of her own medicine,” a friend of Brandi’s tells Star. “Eddie will keep cheating, because that’s just what he does.”

Wait. So did Brandi say that or did “a friend.” Because I’m not sure you can say Brandi herself admitted it when Brandi herself didn’t admit it. That’s like me telling the police that the sex was consensual while the girl lies there silently weeping.

Eddie Cibrian left Brandi Glanville to be with LeAnn Rimes. You’d think that’d be the worst part, your husband leaving you for someone less hot, but it’s not. The worst part is having your husband’s mistress, LeAnn Rimes in this case, move in a block away from your kid’s school in Calabasas, an apparently family oriented community, and then rub your face in that fact. Glanville tells E!:

“There’s no reason for a single woman to move to Calabasas,” Brandi tells E! “It’s all families. There are no young people who live here by themselves. If they were living together, I would understand, but they’re not.”

Things came to a head between Eddie’s former love and his current flame when LeAnn showed up at her son’s school…

“She waited until it was my turn to turn to pick up the kids and pulled out in front of me, waved, threw me a peace sign and smiled,” Glanville tells us. “Then she sent me a text saying, ‘Just so you know I was doing a walk through of my new house.’ “

Next thing you know, LeAnn is going to actually start picking up Brandi’s kids and tell them, “I’m your mommy now.” The scary part is Rimes will most likely have picked up someone elses children. You can tell because one of them is black and the other is Asian.

When there’s video evidence of you making out with the woman you’re allegedly cheating on your wife with, it’s pretty hard to deny an affair. Especially when you’re caught “hanging out” outside the house of your wife’s best friend. Such is the case with Eddie Cibrian. Now his wife, Brandi Glanville, has left his ass over these affairs. Yes, affairs. Pluarl. Did I mention he’s also rumored to have had one with a 24-year-old model named Scheana Marie Jancan?

“Eddie and I have decided to take some time apart,” says Glanville, 36, mother of Mason, 6, and Jake, 2. “I want to do what is best for our children. Eddie and LeAnn [Rimes] deserve each other.”

Thus, hopefully, puts an end to this mess. The only one not getting any action in this story is Brandi and that’s sad. She’s actually quite pretty at certain angles. She should come to my house and look to the left while I comfort her with my kind words and gentle caress.

LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian were caught cheating on their respective partners a while back. They ended it soon thereafter with LeAnn making it a point to flash her wedding ring wherever she went. Now, Cibrian’s wife Brandi Glanville claims Rimes is stalking her husband.

“LeAnn is a stalker,” Glanville tells Us. “She refuses to leave us alone — it is shameful and scary. People are going to say it takes two to tango and I get that, but at some point LeAnn needs to stop asking him to dance.”

Glanville, a model (and mother of Mason, 6, and Jake, 2) alleges that Rimes (who was caught on video sucking Cibrian’s finger during a date) intentionally tracked down her husband at a L.A. Lakers game on May 17 — two weeks after he changed his phone number to end her “constant texting and calling.”

Glanville says Rimes’ motivation for her “disgusting” behavior is to get back in the limelight.

A guy that no one has ever heard of is somehow supposed to get a girl someone has only heard of in passing back into the spotlight? That’s like Lindsay Lohan trying to restart her career by banging a homeless guy. You want to go up the ladder, not down it.

Moments after Us Weekly alleged that LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian were cheating on their respective spouses, Eddie came out and denied the report. Cibrian, not having full understanding of how video works, said:

“Other than being friends and two actors who were romantically intertwined in a movie-for-television we filmed last fall, there is no truth to the reporting. It is a fabricated story that is using random snapshots as connective tissue to create a scandalous relationship.”

Us, shaking their fists, released the security footage hours later and shouted, “Owned!” In the video, two colorless figures are seen at a dinner table holding hands (36 seconds) and kissing (1:47). Us even has the dinner receipt signed by Cibrian himself. If that wasn’t a kick in the nuts, they have more.

The newest issue also shows photos of Cibrian and Rimes meeting up for a three-hour tryst March 14 at the Malibu Beach Inn — where the blinds were closed and a do not disturb sign was placed on the door. Cibrian was not wearing his wedding ring.

All the while, Cibrian’s pickup truck sat in the parking lot with a visible child’s car seat in the back. The actor has two sons, ages 5 and 23 months, with model wife Brandi Glanville.

When did Us turn into private investigators? This is black ops type stuff. They probably have spy satellites watching celebrities’ every move.

Eddie is an idiot though. When someone says they have video of you cheating and posts stills from the video, you don’t call them out on it. That’s like being told a caged tiger is agitated and hungry and then going, “Yea? We’ll see about that!”