The good news is Eli Roth really likes Selena Gomez and wants to be friends. The bad news is we won’t know how the date went until we find her body a week from now.

[via Instagram]

In a MySpace post, Eli Roth describes his inability to get laid by Lindsay Lohan because of his age (35).

And to cap off the best week ever, I was having drinks with a friend at the Beverly Hills Hotel the other night, and Lindsay Lohan walked by our booth with a girlfriend, checking us out. She then went out to the bathroom, turned around, came back and walked by us again, and mumbled to her friend “too old,” and kept walking. Now – she’s absolutely correct – but it was still pretty fucking hilarious. Especially since we were in the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel – where the average age is 97. If you look too old in there you’re fucked! Time to hit the Botox!

P.S. Now I’m in bed with bronchitis from not getting enough sleep last week. Maybe Lindsay’s right!

Weird. I assumed Lindsay walks around in a drunken haze half the day and mauls the first guy she sees. Oddly enough, that is incorrect as it appears she’s pretty picky about who gets to spray their seed over her face.

Eli Roth is busy writing the sequel to Hostel. This time it will center on three girls and begin where the first one left off. He has become the unabomber locking himself away to write this. At the MTV Awards, he spoke a little about Hostel 2.

“I’m writing ‘Hostel 2′ for girls’ it’s going to be three girls this time,” he revealed. “They’re studying in Italy for the summer, and they get lured, and they go back to … well, we’re going to go back to a lot of familiar places.”

“It’s all part of the organization; they’ve got the whole thing set up all over the place, and they have different scouts,” Roth said. “We’re going to learn a lot more about how it all works. In ‘Hostel 2,’ you’re really going to see the ins and outs of the whole organization and how they get people and kill them.

Hey buddy, just throw in as much or more naked bodies as you did last time and everything will be all right. I don’t see why people are crediting this guy for directing some of the most shocking films. Go see Ichi The Killer, Dead Or Alive or any other one in that genre if you want crazy violence.

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