A pregnant Jessica Simpson poses nude for the April issue of Elle. Sort of like Demi Moore, Britney Spears and Cindy Crawford did way back when. It’s one of the staples of magazines who’ve run out of ideas.

Along with the pregnant spread is an interview where Jessica tells Elle that she hopes her kid grows up to be a fashion snob. “I swear, I will croak if she asks me for a pair of Nikes instead of Christian Louboutins!”

She’s also worried her daughter will be too into sports. “Eric is so athletic. We’re gonna have this athletic girl and I won’t even be able to take her shopping.” Because she’ll be too busy scratching her crotch and yelling at the Pats, right?

Jessica also knew right away she was pregnant. “We were goin’ to have an all-day drinking binge,” Simpson says, not shy about saying so. “Gonna ride our bikes, hang out…do naughty things. But I started feeling this overwhelming guilt. Why would I feel guilt at the idea of going out and having cocktails with my friends?”

Sure, it could have been that but I think it’s more likely the guilt came from looking in the mirror and seeing how fat she was getting and thinking, “I should really hit the gym.”

Emma Stone is good at flying under the radar despite becoming more and more famous every day, due in part to her Golden Globe nominated role in Easy A and in part to her new role in The Amazing Spider-Man. She mostly retains her anonymity by not getting high and drunk and crashing into police cars which leads me to believe there’s something seriously wrong with her. Maybe Hollywood hasn’t installed her PR chip yet.

Whatever the case, she’s in the current issue of Elle and does the “I was an awkward kid” thing. Although with a little twist.

On having braces and wearing glasses while growing up: “And I sucked my thumb until I was 11, so I had this expander in. I was a good-looking kid. I never felt, like, dorky. I was just like, ‘Yup, these are my braces. I’ve had them forever.’”

On not being recognized as easily in public with her new look: “I mean, I haven’t been around very long. I can’t expect everyone to have seen The House Bunny. Oh God. I am having such waves of internal embarrassment, which now I’m admitting on a tape recorder. This is so one of the things I should keep in my head.” [Elle]

One of the most important things you can get from this is there’s a good chance Emma Stone has an oral fixation. You know what that means, right? *Pushes tongue against cheek, pretends to brush teeth*

Friday is a great day for Jessica Alba. Besides Jessica’s nude pics leaking, she also has an interview with Elle Magazine where she throws screenwriters under a bus. Alba quipped, “Good actors, never use the script unless it’s amazing writing. All the good actors I’ve worked with, they all say whatever they want to say.”

That’s funny. To think Jessica has the ability to improv anything is hilarious. I’ve seen monkeys with more range. That’s probably why most of her movies are terrible.

Also, congrats on committing career suicide. Now whenever Jessica gets a script, her lines will just be random ASCII characters that when put together, form a big middle finger.

Megan Fox tells Elle that she thinks people roll their eyes when she talks about her husband Brian Austin Green because they think she’s too young to be married.

Megan Fox: Actress, bombshell

Credits: Teen-boy-movie staple; cast as fallen angel in the upcoming drama Passion Play opposite Mickey Rourke and Bill Murray.

On being married: “When I talk about my husband [Brian Austin Green], I feel as if people roll their eyes. It’s like when you’re 16 and order a martini, and the waiter says, ‘Do you think I’m stupid?’ They can’t grasp that I’m old enough to be married.”

Then again, maybe it’s because she says inane stuff like this or maybe it’s because no one wants to hear how great her life is. Oh, you’re pretty and have a kick-ass body and your husband is the greatest guy in the world. Well, I have a pet rock that I named Squishy. Can we have sex now?

The top secret group known as the International Magazine Collectors scanned the March 2010 issue of Elle featuring Olivia Wilde.

Who makes up this group of nerds? How were they formed? What is their goal? Do they have even higher resolution scans of Olivia Wilde with her ass in the air? These are all questions I demand answers to!

The Spanish Elle Magazine punches the American Elle Magazine right in its gay fairy face by having their July edition feature a bunch of naked Latin actresses you’ve never heard of. Blanca Romero, Patricia Conde, Elsa Pataky, Leonor Watling, Laura Sánchez, Mónica Cruz, Natalia Verbeke, Ariadne Artiles, Eugenia Silva, Bimba Bosé are all nude or nude-but-covered in the upcoming issue. Not only that, but you’ll also be excited to know about “la monda tiene conciencia shopping sostenible (&chic)” I know, right?!