Halle Berry went through an ugly separation with Gabriel Aubry where she called him a racist and he called her batsh*t crazy and had some emails to back it up. Well, looks like Oliver Martinez doesn’t read the tabloids because he proposed to Halle.

A rep for jewelry designer Gurhan tells PEOPLE that Olivier Martinez, Berry’s boyfriend of more than a year, has given her a diamond-and-emerald engagement ring.

The Oscar-winning actress, 45, costarred with Martinez, 46, a French actor, in the 2010 film Dark Tide. They soon became an item off-screen. PEOPLE

In 5 months, Oliver may find a shiv plunged deep in his liver over an argument about pancakes, but god, will the sex be great.

This was reported two weeks ago, but now Us sort of confirms it saying Justin Timberlake proposed to Jessica Biel in the mountains of Wyoming.

“Justin knows how much she loves snowboarding and the mountains, so it was the perfect place,” one insider explains.

After a brief three-month split in 2011, Biel made it clear that she wanted to spend her life with Timberlake, 30. “When they reunited, they had a conversation about taking the next step.” Us Weekly

Justin Timberlake was rumored to have been with Mila Kunis, Olivia Wilde, Olivia Munn and Amanda Seyfried. Basically all his co-stars. Proposing to Jessica Biel was obviously the next logical step after running out of vaginas.

If you missed this from the morning round-up, let me repeat it. Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel might be engaged per Lainey. A tweet from an art gallery in Jackson, Wyoming read, “Word on the street is that Justin Timberlake proposed to Jessica Biel at the Amangani last night…we’re picking out post-engagement presents for them just in case they come in! Trying to play it cool…”

The Amangani is a luxury resort in Wyoming. There’s no confirmation yet so who knows. Maybe Jessica Biel finally convinced Justin to marry her by mercilessly beating him and asking, “Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?”

Where one marriage fails, another one begins. Proving the rumors true, Britney Spears and Jason Trawick got engaged last week at his 40th birthday party at Planet Hollywood.

Spears, donning a short, nude Herve Leger dress, stepped out a few hours later and revealed her highly-anticipated Neil Lane sparkler during a congratulatory welcome on the hotel’s mezzanine. Planet Hollywood Chairman Robert Earl presented Trawick with an oversized birthday cake in a quick ceremony.

“She wanted it to be quick because her kids where upstairs and she wanted to put them to bed,” a source told PEOPLE.

Following the celebration, the duo stopped in at Sugar Factory’s Chocolate Lounge where they shared a turkey burger and a club sandwich in a room closed off to the public to give the couple privacy. A line of waiters where later seen bringing a tray of cupcakes and a large sundae of ice cream covered in sprinkles. [ed. note: naturally]

Old Britney was way more fun. Old Britney would have taken a handful of that cake, shoved it in her mouth and then paraded around Planet Hollywood with a chocolate-smeared face asking if anyone would want to exchange outfits with her. New Britney is boring. New Britney just ends the night at shoving a handful of cake in her mouth.

According to multiple sources, Britney Spears is getting engaged to Jason Trawick tonight. In Las Vegas. And Britney already knows. Wait, wouldn’t that mean they’re already engaged if Britney knows? Being a celebrity with a conservatorship is so confusing.

Sources say Britney’s conservators have given their stamp of approval. The matter will go before the judge in the conservatorship case but it’s virtually certain Brit will get the judge’s sign off.

And we’re told … Jason did it the old fashioned way … by asking Britney’s dad, Jamie Spears, for permission to marry his daughter.

And they’re also doing it the new-fashioned way … we’ve learned there WILL be a prenup. TMZ

If I didn’t know who Britney was and didn’t know she bastes turkeys with $100 bills, this would be a red flag. It’s almost never a good sign when you ask a girl to marry you and she says she first has to make sure the courts deem her mentally fit to say yes.

Looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt’s club for failed relationships just got a lot lonelier because Anne Hathway found a guy who isn’t a shady con-artist who pretends to be a priest as part of a real estate scam. That is to say, after three years of dating, Anne Hathaway and actor Adam Shulman are engaged.

The Oscar-nominated actress, 29, has been spotted out and about recently wearing an engagement ring — designed, her rep tells Us, by Kwiat Heritage.

“We hit it off immediately, but it took us a pretty long time to get together,” Hathaway has said. After they realized they were both single, the actress reveals that “things sped up a bit — and I think I’ll leave it at that.”

“So far, it’s worked out great,” the Dark Knight Rises actress told Harper’s Bazaar of her guy, adding that Shulman was far more “mellow” than her previous romances.

“Mellow doesn’t always make for a good story, but it makes for a good life.”Us Magazine

Anne continued, “Compared to bilking old people out of money, drowning stray cats in the bathtub doesn’t seem quite so bad.”

After ending their three month engagement, Jay Cutler has re-proposed to Kristin Cavallri. Probably after she begged and pleaded for his NFL contract to work it out. Originally, Cutler broke it off with Cavallari when she wouldn’t move to Chicago to “commit to him.” She insisted she had a career in LA and was working on a TV project which ended up being Dancing With the Stars.

Kristin is reportedly “over the moon with happiness.” The original wedding date was set for summer of 2012 but a source says, “they haven’t set a new date yet.” But, no doubt, how soon the wedding will be will be proportional to how many make-up bjs Jay Cutler gets.

Frankie Muniz, who has $40m in the bank, son!,  is engaged to his girlfriend of four years, Elycia Turnbow.

Last we left Frankie and Elycia, Frankie had put a gun to his head threatening to kill himself. Elycia called the cops thinking he was suicidal. When Frankie came back from the hospital, he punched her in the back of the head and slammed her into a wall. Frankie denied Elycia’s version of events explaining, “I love her too much. She is the woman I want to marry.” Aww, if covering up domestic violence isn’t true love, I don’t know what is.

Muniz tweeted the other day, “After 4 years together, I’m so happy to be ENGAGED to the love of my life @ElyciaMarie!!!” Meanwhile, Elycia tweeted, “Frankie Muniz I love you!!! It’s official… I’m engaged!!!”

This was a good day for Frankie. He didn’t even have to punch his girlfriend in the back of the head during his proposal to get her to accept. How sweet!

Brenda Song’s mother insisted to Star back in September that her sweet, innocent daughter isn’t pregnant with Trace Cryus’ baby but when Brenda walked out with Trace Cyrus in what looked like clothing to hide a pregnancy, everyone lifted their eyebrow and let out a “mm hmm.” Now they’re getting married. Trace tweeted over the weekend,

I am very excited to say, last week I asked my girlfriend Brenda Song to marry me and she said YES! We are both very excited to be engaged! Trace Cyrus Twitter

To which Miley responded,

@TraceCyrus can’t wait for Brenda to be a Cyrus :) couldn’t be more excited about my “sister in law to be” yay :) Miley Cyrus Twitter

If the wedding happens in two weeks and Brenda gives birth in six months, then you’ll know either something fishy is going on or Brenda has the most advanced womb in the world.

Criss Angel, who’s miraculously cornered the market on douchey magicians, is engaged to Sandra Gonzalez. He surprised her in Cabo with a 5-carat diamond and platinum ring. Angel’s rep says, “The couple is ecstatic.”

Angel and Gonzalez met four years ago on the set of his series Mindfreak. Conveniently after he divorced his wife in 2006. Note that Angel hid the fact that he was married during the series to further his career. Because that’s what douche bags do. She appeared in two of his illusions and was credited as “Criss’s Girl.”

In November 2008, Criss began dating Holly Madison. That relationship ended a year later. I’m not sure where Sandra fits into this timeline but my best guess would be in a box with a secret trap door where he keeps all his side pieces.

Up top is Criss Angel and a girl credited as Jennifer White but who may actually be Sandra Gonzalez in Mexico at the end of August.

In a last ditch effort to save her just cancelled reality show, Kat Von D and Jesse James have become engaged again. I think this way because I’m cynical.

Jesse confirms the news to PEOPLE and says Kat is wearing her ring again. “Sometimes you are only given one chance in life,” he says. “It was up to me to open my eyes and see it. That girl is my chance. I will never stop fighting and striving to hold on to her. Showing her how special she is, and how much I love her.” He also tweeted, “*para siempre*” with a link to the photo above.

I imagine after this Kat went to the TLC execs to plead her case and said, “Maybe THIS will change your mind,” while waving her engagement ring in the air. When execs shook their heads, that’s when Kat got really desperate and started juggling and tap dancing at the same time.

It’s only been two months since Jennifer Aniston stole Justin Theroux away from his live-in girlfriend but a source says they’re already pre-engaged and that Jennifer already bought bridesmaid dresses for all her cats. That last part I made up but I assume it’s nevertheless true.

“They’re kind of pre-engaged,” a friend of Jen’s tells the magazine. “We keep saying, ‘whats with the rings? It’s only been a few weeks!’ But she says it feels right.”

Jen was spotted wearing a gold ring with her name on it in June and shortly after Justin was sporting the exact same one! Then at the Horrible Bosses premiere, Jen wore a huge diamond ring — she hadn’t worn a ring on her left hand since her divorce from Brad Pitt in 2005!

“He has always been somewhat cynical and pessimistic,” the source adds. “But he has a happy, upbeat vibe now, like he’s a better version of himself … Justin shaved his scruffy beard; he’s gone from looking like a dirty biker to a leading man. The motorcycle boots have been replaced by Gucci shoes. Jen has been spoiling him with facials and pedicures.”

This is good. In the past when she’s dated for more than two months, guys have run away. Now she has the sense to lock them down before they find her Brad Pitt hair doll and Angelina Jolie voodoo doll.

Jennifer Aniston, who’s dating Justin Theroux, showed up to The Daily Show with Jon Stewart in New York City wearing what looked like a shiny ring on her engagement finger.

If you didn’t know, Jenn stole Justin from his girlfriend after the two met on set much like what happened with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Maybe this is what needed to happen to break the spinster curse.

Or maybe not. According to Jezebel, the ring Jennifer is wearing could be just the gold “Jennifer” ring she’s been known to wear on her engagement finger.

Whew. That was close. One of the signs of the Apocolypse is Jennifer Aniston getting a marriage proposal. Or at least that’s what it says in the Bible.